“Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydireceğim“.

“Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydireceğim“.

T.C.
ÇALIŞMA VE SOSYAL GÜVENLİK BAKANLIĞI
TÜRKİYE İŞ KURUMU GENEL MÜDÜRLÜĞÜ
DEZAVANTAJLI GRUPLARIN
‹ST‹HDAMA G‹R‹fi H‹ZMETLER‹N‹ GEL‹fifiT
T‹RME
P‹LOT PROJES‹
KATILIMCILAR KONUfifiU
UYOR:
“ANNEME BEYAZ ELB‹SELER
G‹YD‹RECE⁄‹M…”
‹lknur ÜSTÜN
S.Nazik IfiIK
Türkiye ‹fl Kurumu Genel Müdürlü¤ü (‹fiKUR)
Avrupa E¤itim Vakf› (AEV)
Ankara, Mart 2006
K–Q
TSE - ISO - EN
9000
Kurum Yay›n No
: 334
Bas›m Tarihi
Bask› ve Renk Ayr›m›
: Mart 2006
: An›l Matbaac›l›k Ltd. fiti. (0.312) 229 37 41 - 42
www.anilmatbaacilik.com
ÖNSÖZ
Kurumumuz taraf›ndan, Avrupa ‹stihdam Stratejisi hedefleri do¤rultusunda, istihdam
politikalar›n›n güçlendirilmesi amac›yla, 2006 y›l› için dezavantajl› hedef gruplara yönelik olarak
Avrupa Komisyonundan talep edilmifl olan "Aktif ‹stihdam Tedbirleri ve Yerel Düzeyde ‹fiKUR’a Teknik
Destek Projesi" ne destek olmak üzere, Avrupa E¤itim Vakf›’na önerilen Projenin, kal›c› ve referans
niteli¤inde olmas›n› hedefledi¤imiz iki kitab›n› sizlere sunuyoruz.
Bu Projede, dezavantajl› gruplar›n iflgücü piyasas›na kazand›r›lmas›na yönelik ulusal istihdam
politikalar› ve eylem planlar›n›n gelifltirilmesine örnek olacak bir çal›flma yöntemi uyguland›. Proje
yararlan›c›s› olarak seçilen grubun birden çok dezavantaj› bünyesinde tafl›mas›, Kurumumuzun
öncelikle Sosyal Hizmetler ve Çocuk Esirgeme Kurumu ve Milli E¤itim Bakanl›¤›yla politika oluflturma
düzeyinde iflbirli¤i yapmas›na neden oldu. Di¤er yandan kamu kurumu olarak sivil toplum kurulufllar›
ile birlikte çal›flman›n bir örne¤i verildi.
Projenin Kurumumuzun yeni bir dezavantajl› grup ile tan›flmas›n› sa¤lamas› yan›nda, verilen
e¤itimlerin, kad›nlar›n iflgücü piyasas›nda daha fazla ve güçlü olarak yer almalar›n› sa¤layacak meslek
e¤itimi ile birlikte, ifl ve meslek dan›flmanl›¤›ndan toplumsal cinsiyet rollerine uzanan bir e¤itim
program›n› kapsamas› bundan sonra bu tür gruplar için yap›lacak çal›flmalara yeni bir ufuk açm›flt›r.
Di¤er yandan, elinizde bulunan "Kat›l›mc›lar Konufluyor" kitab›n› Projenin di¤er ç›kt›s› olan "Proje
El Kitab›"yla birlikte incelemek, dezavantajl› gruplara neden farkl› yaklafl›mlar göstermemiz gerekti¤ini
ve bu fark› yok etmek için gerekli ipuçlar›n› grubun kendi sözcükleri içinde verecektir.
Projemize kat›lan gençlerimize, Avrupa E¤itim Vakf›’na ve çal›flman›n yürütülmesinde eme¤i geçen
kurum, kurulufl, sivil toplum örgütü ve kiflilere ‹fiKUR ad›na teflekkür ediyorum. Yap›lan çal›flmalar›n
bundan sonra yap›lacak benzer çal›flmalar için yararl› bir örnek oluflturmas›n› diliyorum.
Nam›k ATA
Genel Müdür V.
III
ÖNSÖZ
2006 y›l› için Avrupa Komisyonundan talep edilmesi tasarlanan bir destek önerisine
haz›rl›k amac›yla, ‹fiKUR, 2005 y›l›nda, Sosyal Hizmetler ve Çocuk Esirgeme Kurumu
yurtlar›nda yetifltirilmifl bir grup k›z ö¤rencinin rehberlik, dan›flmanl›k ve e¤itim gibi aktif
istihdam tedbirlerinden yararlanmas›na yönelik bir proje haz›rlam›fl ve projenin uygulamas›na
geçmek için Avrupa E¤itim Vakf›n›n yard›m›n› istemifltir.
Projenin hedefi ‹fiKUR ve personelinin asa¤›daki konularda kurumsal yap›lanma
kapasitesini güçlendirmektir:
- ‹fiKUR’un kurumlararas› iflbirli¤i ve politika üretme yetene¤ini güçlendirmek;
- Belirli dezavantajl› gruplara hedeflendirilmifl hizmetleri gelifltirmek;
- Özel hedef guruplar› için aktif iflgücü piyasas› önlemlerini kolaylaflt›rmak ve
de¤erlendirmek.
Projenin nihai hedefi politika ö¤renimini kolaylaflt›rmak ve bu pilot giriflimden ö¤renilen
dersleri di¤er hedef gruplara yönelik faaliyetlere ve (Avrupa Komisyonuna 2006 y›l›nda
önerilecek olan) daha büyük ölçekli programlara aktarmakt›r.
Bu proje, 2004 y›l›nda AEV deste¤i ile Konya’da yürütülen, iflgücü piyasas›n›n taleplerini
analiz eden projenin deneyimleri üzerine infla edilmifl, mesleki rehberlik ve e¤itimi içermifl ve
sosyal taraflar›n yak›n iflbirli¤i ile yürütülmüfltür.
Elinizdeki kitap proje kat›l›mc›lar›n›n bak›fl› aç›s›ndan projenin etkilerini de¤erlendirmeyi
amaçlamaktad›r.
Avrupa E¤itim Vakf› (AEV)
IV
‹Ç‹NDEK‹LER
G‹R‹fi
............................................................................................................................................VII
B‹R‹NC‹ BÖLÜM ....................................................................................................................................11
Yoksul Çocuklar›, Yurt Çocuklar›, K›z Çocuklar›
Yoksul Çocuklar›
-
Önce yoksulluk…
-
Çözülmüfl ya da pamuk ipli¤iyle ba¤l› aile ba¤lar›
- Yoksul do¤dun yoksul mu öleceksin?
Yurt Çocuklar›
-
Herkes kendi yolundan yürüyüp gelir…
• Her yaflta gelen var…
• Nedenler…
• Yönlendirenler: Ö¤retmen, müdür, imam, muhtar…
• Nas›l geldi¤ini bilen de var, bilmeyen de…
-
Aileden kopman›n ac›s›: Al›flmak zaman ister…
-
Yurt çocu¤u “devletin çocu¤u”, aileyse “hayali ve s›cak bir yuva”
-
Herkesin aile iliflkisi kendine…
-
‹kame duygular: “Kimsesizlik ve sahipsizlik” yerine “birbirine sahip ç›kma”…
-
Toplumla iliflkiler sanc›l›, ac›l›, s›n›rl›…
-
“Yurt çocu¤u” s›fat›n›n yükünü kim kald›racak?
-
K›zlar için yurdun alternatifi: okulsuzluk, erken evlenme,çok çocuk…
-
Yurdun imkanlar› aileninkilerden hayal kadar uzakta…
-
Yurt mücadeleci yapar, ama ekme¤in fiyat›n› ö¤retmez…
‹yi ya da kötü iz b›rakanlar: Yurt çal›flanlar›
K›z Çocuklar›
-
K›z olmak, hep kontrol alt›nda olmak…
-
fiiddet, her yerde fliddet…
-
“Çal›flmak kad›na güvence ve güç sa¤lar” inanc›
‹K‹NC‹ BÖLÜM ......................................................................................................................................27
‹stihdam: Umutlar, Beklentiler, Sorunlar…
Neden çal›flflm
mak istiyorlar?
-
Çal›flmak, kendin için, bilmek için, deneyim için…
-
Kendisi ve ailesi için çal›flmak isteyenler
-
Devlete ve Kurum’a katk›da bulunmak isteyenler…
V
Nerede, nas›l çal›flflm
mak istiyorlar?
Hayal ettikleri ifller hizmet sektöründe…
Mevcut ifl deneyimleri, enformal sektör a¤›rl›kl›
-
Çal›flma alanlar› çeflitli
-
Genellikle yasal standartlar›n d›fl›nda çal›flm›fllar…
• Kurals›zl›k esas: Düflük ve düzensiz ücret, sigorta ve güvence yok…
• Cinsel taciz ve taciz tehdidi alt›nda olmak
• ‹flyerinde cinsel taciz çok flikayet imkan› ise az…
• Müflteriye cinsel içerikli mesaj vermek…
‹yi iflveren “bana iyi davranan iflveren”dir…
Onlar› dezavantajl› k›lan ne?
-
Kurumsal ifl arama kanallar›n› bilmiyor, kullanam›yorlar…
-
Güvenceli ifllere eriflememek: “Arkam yok”
-
Meslek dan›flmanl›¤› hizmetlerinden yararlanmam›fl olmak…
-
Rekabette avantaj önemli: “Herkes lise mezunu, herkes…”
-
“Erkek olsayd›n, al›rd›k.”
-
Yine yurt çocuklu¤u, yine önyarg›lar, yine sahipsizlik, tacize aç›kl›k
-
Çal›flma hayat›n› ve haklar›n› bilmemek…
ÜÇÜNCÜ BÖLÜM ................................................................................................................................39
Projeye ‹liflflk
kin Beklentiler, Proje’den Elde Edilenler
‹fifiK
KUR’la bu Proje sayesinde tan›flfltt›lar…
Proje’den nas›l haberdar oldular?
Yerel toplant›larda tan›flfltt›k…
Sonra, umut k›ran, uzun bekleyiflfl…
…
Neden kat›ld›lar?
Nas›l geldiler?
Kendinizi nas›l özel hissedersiniz?
“Birbirimizi anlad›k, ayn› yerden gelmiflfliiz”
Ve e¤itimler…
“Her genç ifl hayat›na at›lmadan önce güçlenme e¤itiminden geçmeli”
fifiiimdi hayata daha bir haz›rlar…
VI
G‹R‹fi
“…Onlar›n bilmesini istemiyoruz ve hala da bilmiyorlar. Biz yurtta yat›l› kald›k,
öyle... Asl›nda ben bunu söylemek de isterim. Hiç kimse bunun tam anlam›yla
neden, yani yetifltirme yurtlar›nda kimler kal›yor, neden kal›yor, niçin, ne amaçla
kald›klar›n› bilmiyor. Erzincan’da bile “özel mi oras›, para m› ödüyorsunuz”, öyle
tuhaf tuhaf sorular soruyorlard›. Veya “yok kimsesizler kal›yor”, deniyordu.
Söylemek... ‹flte: “Yurtta kald›n, nerede kald›n?”; “Erzincan’da.” “Yetifltirme
yurdunda kald›m”, diyemedim ve her seferinde biri bunu sordu¤unda kalbim küt
küt at›yor, s›rt›mdan kaynar sular dökülüyor ve hemen ne söyleyece¤imi flafl›r›yordum yani. Benim için hiçbir sak›ncas› yok. Bunu söylerim, anlat›r›m, ama hiç kimse
bunu tam anlam›yla anlam›yor, farkl› gözle bak›yorlar...”
Yurt çocu¤u olmay› saklamak zorunda kalman›n s›k›nt›s›n› bu cümlelerle anlat›yor bir kat›l›mc›m›z. Onun
gibi yetifltirme yurtlar›nda büyümüfl 70 genç k›z ile e¤itim döneminde yapt›¤›m›z yüzyüze görüflmelerde
yoksullu¤un, yurtta büyümenin, genç k›zl›¤›n hayatta ve iflgücü piyasas›nda nas›l, hangi dezavantajlar› yaratt›¤›n›
arad›k. Zaten zor olan hayat›n bu dezavantajlarla nas›l daha da zorlaflt›¤›n› duyduk, gördük. Biz, Proje sayesinde
gördüklerimizi ilgililere de gösterelim istedik. Ve bu kitapla, kendi anlatt›klar›yla yoksul, yurtta büyümüfl bir genç
k›z olman›n ne demek oldu¤unu, iflgücü piyasas›na giriflte ne gibi sorunlarla karfl› karfl›ya b›rakt›¤›n› göstermeye
çal›flt›k. Çünkü, bu kitap flu soruya aç›klama getirmeyi amaçl›yor: Neden dezavantajl› gruplara farkl› yaklaflfl››mlar
geliflflttirmek gerekir?
Projenin iki temel kavram› vard›: Dezavantajl› olmak ve istihdam.
Cinsiyet eflitli¤i ve dezavantajl› gruplar›n iflgücü piyasas›na girifllerine yönelik aktif istihdam tedbirleri amaçl›
bu Proje ile ‹fiKUR, özellikle kamu kurum ve kurulufllar›, sosyal taraflar ve sivil toplum kurulufllar› ve yerel
iflverenlerle kurumlar aras› iflbirli¤ini art›rmay›, tan›mlanm›fl dezavantajl› gruplara odaklanm›fl özel amaçl› hizmet
sa¤lamay› ve gelifltirmeyi, hedef gruba yönelik aktif istihdam önlemlerini tasarlamay›, denemeyi ve ilk sonuçlar›n›
de¤erlendirmeyi ve baflka gruplara da uygulanabilir niteliklerde bir istihdam hizmetlerini gelifltirme önerisini
ortaya ç›karmay› hedeflemektedir. Bu Proje, biri ‹fiKUR’dan (Ayflen KARAKULAK) di¤eri sivil toplumdan (S.Nazik
IfiIK) iki kad›n›n, hayallerin gerçe¤e dönüflebilece¤i inanc›yla ç›kt›klar› yolun ürünü.
Projeler, uygulayan teknik ekibi, hedef ald›¤› kitle ile insanlar için ve insanlarla bafllar. Eksi¤i veya fazlas›,
yanl›fllar› ve do¤rular› ile bir flekilde tamamlan›rlar. Bu kitab›, bu Proje içinde karfl›laflt›¤›m›z insan hikayelerinin
unutulmamas›, Proje’nin amac› ile yo¤rulmas› ve Proje’nin bu insanlar için oldu¤unun vurgulanmas› için
tasarlad›k, haz›rlad›k. Bu Proje bafl›ndan itibaren gerek ‹fiKUR, Milli E¤itim Bakanl›¤› ve SHÇEK’ten gerekse sivil
toplumdan uzman kiflilerin çeflitli biçim ve düzeylerde katk›lar›yla yürüdü. Bu kitap da bu katk›lardan pay›n› ald›.
Çal›flma Grubu olarak Proje boyunca yapt›¤›m›z de¤erlendirme toplant›lar›ndaki tart›flmalar›m›z da kitaba ›fl›k
tuttu. Kitab›m›z Proje sürecinin görünmeyen arka plan›ndan kesitler sunmay›, insan hayat›na nas›l, ne kadar
dokundu¤unu kat›l›mc›lar›n anlat›lar›ndan bir ölçüde de olsa göstermeyi amaçl›yor. Ayn› zamanda, kat›l›mc›lar›n
Proje’ye nas›l bir anlam yükledi¤ini, beklenti ve umutlar›n›n, kayg›lar›n›n neler oldu¤unu görmeye, bak›fl
aç›lar›n›n ve yaklafl›mlar›n›n kendi geçmifllerinden ve içinde yer ald›klar› sosyal ortamdan nas›l etkilendi¤ini anlamaya çal›fl›yor.
Yöntemimiz, yar› yap›land›r›lm›fl görüflme formu ile yüzyüze görüflmeydi. Genel çerçevemize ba¤l› kalmakla
birlikte, konuflman›n yönünü görüfltü¤ümüz kiflinin anlat›lar›na göre belirledik.
VII
Kitaba temel oluflturan yüzyüze görüflmeler, Proje’nin Çal›flma Grubu’nda da yer alan üç uzman/dan›flman
kad›n (‹lknur ÜSTÜN, Gül ERDOST ve S.Nazik IfiIK) taraf›ndan, kat›l›mc›lar›m›z›n kald›¤› otelde gerçeklefltirildi.
Proje’nin kat›l›mc›lar› olan, Sosyal Hizmetler ve Çocuk Esirgeme Kurumu’nda (SHÇEK) yetifltirme
yurtlar›nda büyümüfl, 17-29 yafl aras›nda, baz›s› hala yurtlarda kalmakta baz›s› ayr›lm›fl toplam 70 genç k›zla
derinlemesine görüflmeler yapt›k. Kat›l›mc›lardan e¤itimi tamamlamadan ayr›lan ikisiyle görüflme yap›lamad›.
Görüflme formumuz befl ana bölümden olufluyordu: Kiflisel bilgiler, yurt dönemine iliflkin bilgiler, istihdama
iliflkin bilgiler, Proje serüveni ve son de¤erlendirmeler. Böylece, hem kendileri, aileleri, yurt yaflam›, çal›flma
yaflam› ve buna iliflkin bilgileri, Proje ile iliflkileri ve de¤erlendirmeleri hakk›nda, hem de k›z çocu¤u olman›n, yurt
çocu¤u olman›n ne oldu¤u, ücretli çal›flman›n kendisi için ne anlama geldi¤i, k›z çocu¤u olmakla yaflad›klar›
aras›nda nas›l bir iliflki kurduklar› hakk›nda bilgi edindik. Yaflam öykülerini dinlemek genellikle kald›r›lmas› güç
bir a¤›rl›k iken, Proje serüvenleri heyecanl› bir umuttu.
Görüflmelerin tamam›, Proje’de, ard arda Haziran-A¤ustos 2005 döneminde üç ayr› grup halinde Ankara’da
gerçeklefltirilen e¤itim dönemlerinde gerçeklefltirildi. Her dönemde çeflitli illerden gelen kat›l›mc›lar›n Ankara’daki
ilk haftas›n› bizlerle tan›fl›p, yak›nlaflabilmeye ve belirli bir düzeyde güven iliflkisi kurmaya b›rakt›k. Bu nedenle,
bu kitaba esas olan görüflmelere e¤itim döneminin ikinci haftas›ndan önce bafllamad›k.
Her görüflme 40 dakika ile 3 saat aras›nda de¤iflen sürelerde oldu. Ço¤unlu¤u ortalama 1-1,5 saat sürdü.
Görüflmelerin, 47’sinde ses kay›t cihaz› kulland›k, 23’ünde sadece not tutabildik. Ses kay›t cihaz›, baz›
görüflmecilerde bafllang›çta s›k›nt› yaratt›; fakat, görüflmenin ilerleyen dakikalar›nda bu s›k›nt›y› att›klar›n› ve
rahatl›kla birçok fleyi konuflabildiklerini gördük. 2-3 görüflmeci kay›t cihaz›ndan ötürü rahat konuflamad›klar›n›
söylediyse de, cihaz› kapatmam›z› da istemedi. Görüflmelerin ço¤unda kayda girmesini istemedikleri çok özel
aç›klamalar s›ras›nda kay›t cihaz›n› kapatt›k. Özellikle yurda verilifl hikayeleri anlat›l›rken ve ailelerden söz
edilirken yaflanan duygusal anlar, görüflmelerin kesintiye u¤rad›¤› zamanlar oldu. Bizim için de hiç kolay olmad›,
hala da de¤il.
Kat›l›mc›m›z genç k›zlara bu kitapta isimlerinin ve resimlerinin yer almas›n› nas›l karfl›layacaklar›n› hep
sorduk. 1-2 kifli d›fl›nda hiçbiri s›cak bakmad›. Bu konuda çok temkinliydiler; çünkü, geçmifl yaflant›lar› yeterince
rahats›z edici deneyimle doluydu. Kendileri için olmasa bile “d›flar›da bir hayat kurmufl abla, a¤abeylerinin
hayat›n›n bundan etkilenmesi”nden kayg›lan›yorlard›. Yurt çocu¤u olman›n nas›l bir d›fllanma yaratabildi¤ine dair
gözlemlerimiz biriktikçe, hakl› olduklar›na inand›k. Bu nedenle, bu kitapta görüfltü¤ümüz 70 k›z›n ad›na yer vermedik. Ama, biliyoruz ki, onlar bu kitab› okuduklar›nda, kendilerini bulacak, tan›yacaklard›r.
Görüflmeler, e¤itimlerden kalan zamanlarda, kat›l›mc›lar›m›z için uygun olan saatlerde, önceden randevular
belirlenerek ve bafl bafla yap›ld›. Böylece baz› görüflmeler sabah›n erken saatlerinde baz›s› gece mesailerinde
gerçeklefltirilmifl oldu. Görüflmeler s›ras›nda kat›l›mc›lar, sadece sözlü ifadeyle de¤il beden diliyle de çok fley
anlatt›lar; üzüldükleri, heyecanland›klar›, sevindikleri fleyler gibi, anlatmakta zorland›klar›, söylemek
istemediklerini de elleri-kollar›, durufllar›, yüz ifadeleriyle anlatt›lar. Biz, gördüklerimizin çok az›n› bu kitaba
yans›tabildik.
Görüflmelerin çözümü (deflifresi), meflakkatli bir iflti. Çok uzun zaman ald›. Kat›l›mc›lar, onlara gizlilik
kural›na uyaca¤›m›za söz verdi¤imiz için çok özel fleyler de anlatm›fllard›. Biz de, kaset çözümlerinde de gizlilik
kural›ndan hiçbir flekilde taviz vermedik. ‹fiKUR’un bu konudaki hassasiyetine gerçekten teflekkür borçluyuz.
Kitapta, bize az söz düfltü; çünkü esas olan kat›l›mc›lar›n kendi anlat›mlar› olsun istedik. Kitab›n ad›, bu
uyor: Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im” .
nedenle “Kat›l›mc›lar Konuflflu
Görüflmelerin de¤erlendirilmesinde, önceden belirledi¤imiz yurt yaflam›, genç k›zl›k, çal›flma yaflam› temel
izleklerimiz oldu. Kifliye özel tek tek durumlar› de¤il ortak sorun ve ihtiyaçlar› dikkate ald›k. Böylece, ilk
bölümünde, “yoksul olmak, yurt çocu¤u olmak, k›z çocu¤u olmak”tan söz etmemiz gerekti. Çünkü,
VIII
kat›l›mc›lar›m›z›n anlat›mlar› yoksulluk, genç olman›n deneyimsizli¤i, kurumda yetiflmifl olmak, k›z olmak gibi
çefli tli dezavantajlara ve bunlarla iç içe geçmifl toplumsal d›fllanmaya ortak meseleler olarak vurgu yap›yordu.
‹stihdama yönelik olan ikinci bölümde mevcut deneyimlerini, dezavantajlar›n›, ihtiyaçlar›n› göstermeye çal›flt›k.
Üçüncü ve son bölümde ise, Proje serüvenlerine yer verdik.
Proje’nin istihdam hedefine iliflkin sonuçlar›n› ne yaz›k ki bu kitaba yans›tamad›k. E¤itim dönemleri
tamamland›ktan sonraki iliflkilerden, kamu sektöründeki ifl s›navlar›nda ve çeflitli ifl baflvurular›nda Proje
kapsam›nda tüm bilgi ve deneyimlerden, özellikle de güçlenme e¤itiminden çok yararland›klar›n› ö¤rendik.
‹llerde, ‹fiKUR ‹l Müdürlükleri ile iliflkilerinde neler yaflad›klar›n› ise ne yaz›k ki çok az izleyebildik. Gerek ‹l
Müdürlüklerinin gerekse kat›l›mc›lar›m›z›n bu deneyimlerini izlemek ve de¤erlendirmek, eminiz ki çok ö¤retici,
çok yararl› olacakt›.
Sonuç olarak, bu kitapta amac›m›z, genellemeler yapmak de¤il, farkl›lara standart d›fl› araçlarla de¤mek
gerekti¤ini görünür k›lmakt›. Kat›l›mc›lar›n kendi anlat›mlar›yla, dezavantajl› gruplara yönelik pilot bir istihdam
projesinin s›n›rl› alan›nda projenin dokundu¤u insan› ve o insanla birlikte projenin kazand›¤› anlam›n› ortaya
koymakt›. Çünkü projelerde özellikle de kamu projelerinde kat›l›mc›lar, bir noktadan sonra, genellikle, adeta
görünmezleflirler. Oysa insanla iliflkili her fleyde, de¤di¤imiz insan›, ona de¤di¤imiz yeri, de¤me araçlar›m›z›,
biçimimizi bilmek ve sorgulamak, yap›lan çal›flman›n benzer konularda çal›flanlara yol göstermesi aç›s›ndan önem
maya bir kap› açmak istedik. Umar›z,
tafl›r. Biz de, insan› bütünlük içinde kucaklayan istihdam hizmetlerini tart›flflm
küçük de olsa bu yönde bir katk› yapm›fl›zd›r. Çünkü bu kitap, kat›l›mc›lar›n Proje’nin öngördü¤ünden daha fazla
psikolojik deste¤e ihtiyaçlar› oldu¤unu aç›kça ortaya koyuyor; ayn› zamanda da bu Proje’de yarat›lan atmosferin,
yaklafl›m biçiminin, kendi bafl›na ne kadar de¤erli oldu¤unu gösteriyor.
Biz iki kad›n el ele verdik, bu kitab› haz›rlad›k. Bu süreçte projenin çal›flma grubundaki arkadafllar›m›z›n
hepsinden ilgi, destek, dostluk gördük. En çok da kat›l›mc›lar›m›zdan, görüflmelerde bizimle çal›flan Gül
Erdost’tan ve her aflamada derdimize ortak olan Ayflen Karakulak’tan destek ald›k. Kat›l›mc›lar›m›z ne
yapt›¤›m›z›, sayg›l› ve içten oldu¤umuzu alg›lad›lar, yapmaya çal›flt›¤›m›z›n hem kendilerine ve kendi kuflaklar›na
hem de bundan sonra da yetifltirme yurtlar›ndan yetifleceklere yararl› olacak bir bafllang›ç olabilece¤ine
inand›lar. Özüm Dinçer, görüflme kasetlerimizi h›zla ve özenle çözdü, zamanla yar›fl›m›zda bize yard›mc› oldu.
Projede dinlediklerimizin yükünü üstümüzden alacak bir yöntem öngörülmemiflti. Bu nedenle bu yüke en yak›n
çevremiz tan›k oldular, yani öncelikle ailelerimiz, efllerimiz ve çocuklar›m›z, sonra yak›n dostlar›m›z. Biz çok
insana teflekkür borçluyuz. Yazd›klar›m›z› okuyup görüfllerini bizimle paylaflan ve metni biçimlendirmemizde
katk›s›n› esirgemeyen ‹. Tayfun Üstün’ü, düflüncelerimizi ve gidifl yolumuzu paylafl›p ak›llar›ndan
yararland›¤›m›z dostlar›m›z Serpil Sancar ve Aksu Bora’y› da burada anmak isteriz.
‹lknur ÜSTÜN - S.Nazik IfifiIIK
Ankara, Kas›m 2005
IX
B‹R‹NC‹ BÖLÜM
Yoksul Çocuklar›,
Yurt Çocuklar›,
K›z Çocuklar›
“…Burada kendimi çok güvende hissediyorum. Evimiz yoktu. 6-7 yaflflllar›nda erkek
k›l›¤›na girip duvar diplerinde yaflfl››yordum. Ailemin yan›na arada bir gidiyordum. Babam
felçliydi. Bir y›l önce öldü. Annem ak›ldan yoksun. 3 erkek, 3 k›z kardeflfliiz. 3 çocuk d›flfl››nda
hepsi engelli. Yurda 13 yaflfl››nda baflflvvurdum. Erkek yurdunun yan›ndan geçerken ö¤rendim.
SHÇEK ‹l Müdürlü¤üne gittim ve baflflvvurdum; iki y›l sonra kabul edildim. Kabul edildi¤imde
mutlu oldum. Güvenli bir yerde, s›cak bir yuva ve s›cak yemek beni mutlu etti. Okula 10
yaflfl››nda baflflllad›m. fifiiimdi orta 3’e geçtim. Çekti¤im ac›lar› anlatmam mümkün de¤il. Ailemi
yan›ma al›p s›cak yemekler yapaca¤›m. Özellikle anneme beyaz elbiseler giydirece¤im. Hep
bunu hayal ediyorum…”
12
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
Yoksul Çocuklar›
Yoksul çocu¤u olmak, yurt çocu¤u olmak ve k›z çocu¤u olmak üç kere dezavantajl› k›lm›fl onlar›.
An›msayabilecek yaflta yurda gelenler, zor ve s›k›nt›l› al›flma günlerinden söz ediyorlar. Ama anlat›lar›
“iyi ki yurda verilmiflim, yoksa …” biçiminde devam ediyor; “Yoksa, okuyamazd›m.”, “Yoksa çoktan
evlenmifl, çoluk çocu¤a kar›flm›flt›m.”… Birkaç örnek d›fl›nda tüm hikayelerin ortak yan› yoksullukla
bafllamas›. Onlar›n hayat çizgileri önce yoksullukla k›r›lm›fl. Birer “yurt çocu¤u olma”n›n en önemli
nedeni yoksul ailelerin çocuklar› olarak dünyaya gelmifl olmalar›.
“Yoksul çocuklu¤u” bir gerçektir ama farkl› gerçekler de vard›r. Örne¤in, onlar›n geldi¤i yerde
çocuklar›n› yurda vermemifl, yoksullu¤unu çocuklar›yla birlikte yaflam›fl aileler de vard›r. Onlar›n
gerçe¤inde yoksullu¤un yan› s›ra “e¤itimsizlik”, “sosyal yap›n›n, geleneksel de¤erlerin çözülmesi”, “ana
ya da babadan birini kaybetmifl olmak” da vard›r. Ço¤u kez boflanma/ayr›lma ya da ebeveynlerden
birinin ölümüyle bafllayan ailenin parçalanmas›, baflka baflka parçalanmalarla devam etmifltir. Akrabal›k
iliflkileri pamuk ipli¤inde, bir var bir yoktur. Yani bizim Projemizdeki genç k›zlar, hem yoksul, hem de
akrabalar›ndan ve toplumdan ihtiyaç duyduklar› destekleri genellikle bulamam›fl, ço¤u zaman
yoksullararas› dayan›flmadan da yoksun kalm›fllard›r. Bu onlar›n hikayelerinde sadece yurda gidifl
yolunda de¤il, yurt y›llar›nda ve yurttan sonraki hayatlar›nda da derin izler b›rakm›flt›r.
- Önce yoksulluk…
“…Bizim aile durumumuz hiç iyi de¤ildi, bir masam›z bile yoktu. Bu grubun içinde en kötü
durumda olan benim. Yurtta da aile durumu en kötü olan bendim zaten, benim arkadafllar›m bilir. …
flimdi kaç arkadafl›m›n evine gittiysem, en kötü durumdaki bizimkiydi…”
“…Babam yeni ölmüfltü, maddi durumumuz iyi de¤ildi. ‹lk öldü¤ü zaman, insan kendini bofllukta
hisseder, insan›n kafas› yerinde olmaz. Bir de bizim gelece¤imizi düflündüler. Babam yeni ölmüfltü,
annem gençti, kardefllerim daha küçüktü, biz de küçüktük, ilkokul 3’e gidiyorduk. 3 ay sonra enifltem
öldü. Onun için, mecburen bizi yuvaya vermek zorunda kald›lar ve 5,5 y›l orada kald›k…”
“…a¤abeyim, O ‹stanbul’da kal›yor Gençlik Evi’nde. Bir tane kardeflim var, okuyor. … Evde 5-6
kifli kal›yoruz. Annemle beraber sekiz kifli oluyoruz da yedi kardefl, bir annem, sekiz. A¤abeyim var. O
böyle bir firmada çal›fl›yor muavin olarak. Bir tane ablam var. Tekstil’de çal›fl›yordu O da, paras›n›
vermiyorlard›, ç›kt›, gitmedi. Bu yaz ç›kt›. Bir tane daha a¤abeyim var. O da ifl ar›yor, ama bulam›yor.
…Geçimimizi Belediye Baflkan› falan. Ara s›ra komflular yard›m ediyor, öyle. Bir de kardeflim eve geldi
ya ayni-nakdi yard›m ile, o var. O da dört ayda, üç ayda bir geliyor. …”
“…Biz yurttayken annemin geçimi, yatalak bir kad›na bakt› uzun süre, alt› ay kadar... Daha sonra
doktorun çocu¤una bakt›. Daha sonra tekstil iflinde ifl buldu. Bir sürü ifl yapt›; bulafl›kç›l›k yapt›,
merdiven y›kad›, çocuk bak›c›l›¤› yapt›, sekreterlik yapt›… Her fleyi yapt›. Ama tabi dul bir kad›n, … ”
- Pamuk ipli¤iyle ba¤l› akrabal›k iliflflk
kileri
“… Aileden, ne amcadan, ne dededen, hiç kimseden bir destek alamad›k. Yani, bize destek flu ana
kadar kimse ç›kmad›. Arkam›zda, bizim ailemizde, bir tek annem vard›…”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
13
“…üniversiteye (gitmeyi) çok istiyordum ama imkanlar›m yoktu. Yani elimi tutan olmasa bile,
arkam... Gerçi yok da... ... Mesela, yurtd›fl›nda, Almanya’da, orada burada çok akrabalar›m var;
day›lar›m, halalar›m, amcalar›m... Ama hiçbiri elimizi tutmuyor. Mesela her yaz tatilinde gelirler
tatillerini yaparlar, ç›k›p giderler. Bize gelirler, ç›k›p giderler. Yani, hiç sormuyorlar bu çocuklar yurtta,
bu çocuklar›n ne ihtiyac› var, bu zavall› kad›n yedi çocu¤a nas›l bak›yor?”
“… Babam, flofördü, …l›lar›n hepsi tan›rd›. Durumumuz iyiydi. Sonra rahats›z olmaya bafllad›, aya¤›
filan a¤r›maya bafllad›, yata¤a düfltü. … hastaneye gitti, orada iki ay kald›. Doktor, “Bunu götürün” dedi.
Amcam›n çocu¤u da vard›, doktordu, yard›mc› oldu. Ama akraban›n insana ne faydas› var? Örne¤in,
amcam›n durumu çok iyi. Bir o¤lu doktor, bir o¤lu ö¤retmen, bir o¤lu memur; ama sonuçta, ben bu
yafl›ma gelmiflim, evini bile görmemiflim, ailesini bile görmemiflim. Örne¤in, bir tane amcam var, harita
mühendisi. Ama bana ne faydas› var? Bence, insan kendi ç›karlar› için yafl›yor. Babam öldükten sonra
iliflkilerimiz kesildi. Biz de gidip gelmedik…”
“…Bakamad›¤› için, yani maddi imkâns›zl›k… Aile, babaanne, anneye hiçbir flekilde yard›mc›
olmuyor. Mal varl›¤›n› hiçbir flekilde vermemek... Zaten her gün kavgalar. Zaten ben ilkokul ikiye
gitti¤imden beri her gün kavga duydum. Kaynana-gelin hiçbir zaman anlaflamad›. Halalar›mla da
anlaflam›yorlard›. Yani bir flekilde d›fll›yorlard›, anneme göre, halalar›ma göre de annem suçluydu. ….
Babam dedemin ilk o¤lu oldu¤u için, en çok babama ve dolay›s›yla bizlere önem verirdi. Bence bir
k›skançl›k krizine kap›ld›lar. … K›skançl›k bir sürü çirkin olaylara meydan veriyor. Ondan sonra
anneme flu lâf› ettiler, çok iyi hat›rl›yorum o konuyu: “Öküzümüz öldü, ortakl›k bitti, defol git!” Yedi
çocu¤un var... Daha sonra annem çocuklar›n›n ikisini … Yetifltirme Yurdu’na veriyor. … bir y›l sonra,
befl kardeflimizi... Bize soruyor, gitmek ister misiniz, diye. … Biz (köy)deyiz... Bir tane ev var... fiu var
ya, bunun kadar (oday› gösterir), iflte bu kadar bir alanda befl çocuk kal›yoruz. Tuvalet, banyo d›flar›da.
…”
-
Yoksul do¤dun yoksul mu öleceksin?
“… o zaman, askeriyenin s›navlar›n› kazanm›flt›m. O çok umutland›rd› beni, hepsinden birinci
olmufltum çünkü. Binbafl› dedi ki, “seni kesin al›yoruz” dedi. … ama olmad›, o da paras›zl›ktan olmad›.
… fiöyle: Ben kazand›m s›navlar›, belgem eksikti, onlar› yapabilmek için de paraya ihtiyac›m vard›, yani
nas›l desem, sicil kay›tlar›, …, muhtarl›¤a gittim, 10 milyon istedi art› 2 milyon istedi. Bende 500 bin
lira bile yoktu belki. Ben bunu belirttim yani. “Ben yuvadan geldim” dedim, anlatt›m durumumu, hiç
düflünmedi yani. “Ben de iflimi yap›yorum” dedi. Oysa ki flimdiki muhtar öyle birfley demedi. Gittim
yapt›rd›m, verdi hemen, para bile almad›. “Ya sen yurtta m› kal›yorsun, öz geçmiflin nedir?” hiç sormad›
bile. Ben onlara anlatt›¤›m halde, bir bayand›, yard›mc› olmad›. Binbafl›ya anlatt›m durumu. Telefon
açt›m dedim ki, “flu an benim imkan›m yok” dedim, “ben kazand›m ama” dedim “bunlar› yapabilmek
için de paraya ihtiyac›m var. Bunu da yapam›yorum alam›yorum yani kimseden.” A¤abeyimin maafl›na
5 gün var, gidip bir yerden borç alam›yor yani Ankara gibi bir yerde. Çünkü kimseyi tan›m›yoruz o
zaman. Gerçekten tan›m›yorduk. A¤abeyim çok zorland›, çok gücüne gitti.”
14
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
Yurt Çocuklar›
-
Herkes kendi yolundan yürüyüp gelir…
Çocuklar›n yurda girifl öyküleri birçok ortak özellik tafl›r, ama gelifl yafllar›na, gelifl nedenlerine,
gelifl kanallar›na göre büyük bir çeflitlilik de gösterir. Çocuklar›n gelifl öykülerine dair bilgileri, duygu
ve düflünceleri de birbirinden farkl›d›r. Örne¤in, birkaç ayl›k bebeklikten 16 yafl›na kadar farkl›l›k
gösteren dönemlerde yuvaya/yurda verilmifl ya da gelmifllerdir. Yoksulluk, anne ya da baba ölümü,
anne-baba ayr›l›¤›, üvey ana ya da üvey baba, zorunlu göç, e¤itim olanaklar›ndan yoksunluk, ensest gibi
çeflitli nedenler vard›r. Gelifl kanallar› çeflitlidir, küçük yerlerin insanlar›n birbirlerini ve yaflant›lar›n›
bilmeye imkan veren yap›s› çocuklar›n yurda gelifllerinde etkili olmaktad›r. Ço¤u zaman yoksullu¤un
boyutu, kimi zaman yaflanan fliddete tan›kl›k, bir ö¤retmenin, okul müdürünün, muhtar›n ya da imam›n
bu çocuklar›n bak›lmas› ve korunmas› için devreye girmesine yol açm›flt›r. Bu kifli bazen akrabalardan
biri, bir komflu, bazen de kaymakam, hatta jandarma komutan› olmufltur. Baban›n kendi talebi, annenin
akraba yönlendirmesi ile yurda baflvurmas› anlat›lanlar aras›ndad›r. Görüfltü¤ümüz genç k›zlardan ikisi,
kendisi baflvurarak yurda gelmifltir. Nas›l geldi¤ini hiç hat›rlamayan da vard›r, yuvan›n bahçesinde
oynarken b›rak›lan ya da nereye, neden gidece¤i kendisine anlat›larak gelen de…
• Her yaflfltta gelen var…
“Befl ayl›kken yuva …üç kardefliz. üçümüz birden köprü alt›na b›rak›lm›fl›z.”
“… 15 yafl›nda gittim. Bir kere köydeki ortamdan kurtulman›n sevinci de vard› ama…”
“Dört yafl›nda yuvaya girdim. 16 y›ld›r yurttay›m. … Annem, babam ayr›lm›fl, sürekli kavga
oldu¤undan dolay›. Annem, bakamad›¤› için bizi yurda verdi.”
“9 yafl›ndayd›m, annem öldü, bizi yurda verdiler yuvaya”
• Nedenler…
“… Annemin dedi¤ine göre bebekken iflte, iki yafl›nda falan girmiflim. ... babam vefat etmifl, bizi
kaymakam yurda b›rakm›fl, demifl “sen bakamazs›n”. ”
“12 yafl›nda falan …. Çocuk Yuvas›’na geldik. ‹lkokul üçten bafllad›m. Babam›n vefat›ndan sonra,
bizim aile durumumuzun iyi olmamas›ndan dolay› yurda verildik.”
“Babam öldü. … iki sene sonra, annem maddi yetersizlikten dolay› b›rakt›. Ve biz zaten köydeydik
o zaman, … Orada zaten s›k›nt›lar yafl›yorduk, babaannemler halamlar bizi biraz s›k›yorlard›. …. Bir de
biz kendimiz istedik, bir de okula gitmeyi de istiyorduk annemin belki okula gönderememe ihtimali çok
yüksekti. Yani köyde yaflamaktansa …. gittik yurda. …”
“Sekiz yafl›nda. 10 y›ld›r yurttay›m. … benim babam uyuflturucu ba¤›ml›s›yd›. Annemle babam
ayr›ld›, geçici olarak yurda gittik biz. Ondan sonra kald› öyle … Annem ikinci evlili¤ini yapt›ktan sonra
yine yurtta kalmaya devam ettik flimdiye kadar. …”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
15
“Annemle babam ayr›ld› iflte. Babam gitti, baflkas›yla evlendi, b›rakt› bizi. Annemle kald›k. O da
bakamay›nca yedi çocu¤a birden, bizi yurda verdi. ... Ben 4. s›n›fa gidiyordum; 10 yafl›nda m›, 11 yafl›nda
m› neydim. … Annem, ifli yok yani, köy kad›n›, cahil. Komflular falan yard›m ediyorlard›.”
“Bana söylenilen kadar›yla, iflte annem, fley, flizofreni. Baba, yani nas›l diyeyim, fley, gayr› meflru
oluyor. Yani öyle yaz›yor fleyde de, zaten defterde de. Sonra baba terk ediyor. Anne de mecburiyetten
b›rak›yor. Zaten kendi sorunlar› var onun. ‹flte üç ayl›kken b›rak›yor beni, … Beni hep hastaneden
görüyormufl, ama bu çok az, k›sa fleylerle, nas›l diyeyim... Ve onun kald›¤› bir ev de yokmufl;
hastaneden geliyormufl. Sonra, b›rakm›fl, birkaç ay daha sonra. Ondan sonra da hiç gelmemifl zaten. Ben
hiç hat›rlam›yorum. Öyle yani. Öyle diyorlar.”
• Yönlendirenler: Ö¤retmen, müdür, imam, muhtar…
“Dokuz kardefliz. Yetifltirme yurduna girmemizin nedeni, … okulda iyi ö¤rencilerdik diyebilirim.
Girmemizin nedeni, tabi üvey annemin etkisi de var, köyde kalmak istemiyorduk ve baflar›l› bir ö¤renci
oldu¤umuz için de bu fikir okul müdürümüzden kaynakland›. Okul müdürümüz bayand› ve annemin
ölümünde, ölümünden sonraki yaflad›klar›m›z›... Köy de küçük bir köy oldu¤u için her fley, okul
müdürümüz bizden biri gibi olmufltu, her fleyin fark›ndayd› ve babama bu fikri o söyledi ve birlikte
Sosyal Hizmetler ‹l Müdürlü¤ü’ne gitmifllerdi. Onun sayesinde böyle yurda geldik, diyebiliriz. (Gülerek)
Tabi bunda üvey annemin de etkisi var. Her zaman flükrediyorum tabi.”
“Befl k›z kardefliz. ‹mam›n deste¤iyle yurda gittim. Babam o¤lu yok diye, ben 3 yafl›ndayken komflu
köyden bir kad›nla kaçm›fl. Annemle zorla evlendirmifller. Annem muhtar›n beslemesi diye istememifl.
…”
“…1992 depremi Erzincan’da olmufltu. Oradan bir de bizim köyler boflalt›ld›. … Bizim köyde,
muhtar da tan›d›¤›ndan dolay›, yazm›flt›. Sonra vefat etti¤inden (babas›ndan söz ediyor) demiflti,
bunlar›n kimsesi yok diye yazm›flt›.”
• Nas›l geldi¤ini bilen de var, bilmeyen de…
“1,5 senedir yurttay›m. Yat›l› okulda pansiyonda kal›yordum. fiöyle anlatay›m. ‹lk zamanlar
anneannemlerin evinde kal›yorduk, çok küçükken. Sonra annem b›rak›p gitmifl bizi. Sonra ben s›navlara
girdim, … kazand›m, yat›l› okula gittim. Yat›l› okulda kald›m ama sürekli benden küçük iki kardeflimle
irtibattayd›m. 4-5 sene göremedim onlar›, ama ikisiyle de görüfltüm. Sonra ortaokul bitti, liseye geçtim.
… O iki sene içinde babam›n yan›ndayd›m, ama babam›n yan›nda da kalmad›m. Kaymakama bildirdim
durumu; “Ben orda kalmak istemiyorum. okumak istiyorum, ama ailem beni okutmak istemiyor” diye
falan. Babam okutmak istemiyordu bizi. … Sürekli kavga ediyorduk zaten. Babaannemler bizi
istemiyorlard›. Babam çal›flm›yordu.”
“… Annemin hastaneye gitmesi laz›md›, babam da cezaevine girdi, ikisi de yoktu yani yan›m›zda.
Biz evde tek bafl›m›zayd›k. Kardeflimi köydeki yengem ald›, onlar bakt›. Bize de komflular›m›z falan
yard›m ediyordu. Sonra, babam söylemiflti, o bizi yuvaya koymak istemifl, yaz› yazd›rm›fl hapisten
dolay›, biz iflte okula geldiler, a¤abeyimle beni ald›lar iflte, yuvaya getirdiler.”
16
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
“Annem, 10 kardefliz, son kardeflimi do¤ururken hastayd›, kanser gibi birfleydi, öldü, Daha sonra
çok kötü günler geçirdik, sahipsizdik, ortada kalm›flt›k. Ablam 12 yafl›ndayd›, o bize bak›yordu,
sürekli o bize bakt›, bizim annemiz oldu. Di¤er ablam da iki kardeflim için okumad›. A¤abeyim de 1314 yafl›nda bize bak›yordu. Yani babamla zaten görüflmüyorduk, yani bize bakm›yordu, sahipsiz
sahipsizdik. … Ondan sonra yurda gittik. Ben 9-10 yafl›ndayd›m. Kardefllerim de gitti.”
“Gözümü açt›¤›mda yurttayd›m, bilmiyorum, hat›rlam›yorum. … süt emmeden gitmiflim yani”
“92’de (9 yafl›nda) Erzincan depreminden sonra, yani 1 ay sonra, belki de gün geçmifltir, biz
yuvada kendimizi bulduk. Bize dediler ki, sizi gezmeye falan götürüyoruz. Biz babam›z› çok seviyorduk,
ayr›lm›yorduk. Sizi gezmeye götürüyoruz falan dediler, bizi b›rak›p gittiler. O flekil oldu, daha nereye
geldik bilmiyorduk.”
-
Aileden kopma ac›s›: Al›flflm
mak zaman ister…
Görüflme s›ras›nda kat›l›mc›lar›m›z en fazla yuvaya/yurda al›flma dönemi öykülerini anlatmakta
zorland›lar. O ilk günlerdeki a¤lamalar bir anlamda tekrarland›; duygusal anlar yafland›, görüflmeler s›k
s›k kesildi…
“…‹lk verildi¤imizde oras› yabanc› falan geldi. ‹lk akflamlar› çok a¤l›yorduk, üzülüyorduk, ama
ondan sonra al›flm›flt›k iflte. Öyle, hep hasret vard›, özlem vard›.”
“…Çok a¤lam›flt›m, sürekli a¤l›yordum. Annemi çok özlüyordum o zaman. Bir annem için
üzülmüfltüm. Sonra, bir müddet sonra, geçmiflti.”
“‹lk bafllarda a¤l›yordum, “Kendimi öldüreyim, yeter art›k. Eve gitmek istiyorum” diyordum. Bir de
babas›zl›¤› ilk defa görüyorsun. Baz› konularda anne her fleye destek olur, baba fazla destek olmaz. Baba
birfley yapm›yor ki, uzaktan izliyor, eve para getiriyor, b›rak›p gidiyor, sevgi bile göstermiyor; ama yine
sonuçta baba, yine çocuklar›na karfl› bir sevgi ve ba¤l›l›k var. Kendimizi kötü hissettik, a¤lad›k; ama
yavafl yavafl al›flmaya bafllad›k, ortama ayak uydurduk.”
“…kendimi böyle d›fllanm›fl gibi hissediyordum, sürekli a¤l›yordum. Zaten ilk gün akl›mdan gitmez
de… A¤l›yordum hep, bahçede dolafl›yordum, iflte ö¤retmenler geliyordu, teselli ediyordu: ”Buras› daha
iyi, annen gelecek” falan. Sanki ben bilmiyormuflum gibi… pek fazla sürmedi. Anlad›m zaten yani
yurdun daha iyi oldu¤unu. Bilerek geldim çünkü. D›flar›dan bize anlatt›lar, iflte böyle böyle, oraya
giderseniz meslek sahibi olursunuz, durumunuz daha iyi olur, diye. O yüzden hemencecik geçti. Sadece
o ailemden kopma ac›s›yd› san›r›m.”
“…(babas›ndan söz ediyor) Meselâ bizi yurda b›rak›rken h›çk›ra h›çk›ra a¤lad›. O a¤lay›fl›n› hiç
unutamam ve üç gün boyunca o a¤lay›fl› hiç gözümüzün önünden gitmedi. Biz de a¤lad›k. Çünkü iki
tane k›z›n› getiriyor Erzincan’a, k›zlar› da hiçbir yeri bilmiyorlar... Yani deseniz, “Erzincan neresi?” belki
haritada yerini görmüflümdür, “Erzurum’un yan›nda” diyebilirdim, o kadar bilebilirdim.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
-
17
Yurt çocu¤u “devletin çocu¤u”, aileyse “hayali ve s›cak bir yuva”
Projeye kat›lan genç k›zlar, yuvalara, yurtlara gelifllerindeki gibi, ülkenin çeflitli yerlerinden
geldiler. Nas›l birbirlerinden farkl› ama yoksulluklar› ortak ise, gelifl nedenleri farkl› ama aileleri
taraf›ndan bak›lamayan ve korunamayan çocuklar olufllar› da ortakt›. Geldikleri yerlerde b›rakt›klar›
çocuklardan farklar›n› “daha iyi yemekler yiyoruz, daha iyi giyiniyoruz, okula gidebiliyoruz”,
“özgürüm” diye anlatt›lar. Kendilerine “devletin çocuklar›” dediler. Ama 18 yafl›ndan sonras› için çok
kayg›land›klar›n› s›kça dile getirerek, devletin çocu¤u olman›n s›n›rlar›n› da çiziyorlard›. Ayr›ca, ailenin
çocu¤u olman›n da baz› üstünlükleri vard›. Okuldaki, yurttan olmayan çocuklar, “ev ortam›ndan gelenler”di. ‹ki genç k›z d›fl›nda, hepsi ailelerinden ya da ailelerinden birilerinden söz etti. “Aile” yurtta
yaflarken eksikli¤ini duyduklar› fleylerle tan›mlan›yordu adeta… Bu tariflerde hep anne, baba, sevgi,
flefkat, ilgi, s›cakl›k vard›. Oysa anlatt›klar› aile içi yaflant›larla tarif ettikleri aile ço¤unlukla örtüflmüyordu.
“En iyi yönü beni bar›nd›rmas›, en kötü yan› da bizimle birfleyleri paylaflmamalar›yd›.”
“Yurtta kalman›n güzel yanlar› da var, kötü yanlar› da var. Ö¤retmenler anlay›fll› olsa çok güzel olur;
ama …, seni anlamazsa, seni hep terslerse ve sana bask› yaparsa, bunal›ma girersin, sevginin eksikli¤ini
baflka fleylerde arars›n.”
“Köydeki k›zlar bana özenirler. Özgürüm, çok yere gidip geldim. Benim gibi olmak isterler çok.
Annem bize güvenir. Yoksa böyle olmazd›.”
“…onlar ailelerinin yan›ndalar daha mutlular, örne¤in onlar gelip gidiyor, onlar iflte diyor
babamla buraya gittim, fluraya gittim. Biz de yurtta sadece … yurttaki hocalar›m›z bize karfl›
ilgisizlerdi. Bizim sadece bir avantaj›m›z vard›r onlardan belki, hani onlardan daha iyi yemekler yiyoruz,
daha iyi giyiniyoruz; ama anne, sevgi yani sevgi eksikli¤i var.”
“… yuva ortam› da güzeldi asl›nda, arkadafllar›m vard›. Güzel ama … Mesela, ev ortam›ndan gelen
arkadafllar›m›z daha farkl›, gelip annen baban var m› diye, bir ayr›m var, onun üzerine birfley söyleme
imkan›m›z yok, yurtta kal›yoruz, yuvada kal›yoruz. Bir flekilde, ne bileyim, üzülüyorsun, bazen
a¤l›yorsun…”
“Ö¤retmenlerimizle aram›z çok iyi. Yani anne baba kadar da olmasa, yine de çok iyi; ama ben
annemle babamla paylaflamad›¤›m fleyleri onlarla paylafl›yorum.”
-
Herkesin aile iliflflk
kisi kendine…
Kat›l›mc›lar›m›z›n ço¤u anne, baba ya da kardeflleri ile iliflkilerini sürdürüyor. Aile iliflkileri
sevdikleri ve sevmedikleri, güvendikleri ve güvenmedikleri yak›nlarla çeflitli. Ve anlatt›klar›, gelece¤e
yönelik aile desteklerinin s›n›rl›l›¤›n› yans›t›yor.
“Annem kardefllerimle çok ba¤l›y›z, çünkü baflka kimsemiz yok. … Dedemler flimdi köye döndü,
bizi istiyor …; yani onlara bakal›m diye. Annem eksik etek, bizi b›rak›p evlenmedi, her iflimizi yapt›,
hiçbir erke¤e muhtaç olmad›k.”
18
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
“…kesinlikle annem bir hafta yok bir hafta mutlaka yan›m›zdayd›.”
“Babam çocuklar›na çok düflkündür, sever, duygusal bir adamd›r .. telefonda falan konuflurken
bizim onu … onun bizi düflündü¤ünü falan biliyoruz ama, yani babam hiçbir zaman öyle bir sar›l›p da....
Belki de orada, (Do¤u’da bir flehirde) oluflundan veya oradaki toplumdan gelen birfley. …”
“…babam al›yordu bizi, sürekli bizi görmeye geliyordu iflte, amcam da geliyordu ilk bafllarda öyle,
babam sürekli geliyordu her Pazar, ilk gitti¤imizde zaten iki günde bir falan geliyordu.”
“Annemle hep görüfltüm. 16 yafl›ndan sonra a¤abeyimle, ikizimle, amcam ve day›lar›mla tan›flt›m.
Sonra teyzemle. Babam yeni ç›kt› piyasaya. Art›k büyüdüm, o da bakt›racak kendini. ‹stemiyorum,
flimdiye kadar neredeyse orada kals›n, isterse sokakta kals›n.”
“Kardefllerle iliflkim iyi, ama herkes kendi düzenini kurdu. Biri d›fl›nda hepsi evli, birbirimizi aray›p
soruyoruz. … hem annem bafl›m›zda diye düflünüyorlar, hem de herkesin kendi yükü var. Üvey ablam
bizle çok ilgilendi. Öz ablam zengin, ama bizi hiç aray›p sormaz. Babamdan tarlalar kald›, hala
mahkemeleri sürüyor. Yurtd›fl›ndalar ve zenginler. Beni merak etmiyorlar. Tan›mak istemediler.”
“…a¤abeyim her ay gelip bizi görürdü, izni vard› Cuma, Cumartesi, Pazar falan. … bayramlarda
olsun ilgileniyordu yani.”
“Hafta sonlar› izne gidiyordum. ... Telefon etti¤imiz zaman gelip görüyorlard›.”
“Yaz tatillerinde annem istedi¤i için giderdim. … Bir y›ld›r yurttan ayr›ld›m. Evde annem, babam
ve ben kal›yoruz. Babamdan nefret ediyorum..”
“Ben onlar› ayda bir kere belki arar›m, onlar da beni ar›yorlar ayda 2-3 defa. Çok s›k de¤il ama yine
de düzenli ar›yorlar, konufluyoruz. Yazlar› tatile gidiyordum, bu sene gitmedim 15 tatilinde, bayramlarda
her zaman gidiyordum.”
“…tatillerde gidip geliyordum. Karne tatilleri, bayram tatilleri falan, izinli gönderirlerdi bizi. Biz de
gidiyorduk. Almaya gelirdi annem. Sonradan yurda al›fl›nca, insan›n gidesi gelmiyordu arkadafllarla.
Yurt bizi zorla bindiriyordu. Böylece gidiyorduk.”
“…babam› befl alt› ay öncesine kadar ilk defa gördüm. … gittim onu görebilmek için. Bilinçsizdim
yani gitti¤imde. O kadar güzel konufluyordu ki... Telefonda konufltum. … ‹lk defa sesini duydum. 24
yafl›nday›m, ilk defa sesini duydum ve ilk defa kendisini gördüm. Resmini bile görmemifltim hiç..”
“Aile iliflkilerim hiç yok. Yurda da hiç gelmediler. Babam ölmüfl, hiç bilmiyorum. Ablam, a¤abeyim
ve kardefllerimle telefonda görüflüyorum. Ablam bir y›ld›r … yurtta misafir, kardefllerim de yurtta
kal›yorlar. 4 anne, 4 baba evlili¤inden 16 kardefliz. 7’si öz kardefliz. Di¤er hiçbir akrabam› tan›m›yorum.”
“… annem de mesela, yan›na gidiyorum hafta sonu ya da hafta içi bofl zamanlar›mda. Ara s›ra diyor
“sen” diyor” ne zaman” diyor “büyüyeceksiniz art›k” diyor “bana bakacaks›n›z”. Ben içimden
gülüyorum ama yani d›fl›mdan da sinirleniyorum; çünkü yani hiçbir emek sarf etmiyor … yani normalde
annelik görevini yapm›yor zaten. Kardefllerimin annesi benmiflim gibi. Zaten kardeflim, bakmak
zorunday›m.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
19
“…annem, babaannem yani babaannemler bizi sevmeseler de ar›yorlar, yani ç›karlar› için. …hani
sanki biz büyüdükçe onlar bize sanki muhtaç kalm›fl gibi. Biz onlara bakacak duruma geliyoruz ya… Bir
de miras konular›m›z var, … babam öldü, dedem öldü. … flimdi bizim bütün mallar›m›z› zaten onlar
kullan›yorlar ve o yüzden san›r›m.”
“…‹flte ailemiz arard› bizi “Biz flu gün gelece¤iz” derlerdi, öyle gelirlerdi. Çok s›k da de¤il yani.
Senede bir sefer, iki sefer belki. ... Yani üvey babam annemi öyle pek fazla yollamazd› bizim yan›m›za.
‹nekleri falan vard› “Kim bakacak?” gibisinden.”
“15 yafl›nda eczanede çal›flmaya bafllad›m. ‹ntihara kalk›flm›flt›m. Beni eczaneye verdiler. “‹flte
ilaçlar”, dediler. Hayat, bazen flu tokay› kafan›za taksam çok a¤›r gelir ya. (Elindeki küçücük tokay›
gösteriyordu.) öyle olmufltu. Biz yurt çocuklar›, yurttayken de ailemizin sorunlar›n› yafl›yoruz.”
-
‹kame duygular: “Kimsesizlik ve sahipsizlik” yerine “birbirine sahip ç›kma”…
Aile iliflkileri ne olursa olsun, yurt çocuklar›na bir kimsesizlik, bir sahipsizlik hali gelip gidiyor.
Birbirine sahip ç›kmak da bu hali aflmakta önemli bir güç olmufl gözüküyor.
“… hiç ayr›lm›yorduk, çünkü baflka kimsemiz yoktu ki… herkesle hemencecik de kaynaflam›yorduk
zaten. Çocuklar hani ilk gitti¤imizde … d›fll›yorlar falan. Hiç ayr›lm›yorduk. Bir yatma zaman›.
Erkenden kalk›yorduk zaten. Sürekli üçümüz dolafl›yorduk. Ondan sonra ayr›ld›k zaten”
“…iflte yani resmen yani sahipsiz sahipsizdik yani babam zaten ilgilenmiyordu bizimle ailemiz zaten
ilgilenmiyordu annem öldükten sonra kendimiz, yani ci¤erlerini kaybettikleri için biz umurlar›nda
de¤ildik.”
“…Biz yurt çocuklar›, hepimizi ‹stanbul’da ayr› bir yere da¤›tsalar, yine birbirimizi buluruz. Ayn›
kaderi paylaflmaktan birbirimize sahip ç›kmay› ö¤renmifliz. Birimize zarar gelse, hepimiz birbirimize
sahip ç›kar›z. Ama, birbirimize zarar da verebiliriz, mesela, döveriz. O zaman kimse kar›flmaz. D›flar›dan
biri dövse herkes kar›fl›r oysa.”
-
Toplumla iliflflk
kiler sanc›l›, ac›l›, s›n›rl›…
Aileleri ile yar› bar›fl›k yar› küs yaflayan yurt çocuklar› devletle de benzer bir iliflki kurmufl
görünüyorlar. Toplumla iliflkileri ise, daha ac›l›, küskünlükleri daha derin, daha bir kal›c›laflm›fl. Bir gün
tam içinde yaflamak zorunda kalacaklar› toplum, onlara sahip ç›kmayan, aksine d›fllayan, önyarg›l›,
suçlamaya haz›r, en az›ndan tan›mak bile istemeyen… Bu öyle korkutucu bir hal ki, k›zlar için
toplumsal hayata kat›lmak adeta ertelenen bir faaliyete dönüflebiliyor. Ya da, arkadafllarla gezip
tozmaktan evlili¤e her türlü iliflkiyi s›n›rl› tutmak, hatta kendini saklayarak iliflki kurmak. tercih edilir
hale gelebiliyor. Yurt çocu¤u olmaktan gurur duydu¤unu söyleyenler bile “önce beni tan›s›nlar, sonra
söylerim” derken, yurt çocu¤unun toplumda mevcut önyarg›larla bafl etme stratejisini de anlat›yorlar.
Ayr›ca, yurt çocu¤u olman›n “kimsesizlik” olarak alg›lanmas›n›n onlar› hangi tehlikelere daha aç›k hale
getirdi¤ini düflünüyor ve bu stratejiyi bir korunma yöntemi olarak da uyguluyorlar. Bazen de, kendileri
için bir sorun saymad›klar› halde, ifle girmifl, evlenmifl kardefllerin düzenlerini olumsuz etkileyece¤inden
20
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
çekindikleri için yurt çocu¤u olduklar›n› söylemeyi erteliyorlar. Toplumla iliflkilerdeki sorunlar›n
istihdamdaki uzant›lar› da ayr›ca önemli.
“…birazc›k insanlar d›fll›yorlard›. ‹flte “yurt çocu¤u” falan diyorlard›. Hep çekindim yani;
ilkokulda çekindim, lisede çekindim, ortaokulda çekindim... küçük düflürmeyi amaçl›yorlard›.
‹nsanlardan çok çekiniyordum. ... Yani burnumu bile silemezdim yani, o kadar çekinirdim.”
“‹nsanlar hemen önyarg›yla yaklafl›yorlar. Neyin ne olup olmad›¤›n› bilmeden… O yüzden hayat
felsefem, insanlara önyarg›yla yaklaflmamakt›r.”
“Yurt çocu¤u olman›n… bize bazen böyle kötü gözle …yok yurt çocuklar› flöyle yap›yor yurt
çocuklar› böyle yap›yor. Bizi kötümsüyorlar. Hani mesela, bir insanla arkadafll›k kursam bile ben yurt
çocu¤uyum diye benimle evlenmek istemez. Bu benim bafl›ma geldi. ”Sen yurt çocu¤usun, seninle
evlenilmez … evlenemem” dedi. Dedim, “Neden?”. “‹flte benim ailem kabul etmez.” En kötüsü bu iflte.
… seni d›fll›yorlar. … bu yüzden yani, arkadafll›¤›m›n bitti¤i oldu iki defa...”
“… Kimse bilemiyor. Herkesin anlatt›klar›m› anlayamayaca¤›n› bildi¤im için yetifltirme yurdundan
oldu¤umu söylemiyorum yani. Yoksa utanm›yorum; gurur duyuyorum. … Beni tan›madan önyarg›l›
davranacaklard›. … Belki farkl› bir bak›fl aç›lar› olacakt›. Ama beni tan›d›lar, yani nas›l bir kifli
oldu¤umu, yani belki kötü al›flkanl›klar›m›n olmad›¤›n› gördüler... Ne bileyim. …’da erkek arkadafl›
olup, gidip pastanede oturunca -tamam, böyle fleyler do¤al ama- biz yurttan oldu¤umuz için, “Bak
görüyor musun, erkeklerle geziyorlar yurdun k›zlar›.” oluyor. ... Yani, bu gözle bak›yorlar. Biz bunu
hiçbir zaman yenemedik. …O yüzden hep sak›n›yordum...Erkeklerin de bizim k›zlara olan bak›fl aç›lar›
farkl›yd› asl›nda...”
“…niflanl›mla ailesi aras›nda bir sürtüflme gidip gelmeler oldu da en sonunda iflte kabul ettirdi. ...
yurtta kalmam biraz problem yaratt› yani. belki duymuflsunuz yurtta kalanlar›n genelde biraz, biraz
de¤il de ad›n› ç›kar›yorlar, … hepimiz ayn› kefeye konuyoruz. O yüzden biraz problem yaratt›. Acaba,
düflünüyorum, ileriki hayat›mda yine problem yarat›r m› diye.”
- “Yurt çocu¤u” s›fat›n›n yükünü kim kald›racak?
“…fizik hocam, benim üzerimde çok eme¤i vard›r, “ya kurtul art›k flu psikolojiden, sen art›k
yurttan ç›kt›n, hani sen art›k bir ifle gireceksin, evin olacak, bir düzenin olacak”, diyor. “Hocam”, dedim,
“biz hiçbir zaman kurtulamay›z; biz böyle geldik böyle gidece¤iz.” Her zaman yurt arkadafllar›m olacak,
yani yurtla ba¤lant›m kesilmeyecek, diye düflünüyorum.”
“…‹nsanlar›n yan›nda yürüdü¤üm zaman diyorlar ki: ‘Bak, yurt çocu¤u!’. Aln›mda yazm›yor hiçbir
flekilde, nerden anl›yorlar bilmiyorum. O flekilde beni çok a¤›r hissettiriyor.”
“Hep ayn› çevre. Ve hepsi seni yuva çocu¤u olarak biliyor. Ve ben bundan çok rahats›zl›k duydum.
Ve bunlar› bir türlü k›ramad›m. Yani kendi fleylerimi aflamad›m ki onlara da bunlar› anlatabileyim…”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
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21
K›zlar için yurdun alternatifi: okulsuzluk, erken evlenme,çok çocuk…
“Yurt çocu¤u olmasayd›m flu an annem beni evlendirmifl olacakt›. Kim bilir belki de iflsiz, güçsüz,
cahil insan eline düflüp de belki –flu an yirmi yafl›nday›m da- on tane çocu¤um olacakt›. Ne bileyim,
geçimsizlik, belki fliddet... O fleyleri düflünmek bile istemiyorum yani. E¤itimsiz olacakt›m, belki okula
bile gidemeyecektim, çevre nedir bilmeyecektim, e¤itim nedir bilmeyecektim. Ayn› flekilde benim
çocuklar›m da ortada kalacakt› yani.”
“…belki baflka bir yerde olacakt›k flu anda, ailemizin yan›nda, ama iyi ki yurttay›m diyorum. Yurtta
olmasam bu imkanlar›n hiçbirini sa¤layamazd›m, flükrediyorum murad›ma. Okul okumama fleyim
vard›. E¤er, ya annem de söylüyor,” e¤er sizi yurda vermeseydik flu anda Allah bilir ne yap›yordunuz,
eve gidip bahçelerde çal›fl›yordunuz köyde”. Do¤ru söylüyor yani...”
“13 yafl›ndayken gittim. … Yurda verilmeseydim, belki o yaflta evlenmifltim. Çok kötü halde
olacakt›m, okuma-yazmam bile olmayacakt›.”
“… Çok flükrediyordum. Çünkü köyde kalm›fl olsayd›k belki bu nimetlerin fark›na fazla
varamayacakt›k. Hayat görüflümüz daha farkl› olacakt›. Fazla bilgi edinemeyecektik.”
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Yurdun imkanlar› aileninkilerden hayal kadar uzakta…
“Birçok kifliden de daha avantajl› durumday›z yani. Biz okula gitti¤imizde bizim defterimiz,
kitab›m›z, formam›z, her fleyimiz tam tak›m yerindeydi ama olmayan da vard›, kitab› olmayan vard›
yani. Arkadafl›m›za veriyorduk, biz ... birlikte, ortak kullan›yorduk. Harçl›¤›m›z vard›. Bizim okula
köyden gelen ö¤renciler çok oluyordu ama bizim maddî aç›dan da iyiydi yani. Fazla bir harçl›¤›m›z
yoktu ama lise maafl› o zaman 20 milyondu … iyiydi, yetiyordu…”
“… 7 kardefltik 4 kifli yurda girdi. Di¤erlerini erken yaflta babam evlendirmifl, ondan dolay› onlar
yararlanamad›lar… Ama çok sevdik oray›, gerçekten çok sevdik. Yani köy ortam› farkl›. Bildik ki
kendimizi gelifltirece¤iz, iyi fleylere sahip olaca¤›z. Belki aile olmayaca¤›z ama zaten anne yoktu. Anne
olmad›¤› için biz farkl› büyüdük. Yani elimize hiç para geçmezdi, orada geçti. Biz judoya gidemezdik,
sosyal hayat nedir bilmezdik, ders çal›flamazd›k, bunlar›n hiçbirini yapamazd›k. Önümüze yemek
gelmezdi, biz kendimiz yapard›k o küçük yaflta. Bunlar› gördük çok rahatlad›k yani…”
“Lise 1-2-3’ü yurtta okudum. K›z kardeflimle gittik. Sonraki y›l öbür k›z kardeflim de geldi. Liseyi
okumaktan çok sevinçliydim. … Harçl›klar›m›z› anneme verirdik. Staj paralar›m›z› da anneme verdik.”
“…Bir de ne zaman annem gelse paras›z oluyordu. Yurttan bana maafl veriliyor, mesela, 20 milyon
al›yorsam ben, iflte 15’ini anneme veriyordum. Yat›r›m yap›yordum sanki. ‹flte ne bileyim yurtta ya¤,
reçel da¤›t›l›r ya hani, bir ara anneme onlar› biriktiriyordum. Yar›m poflet dolusu eve götürüyordum
falan. …”
“…sabah kalkt›¤›mda bazen, haftada 2 kere en az, kofluyordum. … beden e¤itimi bölümünde
yetenek s›nav› var ya, birazc›k kondisyonumu ilerletmeye çal›fl›yordum. … Çünkü okul bitti okulda
e¤itim görüyorduk biraz. Sabahlar› 1 saat kofluyordum iflte, denize gidiyordum, geliyordum dufl
al›yordum, kahvalt› daha olmam›fl oluyordu zaten, kahvalt› yapt›ktan sonra da bazen d›flar› ç›k›yordum,
gezmeye, genellikle yurttayd›m, denize gidiyoruz zaten haftada 2 gün..”
22
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
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Yurt mücadeleci yapar, ama ekme¤in fiyat›n› ö¤retmez…
Yaflamlar›n› sürdürebilecekleri bilgi ve beceriyi kazanmaya yard›mc› olacak sorumluluklar›n
verilmesi yerine neredeyse tüm maddi ihtiyaçlar›n haz›r sunulmas›na dayal› olan kurum yaflam›,
kurumdan ayr›ld›ktan sonra zorluklar yaflanmas›na neden oluyor. Projemizin kat›l›mc›s› genç k›zlar,
görüflmelerimizde, yurt hayat›n›n “ayakta kalmay›”, “mücadele etmeyi” ö¤retti¤ini ama fatura yat›rmak,
ekme¤in fiyat› gibi gündelik yaflam›n gerektirdi¤i fleyleri ö¤retmedi¤ini anlatt›lar. 18 yafl›n›
tamamlay›nca olacaklar, yani yurttan sonraki hayat, hem bu aç›dan haz›r olmad›klar›, hem de e¤itim ve
istihdam aç›s›ndan yeterince haz›rlanmad›klar› korkutucu birfley, adeta bir karabasand›. “Baflka gidecek
bir yer yok” sözüyle anlat›lan bu kabusta, her türlü tehlikeye aç›kl›k ve telafisi güç çok ciddi sorunlar
yaflamak da var. Anlat›mlar, yurtlardaki uygulamalar›n standart ve birbirinin ayn› olmad›¤›n›, baz›
yerlerde k›zlara yönelik sosyal koruman›n daha uzun süre sürdürüldü¤ünü gösteriyor.
“Yurttan ç›k›nca ne yapaca¤›z, sudan ç›km›fl bal›¤a dönece¤iz”
“…ben hayattan korkuyorum hocam yani. fiimdiye kadar hep yurtlarda kald›m. Domatesin kilosu
ne kadar, ekme¤in fiyat› ne kadar, onu bile bilmiyorum yani. Hep haz›r yedik, haz›r içtik. Art›k öyle
birfley ki, ‘Paras›z bile kalsam, ben nerelere baflvuraca¤›m’ diyorum...”
“Keflke diyorum hep kalsayd›m da hiç ç›kmasayd›m. Çünkü insanlarla u¤raflmas› çok zor. 20
yafl›nda biri, hayat› bilmedi¤im için ortada kalakald›m. … Tek bafl›ma yapamad›m. Ben 5-6 ay kadar
yaln›z kald›m, hatta otobüste çal›flt›m. ‹nsanlar sürekli senden faydalanmaya çal›fl›yorlar, birfleyler
koparmaya çal›fl›yorlar. Ne bileyim, sürekli sarkmaya çal›fl›yorlar. Mesela, evlili¤imde ayn› flekilde, ben
hiç mesela, aile ortam›na girmedim, mutfakta nas›l yemek yap›l›r bilmem. Çünkü benim hep haz›r
önüme geliyor… ben bulafl›k bile y›kam›yorum. Bana anlay›fl hiç göstermediler; özellikle kay›nvalidem
…. Sürekli beni d›fllad›. .. Dedi ki “Sen yemek bilmiyorsun, yapm›yorsun, sen buray› toplam›yorsun, iflte
sen çörek yapam›yorsun”, iflte flöyle iflte böyle. Ve ben bunlar› zaman içinde ö¤renirdim. Ya ö¤rendim
de zaten, ben yemek yapmas›n› biliyorum. Malzemesi olduktan sonra ne var ki? Açar›m kitab›, yine
yapar›m yani. Ama sürekli d›fllad› beni kay›nvalidem. Kay›nvalidem d›fllay›nca, eflim zaman zaman o
tarafa küstü. Çok problemler yaflad›m ben. …”
“…‹yi ki yurda gitmiflim. Mücadele etmesini biliyorum. Kendi ayaklar›m›n üstünde olmas›n›
ö¤rendim. Yani iflte, zaman› gelince kendimi koruyabiliyorum. Mesela, evdeki çocuklar pek öyle
de¤iller. Hani, sald›rganl›k gibi birfley de¤il de, hani biri birfley söyleyince üste ç›k›yordum. Mesela,
hakk›mda yorum yap›nca, “Hay›r bu böyle de¤il, flöyle.”, yani kendimi rahatl›kla savunuyordum. …
Küçük yaflta çok çok olgunlaflt›m. Yani di¤er çocuklar gibi iflte top oynayamad›m, oyun oynayamad›m,
parka gidemedim. Ona çok üzülüyorum. Yani ben çocuklu¤umu hiç yaflayamad›m. Ya o benim içimde
kald›. Hala çok üzülüyorum. …”
“… Bana kesin bir zaman vermifl olsalard›, mesela, “flu zamanda ç›k›yorsun, ona göre kendini
ayarla” deselerdi o zaman en az›ndan neler yapabilece¤imi ö¤renir, yapard›m. Ama bu flekilde de¤ildi.
Bir hafta sonra ç›k›yorsun, bir hafta sonra. Her fleyi ona göre ayarl›yorsun, valizini topluyorsun...”
“Onlar›n demesine gerek yok, yafl›m dolmufl art›k, biliyordum atacaklar›n›, onlar demeden ben
gittim, çünkü herkese öyle yap›yorlar….”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
23
“Reflit olanlara, “bir an önce ç›k›n” diyorlar. Ben de ilk sene s›n›fta kalm›flt›m … Bana diyorlard›,
“Git, bir an önce git, hadi. Burada niye duruyorsun? Burada durman›n ne amac› var? Sen burada s›n›fta
kalm›fls›n.” … Ben, okulum bitti¤i gibi, bana dediler, eflyalar›n› topla, toplad›¤›n gibi yurttan ç›k. Ben
de, art›k kayd›m› da sildiler, kalamazd›m.”
“… her yurt ayn› de¤il. Örne¤in, … K›z Yurdu’nda benim iki k›z kardeflim kal›yor. Onlar istedi¤i
yafla kadar kalabiliyorlar, aile durumuna göre. Bizim yurtta ise öyle de¤il; reflit olduktan, yafl›n›
doldurduktan sonra ç›kar›yorlar. … Bak›yorum, ….’deki arkadafllar›m›z bu kurstalar. Onlar reflit
olmalar›na ra¤men hala yurtta kal›yorlar. Ama biz... “
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‹yi ya da kötü iz b›rakanlar: Yurt çal›flflaanlar›
Yurt personelinin tutum ve davran›fllar› genç k›zlar üzerinde olumlu ya da olumsuz, ama mutlaka
etki yap›yor. Görüflmelerde yurtlarda görevli personelle ilgili çeflitli fleyler anlatt›lar. Biz de biliyoruz ki,
SHÇEK’te iflini çok iyi, özveriyle yapan insanlar var; çocuklar›n geliflimlerinde katk›s› olan, zor
dönemleri geçirmelerinde onlara destek veren bu personel, ayn› zamanda genç k›zlara “örnek” oluyor.
Ne yaz›k ki, k›zlar›n sevgi sözcükleriyle anlatt›¤› bu insanlar›n yan› s›ra, çeflitli biçimlerde ve boyutlarda
fliddet uygulayan, çocuk ve gençlerin hayatlar›n› kabusa çeviren yurt çal›flanlar›yla karfl›laflanlar da
olmufl.
“Önceleri sosyal hizmet uzman›m›z vard›. Onu çok idealize etmifltim. Çocuklarla iliflkisi ve
çözümleri beni etkilemiflti. Onun o hali hiçbir zaman beynimden ç›kmaz ve de¤iflmez. Sizi de bu
nedenle önemsiyorum. Demek ki sosyal hizmet uzmanlar› çok insanc›l diye düflünüyorum.”
“‹flte, “Bu k›z yurttan” falan diyorlard›. Onlar bizi üzüyordu aç›kças› ama, ben yurtta kald›¤›m için
çok mutluyum. Her fleyiyle çok güzeldi. Yani disiplin aç›s›ndan da... Müdürümüz çok kaliteli bir
insand›. Karakter olarak olsun, bizimle ilgilenmesi olsun... Her türlü yönüyle onu kendime örnek
ald›m.”
“Yurtta bir hemfliremiz vard›; özgürdü, çal›fl›yordu, evi, ifli, arabas›, paras› vard›. Kimseye bakmak
zorunda de¤ildi. Yurdun yar›s› O’na özenirdik. Tam bir ifl kad›n›yd›. Sert bir yap›s› vard›.”
“… yuvada kal›rken … çocuk geliflimcimiz … fley yapm›flt›, f›r›n› iyi silmemifltim diye f›r›n›
yalatt›rm›flt› bana. Ama kendisi çok iyi görünen bir insand›, bilmiyorum,… demek ki insanlar da
de¤iflebiliyor. fiey olmufltu art›k bende, insanlara güvenmemeyi örne¤in ben kimseye güvenmem, hiç
kimseye güvenmem.”
K›z Çocuklar›
Onlar gencecik k›z ve kad›nlar, birkaç› hariç hepsi bekard›. ‹ki hamile, bir-ikisi çocuklu evlimiz,
bir-iki de çocuksuz evlimiz vard›. Kat›l›mc›lar›m›z, u¤rad›klar› haks›zl›k ve ayr›mc›l›klar› k›z do¤mufl
olmalar›yla çok az, yurt çocuklu¤u ve kimsesizlikle çok çok iliflkilendirdiler. Ama, k›z olman›n
“s›n›rland›r›lmak” oldu¤unu, ayn› yurttakilerin birbirleri, yurttan ayr›lanlar›n aileleri ya da baflka
24
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
yak›nlar› taraf›ndan kontrol edildiklerini, “her yere s›¤amaman›n” hayatlar›n› nas›l zorlaflt›rd›¤›n› da
anlatt›lar. Ama, ailesinde madde ba¤›ml›s›, fliddet uygulay›c›s› erkekler olanlar, onlara benzemek
korkusuyla, “iyi ki k›z›m” dediler.
Yaflad›klar› ve tan›k olduklar›, çok çeflitli ve çok a¤›r aile-içi ve d›fl› fliddet öyküleri vard›.
Yaflamlar›ndaki fliddeti “k›z çocuk olma”lar›na de¤il kötü kadere, insanlar›n kötülü¤üne ba¤lad›lar.
Ensest ve tecavüz öyküleri de dinledik bazen; ama kimlikleri sakl› kalabilsin diye bu öykülere burada
hiç yer vermedik.
Annelerin çaresizli¤i, muhtaçl›¤›, yurda gidifl öykülerinde önemli bir yer tutuyordu ve “kad›n
olmak”la yak›ndan iliflkiliydi. K›z do¤mufl olmak, kendin çal›fl›p kazanabilirsen, kimseye muhtaç
olmazsan iyiydi.
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K›z olmak, hep kontrol alt›nda olmak…
“…bilmiyorum, erkekler sonuçta her yere s›¤abiliyor. D›flar›dan bakarsan, sonuçta ayr›lm›fl da olsa
boflanm›fl da olsa birfley etkilemiyor onlar›. Ama k›z oldu¤umuz için, çok etkiliyor. Sonuçta
ayr›ld›¤›m›zda dul damgas›…”
“…ifl s›navlar›nda da konuflmufltuk. ‹flte, tan›d›k olsun, uzak olmas›n, sen bir k›z çocu¤usun,
bafl›na birfleyler gelir, yan›nda olup biz denetleriz, gibisinden diyorlard›. Uzak olmas› iyi olmaz…”
“K›z çocu¤u olmak asl›nda zor; bafl›na her türlü fley gelebilir.”
“Bizim k›zlar gelirler, “Bugün seni öyle gördüm. Niye gittiniz pastaneye? O kimdi? Niye onunla
oturuyordun? O serseri!” falan demesi... Mesela, baflka zamanda, baflka yerde o ayn› hareketi yap›yordu.
Mesela, onun daha iyi anlamdad›r. Niyet kötü de¤il ki, sen de onunla ayn› konumdas›n. Ben, kendi
yapt›¤›m› baflkas› yapt›¤› zaman onu elefltirmeye hak bulmuyordum kendimde. Baz› arkadafllar›m bunu
yap›yordu. Elefltirdiklerimiz de vard›, ama zaten de¤iflen birfley olmuyordu; yine ayn› flekilde devam
ediyordu. Mesela, bir arkadafl›m›z vard›. Onunla çok konufltuk asl›nda. Hatta … çok konufltuk, çok, bir
gün de a¤z›ndan burnundan kan getirinceye kadar da dövdük... Çok yanl›fl birfleydi, ama ondan da
kaynaklan›yordu. Biz, “gitme” derdik. Ters cevap veriyordu. “Size ne!” diyordu. Ama biz onun iyili¤ini
istiyorduk.”
“… (kay›n validesinden söz ediyor) Benim bir tane arkadafl›m var. Karfl›dan karfl›ya geçiyorum, tek
O’na gidiyorum. Niye ben komfluma gidiyor muflum, niye ben arkadafllar›mla görüflüyormuflum.
Problem yarat›yor yani benimle eflimin aras›nda. Yok niye öyle oluyormufl, niye böyle oluyormufl...
Sürekli yani problemler. Bana, mesela, eflim hiç vurmazd›, k›yamazd› bana. Onun yüzünden, beni bir
kere eflimin dövdü¤ünü hat›rl›yorum; kay›nvalidem yüzünden.”
“Erkekler çal›flmak zorunda, bir yuvaya ekmek getirmek zorunda. Örne¤in, ben bayan›m, okul
okumad›m, okul hayat›m olmad›; ama evlenip, yuvamda eflimin ekme¤ini yiyebilirim. Ama erkek olsam,
bunu yapamam. Mesela, kendimi erkek olarak düflündü¤ümde, evimi düflünürüm, yuva kurmay›; ama
ifl olmay›nca hiçbirfley kuramazs›n. Ama bayansan, bir ifl bulamad›k, birfley yapamad›k, e¤itimimiz de
yok; kocan›n derdini çekeriz, ekme¤ini yeriz.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
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25
fifiiiddet, her yerde flfliiddet…
“Ben çocuklar› çok seviyorum. Bilmiyorum, belki de küçükken beni hiç kimse sevmedi. Çünkü
anneannemgilde kald›¤›m›z hep teyze çocuklar› sevildi, biz hep d›flland›k. Ya bizi bakkala göndermek
için ya da yerleri sildirmek süpürtmek için sevdiler. ‹fl yapt›¤›m›z zaman çok iyiydik biz,” canlar›
ye¤enleri” oluyorduk. Ama yapmad›¤›m›z zaman, “babas›n›n, annesinin k›z›” oluyorduk, “ne olacak”
diyorlard›..”
“Evde sürekli kavga oluyordu. Babam sürekli sorun yarat›yordu; çöp dökülüyordu sorun
yarat›yordu; bulafl›k y›kanm›yordu kavga ediyordu, ba¤›r›yordu, küfrediyordu. Bütün mahalle aya¤a
dökülüyordu. Rezillikti gerçekten, görseydiniz, benim hayat›m rezillikti.”
“… a¤abeyim, sürekli annemi dövüp de esrar al›yordu yani.”
Alt› ay amcamlarda kald›m. Ondan sonra cinsel taciz bafllad›. Dört kar›s› vard›. Oradan kaçt›m. …
Yurdu’nda kal›yorum, halen oraday›m. Ben 5 yafl›ndayken ablam kaç›r›l›p tecavüze u¤rad›¤› için, flimdi
çok periflan durumda.
“…üvey babamdan dolay› bizim evde kalma imkan›m›z yoktu. … ben … biraz daha küçük oldu¤um
için anne sevgisine biraz daha ihtiyac›m vard› benim, hep böyle anne, hep öyle a¤lard›m falan. Yani
mecbur kald›¤›m için giderdim. Yoksa bizde hiç kimse gitmek istemezdi, ablalar›m hiç gitmek
istemezdi. Yani gidip ne yapaca¤›z, her gün dayak falan vard›. Ben yine isterdim, ›srarla annemi
isterdim. Giderdik iflte. Nas›l desem iflte yaz tatillerinde kal›rd›k orada, 15 tatillerde. O da burnumuzdan
gelirdi kald›¤›m›z zaman. … ne bileyim iflte üvey baba, bilirsiniz üvey baban›n halini, … bir ablam zaten
hep onun alt›nda çal›flt›, elinin alt›nda çal›flt›, hep dayak, annemi hep dövüyordu.”
“…ablam … geldi¤inde, çok, yani sinir sistemi bozulmufltu, hep beni dövüyordu. Hep beni
suçluyorlar; sen kabul etmesen bu bafl›m›za gelmezdi Bir ara beni dövdü resmen, ben yani fleymiflim
gibi resmen bo¤azlad› beni.”
“Müdürümüz çocuklar› plastik sopayla döverdi. Daha sonra, ne oldu. Biz bir arkadafl›mla -ayn›
yurttan- gazetecilere, kad›n derneklerine gittik. … Müdüre gittik. Biz müdürle karfl›l›kl› konuflurken,
yani bu fliddet olay›n› falan filan önlemek için de, mafla gösterir gibi, böyle yaparsan›z bunlar mutlaka
gazetelerde sunulacak [dedik] ki bu onun için kötüydü, çünkü … bu duruma düflmesi, mutlaka o yeni
atand›¤› görevden al›nmas› demekti.”
“‹ki yafl›nda babam kalp krizinden ölmüfl. 81 yafl›ndaym›fl. Annemin güzelli¤i ünlüymüfl. Annem
dördüncü evlili¤iymifl, çok gençmifl, parayla getirmifl. Day›lar›m beni … Çocuk Yuvas›’na vermifller.
Annem istememifl ama zorla alm›fllar. 12 yafl›ndan sonra a¤abeyim erkek, ben de k›z yetifltirme yurduna
geçtim. Orda çok dayak yedim; büyükler hem döverlerdi hem de zorla paralar›m›z› al›rlard›, bak›c›
anneler de kaynar sularla y›karlard›. Yaflam hep fliddetle, dayakla geçti. Her yerlerim morar›rd›. Ben de
hep tepki gösterirdim, o yüzden beni d›fllarlard›, sürekli ceza al›rd›m, tatile falan göndermezlerdi. …
Sonunda yurt baflkan› oldum. Bu rolüm benim hocalarla iliflkimi gelifltirdi ve onlara sayg› duymama
neden oldu. Krefl staj›mdan dolay› yurt baflkanl›¤›na ara verdim. Ama sonra benim yerime geçen k›z
çocuklar› dövünce, yeniden baflkan oldum.”
26
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
“Yurt yaflam›m 1 yafl›nda babam›n yurda vermesiyle bafllam›fl. … meslek lisesinde 3.s›n›fta okurken
yurttan at›ld›m. At›lma nedenim, yurttan kaçan bir k›z› müdür yard›mc›m›z›n odunla dövmesi ve fareli
bir odaya kilitlemesinden iki gün sonra kilidi k›r›p k›z› ç›kartmamla geliflti. 16-17 yafl›ndayd›m ve yurt
temsilcisiydim. Olay› bas›na haber verdim. Benim bilgim ve haberim olmadan babama bir ka¤›t
imzalat›larak, benim ç›kar›lmam› sa¤lam›fllar.”
“Yani oradaki küçüklere sahip ç›k›yordum; hep dövüyorlard›. Yani... Küçük yaflta gerçekten çok
çektim….”
“‹lkokul beflinci s›n›fta ö¤retmenimiz de¤iflti ve erkek ö¤retmen geldi. Çok sert biriydi. Bu yüz
soruluk bir test yapt› ve benim elimden k⤛d›m› ald›, di¤erlerininkini almad›. S›n›fta befl kifli kald›k,
sadece benim k⤛d›m› ald›, “Süre bitti” dedi… ben ç›kt›m. Ertesi gün cevaplar› okuyor, ben Hoca’ya
ba¤›rd›m; karfl›s›na ç›kt›m, “Sen onlar›n k⤛d›n› almad›n, benim k⤛d›m› ald›n” dedim. Bana orada bir
tokat att›. Befl parmak izi yüzümde ç›kt› ve yurttan hocayla konuflmak için okula geldiler, “Bu çocu¤un
surat› ne böyle” dediler. Ve sonra bana -dönem bitecekti- bana teflekkür belgesi verdi. … “Bu Hoca beni
dövdü¤ü için bana teflekkür belgesi verdi” diye düflündüm.”
“… beni seviyorlard›. Müdür anne beni seviyordu, onlar da k›skan›yordu. Sonuçta sevgiye
onlar›n da ihtiyac› oldu¤u için, müdür olmad›¤› zamanda beni dövüyorlard›, tokat at›yorlard›,…”
-
“Çal›flflm
mak kad›na güvence ve güç sa¤lar” inanc›
“… Bak›yorsun, bayanlar çal›fl›yor, maafl›n› al›yor, yiyor, içiyor. Ne güzel, kimseye muhtaç de¤il.
Evlenince de eflime muhtaç olmam, boyun e¤mem, ki eflim bana boyun e¤er; çünkü benim de eve
getirdi¤im bir gelir var, kendime güvenim var.”
“Ama sen büyük olduktan sonra, kendine güvenin olduktan sonra, birfleylere bulaflmad›¤›n
müddetçe kimse sana zarar veremiyor.”
“‹flim olsun, paral› olay›m, evlenip mutlu bir yuvam olsun istiyorum. Yurtlardan nefret ediyorum.
Hastalan›nca, gök gürültüsünde, … korkuyorsun. Ac›k›nca yiyecek yok, sevgi yok. …. Yuvadayken
bak›c› anneler bize k›z›nca s›cak suyla y›k›yorlard›. Sabah kahvalt›s›ndan ö¤le yeme¤ine kadar a¤z›na
birfley koyam›yorsun. Çocuksun, birfleyler at›flt›rmak istiyorsun, ama oralarda mümkün de¤il. fiimdi
evde sürekli ifl yap›yorum, befl dakika oturam›yorum. 16 kiflinin ifli biter mi? Evlenmeden önce ifle
girmek isterim. Yoksa annem gibi olurum. ‹fli olsayd› bizi yuvaya b›rak›r m›yd›?”
‹K‹NC‹ BÖLÜM
‹stihdam:
Umutlar, Beklentiler, Sorunlar…
“Bence en önemlisi, [insan çal›flfl››nca] kendi ayaklar› üzerinde durabiliyor, kendine
güvenin geliyor. Evet, hayatta ben tekim, diyorsun ve birey olarak orada baflflll›yor asl›nda her
flfleey. Meselâ, bugüne kadar biz hep flflu
unu düflflü
ünüyorduk: Evet, ben tekim. Yurtta yaflflaad›¤›m›z
için, benim arkamda hiçbir deste¤im yok,… ama o zaman arkam›zda kocaman bir destek
varm›flfl,, kocaman bir devlet varm›flfl.. fifiu
u anda (yurttan ayr›ld›ktan sonray› kastediyor) tekim.
Yani yapabilece¤im hiçbirflfleey yok, sadece çal›flflm
mak zorunday›m.”
28
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
Neden çal›flflm
mak istiyorlar?
Görüfltü¤ümüz genç k›zlar, ikisi d›fl›nda, çal›flmay› “muhtaç olmamak” için istiyordu. Onlar›n
omuzlar›nda, kurtar›lmay› bekleyen hayatlar vard›: Önce kendi hayatlar›, sonra annelerinki, varsa
çocuklar, özellikle de kardefllerin hayatlar›… “Devletin çocu¤u” olmalar›n›n esas› yoksulluk ve aile
parçalanmas› olunca, bu hiç flafl›rt›c› de¤ildi. Sadece iki kifli çal›flman›n kendini gerçeklefltirmedeki
öneminden söz etti.
-
Çal›flflm
mak, kendin için, bilmek için, deneyim için…
“Çal›flay›m ki kendi istediklerimi yapay›m. Kendime güvenim gelsin. Veya hani birfleyler okuyarak
olmuyor; yaflad›¤›m›z fleylerle daha çok fley ö¤reniyoruz. Onun için flimdi yaflaman›n, çal›flman›n önemi
daha büyük. Yani ö¤renmek için. ‹leride belki, meselâ ileride bir devlet dairesinde çal›flt›¤›m zaman,
“aaa... keflke flurada çal›flsayd›m”, “böyle çal›flsayd›m” demek yerine, flimdi memnun olmadan çal›flmay›
tercih ediyorum. Yani hayatta birfleyler deneyimim olsun istiyorum veya bir meslek hakk›nda, evet
benim bu konuda bir bilgim var demek istiyorum, çal›flarak.”
“… çal›flmak benim için bilgi. …Kendime ya da topluma yararl› birisi olmak istiyorum. Sonra, bol
bol çal›fl›p, bol para kazanmak.. Sonra, iyi al›flverifl yapabilmek o parayla. ….”
-
Kendisi ve ailesi için çal›flflm
mak isteyenler
“Çal›flt›¤›m zaman ekonomik özgürlü¤üme kavuflaca¤›m. Kendi paran› kazanacaks›n. Bundan daha
onurlu birfley var m›d›r? Kimseden para istemek zorunda kalmayacaks›n, paran› kendin al›p, kendin
harcayacaks›n.”
“…Çal›fl›nca özgürlük falan kazan›yorsun, istedi¤in her fleyi yapabiliyorsun. Öyle rahat oluyorsun,
her istedi¤ini alabiliyorsun.”
“Çal›flmak, kendi evimi kurmak istiyorum. Ailemin iyi olmas› için elimden geleni yapaca¤›m.
Babamdan korumak için de çal›flaca¤›m.”
“…çal›flt›¤›n zaman kimseye muhtaç olmam yani mesela. O zaman küçükken bana bakmayan
insanlar, flu an, yani iflim elimde olmamas›na ra¤men, daha (hayata) at›lmam›fl›m, flimdiden
düflünüyorlar yani, yan›ma geliyorlar öyle yani.”
“… art›k fark etmiyor, ne olursa olsun yapar›m diyorum, yeter ki hani kendi ayaklar›m›n üzerinde
durabileyim art›k. Kimseye muhtaç olmak istemiyorum.”
“… Benim gözüm çok parada de¤il, ailemi iyilefltirmek, geçmifllerini unutturmak, ve onlar›
bar›nd›racak bir paraya sahip olmak isterim. O kadar.
“… (çal›flt›¤›m zaman) daha çok yard›m edebilirim. Yard›m edebilirim dedi¤im de, kardeflim
meselâ.. … Son, bizim küçü¤ümüz olan. … Meselâ, kardeflimle birlikte ifle girersek onun e¤itimini biz
yüklenece¤iz yani. O yüzden bir an önce ifle girmek istiyorum.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
29
“Okul okumay› ve ayaklar›m›n üstünde durmay› çok istiyorum. Eminim, çok iyi biliyorum ki, e¤er
benim annemin ifli olmufl olsayd›, biz yurtta da olmazd›k, bugün ikinci evlili¤ini de yapmam›fl olurdu.
… Çal›flmaya bafllad›¤›m zaman ilk annemi yan›ma al›p ilk hemen bir ev tutaca¤›m.”
“… ailemi yan›ma al›p s›cak yemekler yapaca¤›m. özellikle anneme beyaz elbiseler giydirece¤im.”
“Çal›fl›nca ilk baflta kendi hayat›m› kurtaraca¤›m zaten. Sonra kardefllerimin hayat›n›. ... zaten
sadece sevdi¤im yani sevdiklerimden kardefllerim var,…”
“Ben aileme muhtaç olmak istemiyorum. Mesela, benim flimdi annem var, üvey çocuklar› var,
üvey a¤abeylerim var, ayn› ortamday›z. Ben yard›m edeyim onlara. Hani hep onlar yapmas›n. Yani,
sonuçta ailemdir.”
“Valla maafl almak diyebilirim. Çal›fl›nca yaflayabilirsin yani, öyle, ekmek alabilirsin, k›z›ma iyi bir...
Ben mesela, k›z›ma, üç yafl›na geldi, daha çarfl›ya ç›k›p iyi birfley alamad›m.”
“… arkadafllar›mdan ayr›lmak istemiyorum, bu nedenle …’da çal›flmam gerekiyor. Hizmetli
kadrom bile gelse raz›y›m. Yeter ki yurttan ayr›l›p eve geçebileyim.”
-
Devlete ve Kurum’a katk›da bulunmak isteyenler…
“Ben asl›nda polis olmak istiyordum... “Hani devlet bize yarar sa¤l›yor, flöyle yap›yor böyle yap›yor,
bizim için bir sürü fley yapm›fl” diyordum, “ben de devlet için birfleyler yapay›m”. “En az›ndan devlete
birfleyler yapm›fl olurum”, diyordum.”
“Türkiye’nin gelece¤i … böyle giderse hiç parlak de¤il. … çal›flt›¤›m zaman devlete gerçekten yararl›
olmak istiyorum, devlet için çal›flmak istiyorum. Ama sadece memur olarak da bunu yapamazs›n, bu
düflünceyle okumak istiyorum, iyi bir mevkiye gelip ülkemi gelifltirmek istiyorum.”
“Ben çok memnundum Sosyal Hizmetler’den. Oras› evim gibi ve o kurumda çal›flmay›, özveriyle
çal›flmay› çok isterim yani. ‹nsanlarla sürekli muhatap olabilece¤im, yard›m edebilece¤im... ‹çimde bu
istek var.”
“… yurda ben bir ba¤›flta bulunaca¤›m. … nas›l diyeyim, bizim yurdun en çok harcanan, … tuvalet
ka¤›d›. Çok ciddi boyutta bizim ihtiyac›m›z var. ... Birer tane da¤›t›l›yor ve ayda! … ben çok s›k›nt›
çektim o konuda. Arkadafllar›m da çok çekti. … yaflay›nca anlad›m. … yurda bir sürü tuvalet ka¤›d›
ba¤›fllayaca¤›m.”
Nerede, nas›l çal›flflm
mak istiyorlar?
Kat›l›mc›lar›m›z, çal›flmak istedikleri ifli ço¤unlukla “masa bafl›nda bir ifl” diye yan›tlad›lar. Baz›lar›
ise aktif olabilecekleri, ihtiyaçlar› olanlara yard›m edebilecekleri, ifle yarayacaklar› bir ifl düflündüklerini
söylediler. Baz› anlat›larda ise, çal›flmak istedikleri yerlerin ve ifllerin, de¤ifltirmek istedikleri durumlarla
ilgili oldu¤unu gördük. Ama fabrikalarda, sanayide çal›flmak isteyenle hiç karfl›laflmad›k. Belki de,
Anadolu’da fabrika tipi sanayinin yayg›n olmamas› yüzünden çevrelerinde görmedikleri bir çal›flma
türüydü sanayi iflçili¤i. Geliflti¤ini, yayg›nlaflt›¤›n› gördükleri, sosyal statüsü yüksek gözüken ifller de,
30
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
genellikle hizmet sektöründeydi. ‹flgücü piyasas›nda ekmek aslan›n a¤z›nda olunca hele, kamu
iflyerlerindeki kotalar› onlarda abart›lm›fl bir umut haline gelmiflti. Bir yandan kendilerine ve yurt
arkadafllar›na daha az ifl geldi¤ini, devlet ifline giren say›s›n›n azald›¤›n› fark ediyorlar, di¤er yandan
“devlet” d›fl›nda girdikleri her ifli geçici görüyor, yurttan ifl gelmez korkusuyla çal›flt›klar› iflyerinin
sosyal güvence sa¤lamas›n› bile reddediyorlard›.
-
Hayal ettikleri iflflller hizmet sektöründe…
“Sessiz, güzel, masa bafl› bir iflim olsun isterim. ‹lk iznimde tek bafl›ma bir tatil yapmak istiyorum.
Üniversiteyi bitirmek, ö¤retmen olmak isterim. Ö¤retmenlik yapmak isterim. Çünkü çocuklarla
birlikte olmak, birfley ö¤retmek istiyorum. Çocuklar ö¤rettiklerini sana geri veriyor, ne ö¤rettiysen, ne
verdiysen onu bana geri veriyorlar. Çocuk bakarken gördüm bunu. Sen öpersen o da öper, sen iyi
dersen o da der.”
“fiimdiye kadar hiç çal›flmad›m ve korkuyorum da. Hata yapar›m diye çok korkuyorum. Bilgisayar
kullanabilece¤im bir iflte çal›flmak istiyorum.”
“Halkla iliflkiler uzman› ya da psikolog olmak isterdim. Sayg›nl›¤› olan bir iflte çal›flmak istiyorum.
Ama, …. ya da ….’de çal›flmak istemiyorum; çünkü, dedikodu çok. Sertifikay› al›p iflimi kazanmak
istiyorum. fiimdi derdim o.”
“Memur olmak ve özellikle yuvada, çocuklarla çal›flmak istiyorum. Çünkü kardeflim yuvada, hem
O’nu özlüyorum, hem de kardeflim de dahil yuvadaki çocuklara çok kötü davran›yorlar. Onun için
yuvada çal›flmak istiyorum.”
“Valilikte bilgisayarla ilgili bir iflte çal›flmak isterdim. Mutlaka bir ifl sahibi olmak, sizin gibi olmak
isterdim. Ve, birilerine destek olmak isterdim.”
“Arkamda hocalar›m var. Sonuçta ben yurt çocu¤uyum, beni bir flekilde, mutlaka bir yerlere
yerlefltirecekler falan. Ama, onlar yerlefltirene kadar...”
“Bilmiyorum, asl›nda çal›flaca¤›m zaman çok isterim memur olay›m.”
“…art›k bu sene bakaca¤›z, devletten art›k zaten umudumuzu kestik, üniversite okuyaca¤›z,
dedi¤im gibi. … Mesela, gelecek falan, deniliyor ya eskisi gibi de¤il, art›k her fley zorlaflt›. Eskiden
mesela, okusan da okumasan da ifl geliyordu sana yurttan, mecburen yani, herkese geliyordu. Ama flu
anda öyle de¤il. Kaç y›ld›r bekleyenler var. Benim arkadafl›m 3-4 y›ld›r hala ifl bekliyor. Onlar›n
durumunda olmak istemiyorum, aç›kças› çal›flmak istiyorum.”
Mevcut ifl deneyimleri, enformal sektör a¤›rl›kl›?
Gençlerin baz›lar›n›n ifl deneyimi daha yurttayken bafllam›fl, baz›s› henüz ifl hayat›na hiç ad›m
atmam›fl. Yurda yuvadan geçmifl olan ve e¤itimini aksamadan sürdürenler, ki bizim Projemizin
kat›l›mc›lar› aras›nda ço¤unluktayd›lar, çok az ifl deneyimine sahipler. Ama, yurttan yönlendirilerek
gidilmifl, harçl›k ç›karmaya yarayan ifller ilk deneyimler olabiliyor. Mevcut ifl deneyimleri çeflitli alanlar›
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
31
kaps›yor. Yurt döneminde ve yurttan sonra çal›flt›klar› ifller aras›nda güvenceli, sigortal›, toplu
sözleflmeli, düzenli ve kurall› iliflkilerle yürütülen ifllere rastlamak güç. Yani, ifl deneyimlerinin
genellikle enformal sektörde oldu¤unu söylemek mümkün. ‹flyerinde cinsel tacize u¤ramak ya da bu
yönde bir tehdit alg›lamak, bu olumsuz deneyimler aras›nda ciddi bir yer tutmakta. Çal›fl›rken
müflterilere “cinsel yönde mesaj vermesi”nin istenmesi afla¤›lay›c› ve korkutucu olmakta. Çeflitli
olumsuz deneyim öyküleri, kendi aralar›ndaki enformal bilgi a¤› ile ve özel sektörün tamam›na mal
edilerek yay›lm›fl… Olumlu deneyimler, genellikle iflverenin iyi davranmas›, güven göstermesi,
koruyucu olmas› anlam›na geliyor. Ama, hem az hem de, haber niteli¤i tafl›mad›¤›ndan olsa gerek,
enformel a¤larda pek duyulmayanlar aras›nda kal›yorlar… Sonuç, özel sektörde çal›flmaya karfl›
isteksizlik. Kendilerini “devletin çocuklar›” olarak tarif eden bu gençler, gelecekte “devletin memurlar›”
olacaklar› güne kadar beklemeyi adeta ye¤liyorlar.
-
Çal›flflm
ma alanlar› çeflfliitli
“‹lk önce erkek k›l›¤›nda sokakta sak›z çikolata satt›m, ayakkab› boyac›l›¤› yapt›m, çöpten ka¤›t
toplay›p satt›m, çimentocuda temizlik yapt›m, tu¤lac›da çal›flt›m.”
“…Yurttan ç›k›nca birkaç pazarlama, … yerel gazetesinde sekreterlik, emlak ofisi, markette
kasiyerlik, gazete bayili¤i yapt›m, de¤iflik sürelerde. … otel kat hizmeti de yapt›m.”
“… çocuk giyiminde çal›flt›m.”
“‹lk iflim eczanedeydi.”
“… bir y›l boyunca çal›flt›m tekstilde, ben makineciydim.”
“… mobilyac›da çal›flt›m.”
“Bir tür, müflteri hizmetleri de¤il de sekreter, patronun genel yard›mc›s›... fiirkette müflteri
hizmetleri gibi...”
“… abone merkezinde çal›fl›yorum.”
“Yurttayken part-time çal›flt›m, pazarlamac›l›k vb. yapt›m. Okuldan sonra difl protez teknisyenli¤i,
tak› tasar›m›, kafe-bar iflletme, (4-5 marka ad› sayarak) sat›fl pazarlama DVD-VCD dükkan›nda çal›flma,
bilgisayar firmas›nda, (ad›n› veriyor) müzik firmas›nda çal›flt›m.
“‹lk kez, birkaç kez anketörlük yapt›m. Yurttayken, tak› tasar›m›. Yurt ayarlard›, fuar›, kermesleri,
biz satard›k. Avukat sekreterli¤i yapt›m. … Yurdun çay oca¤›n› ifllettim iki hafta. … g›da sektöründe bal
tad›m› ve siparifli ifli teklif edildi, 3 ay çal›flt›m, …”.
“Kantinde sat›fl elemanl›¤›…”
“Ma¤azada ve markette tezgahtarl›k yapt›m.”
“Sigortac›da sekreterlikti.”
“Temizlik flirketinde telefonlara bakt›m.”
32
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
“‹l Sosyal Hizmet Müdürlü¤ü’nde gönüllü çal›flt›m.”
“F›nd›k toplad›m, 2 ay.”
“Tatilde satranç kursu ö¤retmenli¤i yapt›m.”
“Üç çocuk ve bir yafll› bakt›m.”
“… otobüs firmas›nda servis elemanl›¤› yapt›m.”
“Otellerde profesyonel halk oyunlar› gösterileri yapt›m.
“Saç ekimi iflinde, befl tel ay›r›yordum.”
“Çayc›l›k yapt›m, tekstilde ayakç›l›k yapt›m…”
“Bir yerel TV’de reklam ifli…”
-
Genellikle yasal standartlar›n d›flfl››nda çal›flflm
m›flflllar…
ük ve düzensiz ücret, sigorta ve güvence yok…
o Kurals›zl›k esas: Düflflü
“‹flten ayr›lma nedenlerim genellikle az para vermeleri, sokakta çal›flman›n s›k›nt›lar›, sat›flpazarlamadan sürekli kazanamamam oldu. Bir iflyerinden de SSK primimi yat›rmad›klar› için ayr›ld›m.”
“Özel sektör sigortas›z çal›flma demek. Hastaneye gidecek param yoktu hep.”
“Bilgisayarc›da sekreterdim. Sigortam yoktu ve ücret çok azd›.”
“Sosyal güvencem yoktu.”
“Ücretim çok azd›, sigortam yoktu, b›rakt›m.”
“…Bir y›l boyunca çal›flt›m tekstilde. Ben makineciydim. … (sigortadan söz ediyor) yok benim.
Asl›nda sa¤l›yorlard›. “Sigorta felan”, dediler, “yapaca¤›z”. Zaten biliyoruz onlar hep bahaneydi, zaten
kand›r›yorlard› insanlar›. Bir de ben istemiyordum. fiey, diyorlard› iflte, “Sigorta yapt›r›rsan sana yurttan
ifl gelmez, böyle birfley var”.Ben de yapt›rmad›m.”
“… patronum bayand›. Çok agresifti. Yani, elbiseleri katlard›m, tekrar katlat›rd›.”
“(sekreterlik yapt›¤› avukattan söz ediyor) Çok bencildi, haftal›k 20 milyon al›yordum, cebimden
harcamaya bafllay›nca b›rakt›m, yetmiyordu.”
“… (iflyerinde birlikte çal›flt›¤› kifliden söz ediyor) Beni çok kötü etkiliyordu, bana resmen
ba¤›r›yordu, diyordu (bilgisayardan söz ediyor) “bu k›za birfley yazd›rmay›n”, yazamam, kaybederim
falan diye. O flekilde müflterinin yan›nda beni azarl›yordu, ben de dayanam›yordum, sonuçta diyordum
ben e¤er verimli de¤ilsem, yard›mc› olam›yorsam niye geleyim de gelin gibi oturay›m ki,…
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
33
• Cinsel taciz ve taciz tehdidi alt›nda olmak
• ‹flflyyerinde cinsel taciz çok ve flfliikayet imkan› ise az…
“Ankara’da mobilyac›da çal›flt›m. Patron flerefsizdi, suland› 50-60 yafl›nda adam. 18 yafl›ndaki o¤lu
da bizimle çal›fl›yordu. Bir ay kadar çal›flt›m. Olmad›, ç›kt›m.”
“Çal›flt›¤›m yerde hepsi erkekti. Yan›mda, olur olmaz her fleyi konufluyorlard›. Art›k
dayanam›yordum. Beni hiç adam yerine bile koymuyorlard›. Çok terbiyesiz fleyler konufluyorlard›. Ben
de flikâyet ettim. Müdür konufltu, ama yine ayn› fleyleri yap›yorlard›. Ben de dayanamad›m, kaçt›m.”
“(Çal›flanlardan birinden söz ediyor) … Bana, “Senin sevgilin var m›?” filan diyordu, ben de “Yok”
diyordum. “Böyle böyle fleyler yaflad›n m›?” diyordu, ben de “Hay›r” diyordum. … “Sen, baz› fleyler
yaflad›n m›?” diyordu, “Hay›r, yaflamad›m” diyordum. “Ama ben gençken neler yapt›m” filan diyordu.
Bu, bana bir ders oldu, baz› fleyleri konuflmuyorum. Adam›n niyeti baflkaym›fl. Ama çok flükür, bafl›ma
birfley gelmedi.”
“… dürüst bir iflti, güzel bir iflti, ama sonra patronlar g›c›kl›k yapmaya bafllad›lar, oradan ayr›ld›m.”
“Bütün ifllerimden, genelde herkesten cinsel iliflki önerisi yüzünden ayr›lmak zorunda kald›m.”
“Özel sektöre hiç güvenmiyorum. Devlette as›lma olmaz m›? Olur. Ama, flikayet edebilirsin. Özelde
karalama çok kolay. ‹fl formunu (‹fiKUR’a baflvuru formumuzdan söz ediyor) bu yüzden doldurmad›m.”
“… Karfl›daki insan sana farkl› gözle bak›yor. Yani insan bir flekilde rahat çal›flam›yor. … devlet
memuru olsam, o flekilde baksalar bile, flikayet ederim. Ama di¤eri, mesela, diyelim patron, yanaflmak
istiyor, patronu kime flikayet edece¤im? Mecburen iflten ç›kacaks›n..”
• Müflfltteriye cinsel içerikli mesaj vermek…
“Patron, beni mal gibi görüyordu. Gelen misafirler, müflteriler beni görerek, devaml› kafeye gelip
gitsinler istiyordu. Ertesi gün, “D›flar›da dur da, millet seni görsün de içeriye girsin” gibi birfley söyledi.
Çok zoruma gitti. Oradan o flekilde ayr›ld›m. … Maafl›m› da tam olarak alamad›m.”
“fiimdi … abone merkezinde çal›fl›yorum. Erkek arkadafl›m›n çok güvenilir bir arkadafl› önerdi. Bu
yüzden sorun yok. Ama iflyerindeki öbür k›z için çok sorun var, görüyorum. Burada k›sa etek giymek,
saçlar›n›n fönlü olmas›, a¤›r makyaj isteniyor bizden. Bu bana zor, tuhaf geliyor. Telefonu satarken
müflterinin gözüne bakmam isteniyor. Bu da beni, sanki adam› bafltan ç›kar›yormuflum gibi kötü
hissettiriyor. (‹ç Anadolu’da küçük bir kentten söz ediyor) …’de kad›nlar kendilerine telefon
alam›yorlar, kocalar›yla geliyorlar. Kar›s›n›n yan›nda adam›n gözünün içine bak›p konuflmak tuhaf de¤il mi?”
-
‹yi iflflvveren “bana iyi davranan iflflvveren”dir…
“(Yurt çocuklu¤undan söz ediyor) Çal›flt›¤›m yerlerde biliyorlard›. … sigortadan dolay›. Ben
söylemeyecektim asl›nda da, sigorta yapal›m dedi, ben “hay›r” falan deyince, “aç›kla” dedi “niçin
34
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
istemiyorsun”. Ben o zaman iflte dile getirdim, ama yine de hofl karfl›land›m, yani di¤erleri gibi baflka
fleyle yaklaflmad›lar, aksine hep yard›mc› oldular, yani “biz de senin anan›z baban›z”, “yan›m›zdas›n”,
yani “birfleye ihtiyac›n oldu¤u zaman hiç çekinme”…”
“… bana zaten emanet etmiflti ma¤azay›, her fleyle ben ilgileniyordum, kendisi emlak ifliyle
ilgileniyordu, yani bütün her fley benim üstümeydi, bana devretmiflti, “ya diyordu sen buran›n
patronusun”. Her fley tam kontrolümde, yani iyi anlafl›yordum çok güzel anlafl›yordum, her fleyine
yetifliyordum adam›n, o yüzden çok memnundu.”
“… Patron çok iyiydi. Maafl iyi olmasa da önemli de¤ildir. K›lcal damarlar›mda sorun oldu, varis
diyorlar. ‹flten ç›kmam gerekti, uzun zaman ayakta duram›yordum. Eczanedeyken dershaneye
gidebiliyordum. Para biriktirdim…”
“… Çal›flt›¤›m yerin sahiplerinin a¤abey, anne, kardefl yerinde olmak isterdim. Dayan›flmac› ve
ifllerini bilen, olmas› gerekti¤i gibilerdi. Beni de çok düflünüyorlard›. Orada çal›fl›rken eleman ifllerini
görmedim. Ben de buna dikkat ettim ve istismar etmedim. Kamu d›fl›nda bir yerde çal›flmay›
düflünmezken, onlar bana özel sektörü sevdirdi.”
“Yurtta kalmam bile oradaki insanlar› hiç etkilemiyordu, çünkü yurtta kald›¤›m› ilk baflta
söylemiyordum insanlara. Belli bir süre sonra, beni, kiflili¤imi tan›d›ktan sonra söylüyordum. Bu da
onlara çok büyük birfley ifade etmiyordu, çünkü beni tan›y›nca insanlar›n kafas›nda kötü bir yarg›
oluflturmuyordum. ‹fl arkadafllar›mla, patronlar›mla gayet iyi anlafl›yordum. Hatta en son gitti¤im yerde,
otelde, bir ay çal›flmama ra¤men, orada dört y›l çal›flan insana fleflik teklif edilmedi, bana teklif edildi.
Yani gitmemi istemiyorlard› asla. Yani çok iyi bir iletiflimim vard›.“
Onlar› dezavantajl› k›lan ne?
Kat›l›mc›lar›m›z, iflgücü piyasas›nda çeflitli dezavantajlara sahipler. Kurumsal ifl arama kanallar›n›
bilmiyorlard›, hiç kullanmam›fllard›. ‹fiKUR’la bu Proje sayesinde tan›flm›fllard› mesela. Sadece ifl
aramakta de¤il, ayn› zamanda ifle-mesle¤e yönlendirmede de kurumsal hizmetleri tan›m›yor, bilmiyorlard›.
Okulda mesleki rehberlik hizmeti alm›fl olan ç›kmad›. ‹fiKUR’un Meslek Dan›flmanl›¤› hizmetleriyle de
Projemizin güçlenme e¤itimleri s›ras›nda tan›flt›lar. Bir k›sm› meslek lisesinde okumufl, mezun olmufltu;
ama okudu¤u bölümle ne yetene¤i, ne ilgisi uyuyordu, ne de o alanda ifl imkan› vard› o flehirde. ‹fl
aramaya bafllay›nca, iflgücü piyasas›nda ifl arayanlar aras›ndaki rekabetten haberdar olmufllard› iflte.
Genç k›z olmak, önemli bir dezavantaj, ama karfl›laflt›klar› taciz ve kötü muameleleri daha çok yurt
çocu¤u ve sahipsiz olmakla iliflkilendiriyorlard›. Örne¤in, ifllerin cinsiyete göre ayr›lm›fl oldu¤undan bir
kifli, yaflad›¤› bölgede kad›n›n çal›flmas›na iliflkin genel yaklafl›m›n kendisini nas›l s›n›rland›rd›¤›ndan da
yine sadece bir kat›l›mc› söz etti. Anlatt›klar› kötü muameleler cinsel tacizden ibaret de¤ildi;
iflyerindeki çeflitli sorunlarda yurt çocuklar›n›n ilk suçlanan, flaibe alt›nda kalan oldu¤una iliflkin
örnekler ses kay›t cihaz›n› kapatt›r›larak anlat›lanlar aras›ndayd›.
Görüflmelerimizde ve e¤itimler s›ras›nda, çal›flanlar›n haklar›na ve hak arama yollar›na iliflkin
neredeyse hiç bilgilerinin olmad›¤›n› gördük. Nerede, nas›l ifl arayabileceklerini, ifl görüflmesinde nelere
dikkat edeceklerini, özgeçmifl yazmay›, kulaktan dolma birkaç fley d›fl›nda bilmiyorlard›. Bu konularda
ne okulda ne yurtta bilgilendirilmifllerdi.
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
-
35
Kurumsal ifl arama kanallar›n› bilmiyor, kullanam›yorlar…
“Bizim apartmanda arkadafllar vard› iki tane, onlar çal›fl›yordu, … dediler “çal›flmak istiyorsan gel
götürelim”. Zaten tekstilde yeni aç›lm›flt› oran›n fabrikas›, eleman ar›yorlard›. Beni ald›lar, iflte dediler
“deneyece¤iz bakal›m”.
“Yurttan göndermifllerdi…”
“Staj yapm›flt›m asl›nda…”
“Gazetelerden ar›yordum, buluyordum.”
“Erkek arkadafl›m›n çok güvenilir bir arkadafl› önerdi.”
“Arkadafllar›m söyledi, görüfltüm, anlaflt›k.”
-
Güvenceli iflflllere eriflfleememek: “Arkam yok”
“S›navlar› hep kazand›m, mülakatlar› kaybettim. Hizmetli olmak istemiyorum. Bu söyleyince
alm›yorlar herhalde. Arkam yok zaten.”
“‹fl ka¤›tlar›m›z geliyor. Ama bu ifl ka¤›tlar›ndan yana çok umutsuzum. “Niye?” diyeceksiniz.
S›navlara gittim, 4-5 tane s›nava girdim iflte flimdiye kadar. … iflte hepsinden de yüksek puan al›yoruz,
mülakattan eleniyoruz.”
-
Meslek dan›flflm
manl›¤› hizmetlerinden yararlanmam›fl olmak…
(Ticaret Lisesi mezunu, neden alan›nda ifl aramad›¤›n› cevapl›yor) “Hocam, öyle bir alan …’de
flahsen bulamam. Yani varsa, rastlamam›flt›m.”
“… mesela, benim resim yetene¤im vard›, ortaokuldayken resim yap›yordum, yar›flmada ikinci
olmufltum. … Ben, Güzel Sanatlar Lisesi Resim Bölümüne gitmeyi istemifltim. ‹ste¤im vard›, yetene¤im
de vard›; ama maalesef, içimdeki yetene¤i öldürdüler. … (Yurttaki bir görevlinin ismini veriyor) oraya
göndermedi, “Senin için iyi de¤il, ticarete git” dedi. Hiç konuflmad›m, sesimi de ç›karmad›m. Dedim ya,
çok sessizdim, hiçbirfley diyemiyordum. Ticaret lisesine gittim, ama mutsuzdum. … “Hocam, böyle
böyle” diyemiyorsunuz ki…”
“Biz isteyerek gitmedik asl›nda. Herkes “Oraya git, oraya git”, biz de birfley bilmiyoruz,
ortaokuldayd›k. Oraya verdiler iflte. Sevmem ben yani çocuklar›. … Beden e¤itimi ö¤retmeni olmak
istedim ben, ama olmad›k. Geçen sene iki y›ll›¤a gidecektik; “‹kinci ö¤retime ödemiyoruz” diye yurt
göndermedi. Bizim bölümümüzde hiç gündüzden yok. ... “Biz ödemiyoruz” diye ç›kartt›lar bizi. Biz de
kald›k ortada.”
“Ben normalde güzel sanatlar bölümüne gidecektim, resimden dolay›, çok yani yetene¤im vard›.
Bizim, iflte biraz ne bileyim, hep derler “yurt çocuklar›n› meslek lisesine gönderece¤iz”, liselere
göndermezler. Ben de iflte çok istiyordum güzel sanatlara gitmeyi de, bizim hocam›z fley diyordu iflte,
“orda hep erkekler var” diyordu. Bir de k›zlar› göndermiyor, sadece erkekler gidebiliyor düz liseye.”
36
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
“…Çocuk Geliflimi okumak hiç akl›ma gelmezdi. Yani daha hiçbirfleyden haberim yok benim, bana
diyor ki yurt: “Sen hangi okulu istiyorsun? Sen söyle, biz seni yazaca¤›z.” Ondan sonra ben bunu (isim
veriyor) ö¤retmene söyledim. Bana fley dedi; “Sen” dedi “Çocuklar› çok seviyorsun. Bence Çocuk
Geliflimi Ö¤retmeni olsan çok iyi olursun” dedi. Ben öyle bir düflündüm: “Hani dedim, bu çocuklarla
birebir, krefl ö¤retmeni gibi birfley mi?”. “Evet” dedi. Çok düflündüm. Ama bana ö¤retmenli¤in bütün
iyi yanlar›n› sayd›.Ben de öyle bir havalara girdim, ö¤retmen olaca¤›m falan. Sonra böyle girdim.”
“…ben üniversite okusayd›m beden e¤itimi ö¤retmenli¤ini istiyordum. Çünkü hep sporla
ilgilendi¤im için. fiu anda da yani art›k fark etmiyor…”
-
Rekabette avantaj önemli: “Herkes lise mezunu, herkes…”
“… flimdi ifle girdim mi girmedim mi, s›nava giriyorsun, kazand›m m› kazanamad›m m›, mülakatta
ne olacak stresleri … Üniversite ö¤rencisi olmak daha kolay, diye düflünüyorum. Çünkü; herkes lise
mezunu, herkes... Öyle yani... Benim gibi düflünen de ayn› fleyde, benimle hiç ilgisi alakas› olmayan,
liseyi zorla bitirmifl, s›rf ifle girebilmek için u¤raflan da ayn› kifli yani, bir fark›m›z yok onunla.”
-
“Erkek olsayd›n, al›rd›k.”
“Bir k›z› örne¤in lokantaya alm›yorlar. Benim erkek kardeflim lokantada çal›flt›, sonra bir kafede
çal›flt›. Ben de ayn› yere baflvurdum, beni almad›lar. Nedeni de, bir bayan neymifl akflama kadar
çal›flamazm›fl, neymifl flu ifli yapamazm›fl, veya da flöyle taba¤› tafl›yamazm›fl. Kardeflim çal›flt›. O yönden
erkeklere büyük bir avantaj oluyor. Kaç yere baflvurduysam erkek istiyorlard›. Diyorlard›, “erkek
olsayd›n, al›rd›k .””
“… gittim manava... manav derken, hani sebze falan sat›l›yor. Hani bayanlar falan da çal›flt›r›labilir
diye düflündüm, gittim. Bana dedi, “erkek olsayd›n›z al›rd›k”.”
“…Güneydo¤u’da fazla ifl yok, imkan yok. Biliyorsunuz, k›zlar evinde oturur, baflka birfley yapmaz,
ölene kadar bekler. K›zlar için (ifl) olmas› daha güzel; çünkü erkekler her yerde ifl bulabilir, her yerde
rahatl›kla gelebilir.”
-
Yine yurt çocuklu¤u, yine önyarg›lar, yine sahipsizlik, tacize aç›kl›k
“… tamam yurt iyi ama d›flar› gitti¤imiz zaman “yurtta kal›yor bunlar” iflte, hemen böyle küçümser
gözle bak›yorlar ya da ac›yorlar sürekli, her yerde böyle birfley koyuyorlar, … biz Erzincan’da d›flar›
ç›kt›¤›m›z zaman “aha bu (yurdun ismin söylüyor) ….l› k›zlar, bunlar bilmem ne.” Hemen kötü gözle
bak›yorlar; “Bunlardan adam olmaz”. O tür yaklaflt›lar, o da olumsuz.”
“… yurtta kald›¤›m›z için, bir ifle ne girdi¤imizde bile, … yurtta kald›¤›m›z› söyleyince hemencecik
insanlar›n bak›fl aç›lar› de¤ifliyor..”
(ifl arkadafllar›n›n tacizci sorular›n› anlat›rken…) “Özel hayat›n›, yurtta kald›¤›n› filan anlat›r
m›s›n?” diyordunuz ya, yurtta kald›¤›m› söylemedim.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
37
“… yurt çocu¤u oldu¤umu bilmiyorlard›. Özellikle söylemedim. Hangi gözle bakacaklar›n›
biliyordum. Ama, keflke söyleseydim. O durumu da yaflad›m zaten. … Yurttan ç›kt›m ya, beni hep
ezerler, hor görürler diye düflündüm.”
“K›z olmam›n ve yurtta kalm›fl olmam›n dezavantaj›, yurtlar hakk›ndaki genel yarg›, her fley var.
Yurtta kalm›fl k›zlara, afedersiniz argoca söylersem, flöyle bak›yorlar: Yurtta kalm›fllar, bunlar paraya
muhtaçlar, bunlar ne istersek, para verdi¤imiz zaman kendilerini, bedenlerini sat›n alabiliriz.”
“Yurtta kalanlar hafif meflrep, yani fley olanlar, hoppa... Yani her yola girebilir, çek çekebildi¤in
kadar... O flekilde bak›yorlar ço¤u zaman. Erkekler özellikle. Onun için ilk baflta söylemiyordum.
Kendimi tan›t›yordum, ondan sonra söylüyordum. Ondan sonra da pek bir anlam› kalm›yordu.”
-
Çal›flflm
ma hayat›n› ve haklar›n› bilmemek…
“… “Devlet memuru olacaks›n” derler. Devlet memurunun ne oldu¤unu, onu bile bilmiyorum ben.
Devlet memuru oturur, fley mi yazar? Öyle sürekli gelen dosyalarla ilgileniyor, oturuyor. Sürekli
oturma fleyinde bir ifl mi? …. Hep kendi kafamdan kurduklar›mla. ... Onu pek fley yapmazlar,
anlatmazlar.”
“Çal›fl›rken diksiyonun, k›l›k-k›yafetin, bak›m›n, beden dilinin önemini kavrad›m. ‹nsanlarla
konuflurken, insan yüzüne bakman›n önemini ö¤rendim.”
“Sosyal güvencem yoktu. Bilmedi¤im için öyle fleyleri. Yani flimdi hayat›m› yaflayabiliyor muyum,
param› alabiliyor muyum; tamam yani.”
38
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
Proje bafllang›ç toplant›s›...
Introductory meeting of the project
Bilgisayar kursu aç›l›fl program›...
Opening program of computer course
Bilgisayar kursundan bir görünüm...
A view from computer course
ÜÇÜNCÜ BÖLÜM
Projeye ‹liflflk
kin Beklentiler,
Proje’den Elde Edilenler
“Hayata bak›fl tarz›m ve iflfllle ilgili düflflü
üncelerim de¤iflfltti. fifiiimdi daha kararl› ve azimliyim.
Art›k ilerisi beni korkutmuyor.”
“Çal›flflm
malar› gördükçe çok hoflflu
uma gitti. S›k›lmad›m, güvenim artt›. Evlili¤e karflfl››yd›m,
hayat bana bofl geliyordu, tembelli¤e al›flflm
m›flfltt›m. fifiiimdi daha farkl›y›m. ‹flflee girmeyi düflflü
ünmeye
baflflllad›m. ‹fl giysilerine al›flflm
mak ve sorumluluk almak fikirleri beni korkutmuyor.”
40
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
‹fifiK
KUR’la bu Proje sayesinde tan›flfltt›lar…
‹fiKUR kat›l›mc›lar›m›z›n hayat›na ilk kez bu proje ile girdi. Bu Proje’den önce kendi ‹fiKUR’a
baflvurmufl olan kat›l›mc›m›z yoktu. Yerel toplant›lar, tan›flman›n ilk aya¤›n› oluflturuyordu. Bu ilk
toplant›lardan sonra ‹fiKUR’a da kay›tlar›n› yapt›rm›fllard›.
“‹fiKUR’u duydum ama nas›l? Hani ifl arayanlar oraya gidip baflvuruyorlar; öyle duymufltum
‹fiKUR’u. Yani hiçbir ba¤›m olmad› daha önce iflten dolay› falan. ‹fle de girmedi¤im için olmad›.”
“Daha önce duydum. Hatta önemsemiyordum. Sonuçta gün gelecek, nas›lsa ifl gelecek diye.”
“… Sonra bize davetiye geldi. Bize de¤il, bana davetiye göndermifller. Orada “‹fiKUR” falan
yaz›yordu. Orada yani tan›flt›m ilk defa ‹fiKUR’la. Daha önce hiçbir tan›flm›fll›¤›m yok.”
Proje’den nas›l haberdar oldular?
Kat›l›mc›lar›n Proje’den haberdar olmalar›n› sa¤layan iki ana kanal oldu: Birincisi, ‹fiKUR’dan
gönderilen ilk mektup, yani yerel toplant›ya kat›lma ça¤r›s›, ikincisi de yurt arkadafll›¤›na dayanan
informel iletiflim a¤lar›. Bu ikincisi sayesinde Proje’nin bilgisi, mektup adresinde oturmayanlara,
“devlette ifl” ça¤r›s› olmad›¤› için mektubu alan akrabalar› taraf›ndan haberdar edilmeyenlere, hatta
Kurum’un ulaflamad›klar›na çok k›sa zamanda ulaflm›fl. Bu a¤lar k›zlar›n hayat›nda gerçekten önemli bir
yere sahip; insani iliflki ihtiyac›n› önemli ölçüde karfl›l›yor; bildik bir ortam sa¤l›yor, bu anlamda güvenli. Ayr›ca bu a¤lar; baflka yerden edinilmesi güç bilgilere eriflim sa¤l›yor. Projemiz bunun bir örne¤i. Biz
bu Proje’de informel iletiflim a¤lar›ndan çok yararland›k. Ama bu a¤lar ayn› zamanda formel bilgilenme
kanallar›na ilgiyi zay›flat›yor, eksik ve abart›l› haberlerle yanl›fl yönlendirici olabiliyor, ayn› zamanda da
at›l›mc› cesareti k›rabiliyor.
“‹lk, iflte zarf falan gelmiflti. ‹flte, “Böyle bir projemiz var, kat›lmak ister misiniz?” Toplant› saati
falan vard› iflte. Kat›lmak istedim. Ya o anda hani böyle sanki kat›lsam, hemen iflim olacakm›fl gibi fley
yapt›m. Çok çok sevindim.”
“Mektup gelince çok sevindim, müzik markette çal›fl›yordum. .
“Bu projeyi duydu¤umda çok sevindim. Mektup geldi, toplant›ya kat›lmam istendi.
“Bu projeyi a¤abeyim haber verdi. Mektup onun evine gitmifl.”
“Beni ilk arad›klar›nda iflyerindeydim. ‹fiKUR’dan ar›yoruz deyince, ben numaram› yeni alm›flt›m,
hiç kimse de bilmiyordu, k›zlar beni iflletiyorlar sand›m.
“… ilk defa, benim haberim yoktu, arkadafl›m… bana haber verdi. Dedi” iflte böyle birfley aç›lm›fl”,
hatta onu ben yollad›m, “Ah keflke” dedim, “benim böyle bir imkan›m olsa, ben de gelirdim” falan. …
dediler “gel arayal›m, belki seni de isterler.”
“Yurttan aray›p söylediler, toplant›ya git dediler.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
41
Yerel toplant›larda tan›flfltt›k…
Projenin yerel toplant› ça¤r›s›, küçük bir heyecan yaratsa da, bir ço¤unun as›l duygusu güvensizlik,
düflüncesi “bundan birfley ç›kmaz” olmufl. Kat›l›mc›lar›m›z›n ço¤unda terkedilmifllik duygusu ile
bafllayan güven duygusu eksikli¤i, yurt yaflam›nda güçleniyor, 18 yafl›n› doldurup, okumuyorsa yurttan
ç›kar›ld›¤›nda “ortada kalma”yla tamamlan›yor. Bu nedenle toplant›ya çok güvensiz gelmifller. Bu duygu
ile, toplant›da anlat›lanlara da pek inanmam›fllar. Bir de arkas›ndan özel sektörde ifl gelece¤ini duyunca,
devlette ifl hakk›ndan m› oluyoruz korkusu basm›fl yüreklerini.
“…çok heyecanl›yd›m. Güvenmedim, geldim, ç›kt›m. Çünkü moralim bozuktu, herkes bir
havadayd›. Yar› yoldan geri döndüm, “Ne olur, yüzde 50 ihtimal var” dedim kendime.”
“Yurttayken, bize, maddi durumu iyi olup da yard›m etmeye gelece¤ini söyleyip gelmeyenler çok
oldu. Bu nedenle güvensizdim. ‹lk toplant›da da bunu söylemifltim.”
“Bu projeyi ilk duydu¤umda toplant›ya kat›lmak istemedim. Murat hocay› çok sevdim. Beni
olumlu yönde etkiledi.”
‹lk toplant›ya ‹fiKUR’dan Hürriyet han›m geldi. 20 bayan kat›ld›k. Benim yaflam›mda en büyük
eksikli¤im, arkam yoktu. Bu kurs bana destek olacakt›. Bu nedenle mutlu oldum..“
“Ben, aç›kças›, dedim, “herhalde olmaz”, dedim, “s›rf formalite falan olarak dolduruyorlar bize bu
formlar›”. Yani olaca¤›n› düflünmemifltim.”
“‹flyerimi bana ö¤retmenim ayarlam›flt›. Patronum bana çok as›l›yordu. Ayr›ca da 5,5 ayd›r sigorta
yapt›rmam›flt›. Patronum ‹fiKUR’un toplant›s›na kat›lmam› istememiflti. Toplant›ya yine de gittim.
Toplant›da 10-14 k›z vard›. Önce çok flafl›rd›m. Arkadafllar›m çok abart›l› giyinmifllerdi ve bu projeye
inanm›yorlard›. Ben projeyi ciddiye ald›m. Aran›zdan iki kifli seçilecek denince çok endiflelendim.”
“Murat bey toplant›ya geldi. 10-15 civar›nda k›z vard›. O toplant›da bir yandan ümitlisin, ama
kat›lamayaca¤›m diye düflündüm. T›pk› ifl görüflmeleri gibi geldi bana. Ça¤›r›lmak istiyordum. F›rsat›
de¤erlendirmek istiyordum.”
Sonra, umut k›ran, uzun bekleyiflfl…
…
Bafllang›çtaki düflüncelerini “bundan da birfley ç›kmayacak”, “formalite gere¤i form doldurtuyorlar”
biçiminde ifade etmeleri hayal k›r›kl›klar›na iliflkin deneyimlerine iflaret ediyor. Bu nedenle proje
bafllad›¤›nda ilk görüflmelerde anlat›lanlara pek de inanmam›fllar. Bu toplant›lardan sonra e¤itime
ça¤r›lmay› bekledikleri 2 ayl›k sürede güvenmemekte ne kadar hakl› olduklar›n› düflünmüfller; ta ki
ça¤r›lana kadar…
“‹fiKUR’u hiç duymad›m, ilk defa burada. Bize Ayflen abla geliyor diyor ki... “Ankara’ya, bilgisayar
kursu var ya da kurs var, gitmek istiyor musun?”. “Evet”, dedim. Sonra bize form verdi. Form
doldurduk. … fiimdi, bize böyle dendi: 21 Haziran’da gideceksiniz; pazar günü.” 21 Haziran’da zaten
gidemedik. Sonra bakt›k olmay›nca,” herhalde dedim bir daha...” B›rakt›m yani, hayal kurmay› da
42
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
unuttum. Ya unuttum de¤il, b›rakt›m. “Olmayacak” dedim. Çünkü aradan 1,5 ay falan geçti. Ben de fley
yapmad›m... Yani, y›k›lm›flt›m.”
“Müzik markette çal›fl›rken Ayflen hocadan telefon gelince, üç müflterim beni bekliyordu,
yaflam›m›n en güzel olay›yd›. Çünkü yaflam›mda hep sorunlar, hep kavgalar vard›.”
“Projeyi ciddiye alm›flt›m. Telefon gelince de çok mutlu oldum.”
“Toplant›dan sonra aramalar›n› beklemiyordum. Haber gelince flafl›rd›m Bekleme süresi sanc›l›
oldu. Tam ümidimi yitirme s›ras›nda ça¤r›l›nca, “ciddi bir ifl” dedim.”
“ … son gündü, benim gelece¤im gün. Dedim, (arkadafl›ndan söz ediyor) “sen bilirsin,” dedim “yine
de birfley yap” dedim. “Ama fley” dedi, “kalmad›, bugün son gün”. Dedim, “Hay›rl›s› olsun, neyse olur
bir gün”. O geldi ertesi gün, bana haber verdi: “Daha sonra ça¤›r›yorlar.” O zaman çok sevindim, çünkü
ben de istiyordum. Hani “benim de böyle birfleyde yerim olmal›” dedim. ‹stiyordum, çok sevindim
geldi¤ime, hemen bindim geldim.”
Neden kat›ld›lar?
Bu projeye kat›lmay› birbirinden farkl› nedenlerle istemifller. Kimi sonunda ifl verilece¤i umuduyla,
kimi alaca¤› e¤itimin her koflulda ifle yarayaca¤› düflüncesiyle, kimi bulundu¤u s›k›nt›l› ortamdan
uzaklaflmak ve biraz nefes alabilmek için… Ço¤u alaca¤› sertifikan›n ifl bulmada sa¤layaca¤› güçten söz
etti. E¤itimden sonra yap›lacak s›navda baflar›l› olurlarsa alacaklar› sertifikaya bizim düflündü¤ümüzden
çok daha büyük bir anlam yüklemifllerdi. Sertifika, anahtar gibiydi: Niteli¤e dair belge düzgün bir
iflyerinin kap›s›n› onlara açacakt›.
“Yani sadece bilgisayar için girdim. (bilgisayar kursundan söz ediyor) ‹fl ilanlar›na bakt›m, o kadar
ifl görüflmesine gittim ama gidemedim. Hiçbirfley istemeseler bilgisayar sertifikas› istiyorlar. En az›ndan
dedim, bir tekstil ifline girsem veya … gibi, o tür yerlere ifle girsem, kendim de çal›fl›r›m. En az›ndan
kendimi toparlar›m. Çünkü öyle zamanlar oluyor ki ekmek alacak paray› bulamad›m ya. O kadar s›k›nt›
çektim, o kadar s›k›nt› çektim.”
“Sertifika al›p, ifl sahibi olmak için buraday›m.”
“Bilgisayar ö¤renmek için buraday›m.“
“Çok sevindim. Art›k çünkü böyle rezalet ifllerde çal›flmak istemem yani. Çok seviniyordum. ‹flte,
buna kat›lsam yüzde yüz bir iflim olacak. Kendimi öyle yönlendirmifltim, öyle flartland›rm›flt›m,
kat›lay›m falan. Anneme dedim, “Çok sevinçliyim anne, kat›laca¤›m.””
“Sevindim. ... En az›ndan kafam da¤›ls›n dedim, evdeki sorundan biraz uzaklaflm›fl olaca¤›m
diye.”
“‹flte ya, çok gitmek istiyordum, Yani çok sevinmifltim. ‹flte, Ankara’ya gidece¤iz falan. Ve formda
fley yaz›yordu: “‹stedi¤iniz mesleklerden iki tanesini seçin. Say›larla belirtin”. Birincisi, güzellik
uzmanl›¤›n› istiyordum, çok istiyordum. ‹kincisi bilgisayar. Herkes böyle, bilgisayar ya da kendi
bölümünü seçiyordu.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
43
“Bu benim tek tesellimdi. Olmasayd›, art›k dönüyordum. Ankara’dan de¤ildim ama seçildim. Büyük
flanst›. Kursu sertifika için istedim en çok”
“…sonuçta bir de bir sertifika. Yani ba¤l›yorsunuz, ifl güvencesi veriyorsunuz, bilmedi¤imiz
konularda bilgilendiriyorsunuz.”
“… toplant›da, elime iyi bir f›rsat geçti, bunu de¤erlendireyim, diye düflündüm.”
“Buraya gelmekteki tek amac›m, iflyerimdeki muhasebeci kad›n›n her fleyi bilmesi, ama bana,
bilgisayara dokunmama hiç izin vermemesi. ‹flyerine döndü¤ümde, “Bilgisayar biliyorum”, diyecektim.
Bana karfl› üstünlük göstermesinin alt›nda ezilmeyecektim. “Bu benim için bir flans”, dedim.”
“Kendimi gelifltirmek, haklar›m› bilip ezilmemek için buraday›m.”
“Burada iyi bir e¤itim al›p, özgüven kazanmak için bulunuyorum.”
Nas›l geldiler?
Ak›llar›nda birçok soru, yüreklerinde binbir kayg› ve kuflkuyla ç›km›fllar yola. Yol paras›n› borç al›p
gelen var. Proje’de masraflar› karfl›lanmasa gelmeleri mümkün olmayacakm›fl aç›kças›. Tedirgin
gelmifller, ne bulacaklar›na dair düflüncelerle geçmifl yolculuk. ‹lk kez tek bafl›na flehirleraras› yolculuk
yapanlar, bafllar›na birfley gelmesinden, kaybolmaktan korkup molalarda otobüsten inmeyenler…
Karfl›lay›c›lar taraf›ndan al›nana kadar Ankara’da otobüsten indi¤i noktadan k›m›ldamam›fl olan var.
“… Yurdu’ndan 2003 y›l›nda ayr›lm›flt›m. Piknikteydim. Eve gelince komflumun ald›¤› mektubu
açt›m, çok sevindim. Ama tedirgin de oldum, nas›l Ankara’ya giderim diye. Otogarda üç arkadafl
oldu¤umuzu ö¤renince sevindim.”
“…biraz para sorunu yaflad›m. Zaten aniden gönderdiler beni, paras›z falan. Didindim geldim. ….
“Zaten her fleyi karfl›l›yorlarm›fl”, dedim.”
“Namus meselesine korktum. Kap›lar, gece güvencemiz önemli, bilirsiniz. Dedemgil tedirgin oldu.
“Yapabilir misin?” dediler. Ben, “fiimdi evin erke¤i benim, her yere giderim” dedim. Annem bize
güvenir, zaten onlar› konuflturmaz. Bize önceden sahip ç›ksalard›, flimdi konuflurlard›.”
“Çal›flt›¤›m ve annemle kald›¤›m için, para s›k›nt›m›z› düflünmem gerekti. Biletlerin Projeden
karfl›lanaca¤›n› bilmiyordum. Annem borç buldu, öyle gelebildim.”
“Otobüse binince korktuk, heyecanland›k (beraber geldi¤i arkadafl›n›n ismini söylüyor) ….’le
beraber. Hocay› görünce çok mutlu olduk. (Otobüs terminalinde onlar› karfl›layan Ayflen KARAKULAK’›
görmekten söz ediyor.)”
“Arabaya bindi¤imde, buraya gelirken, insanlar› böyle düflünmemifltim. ‹nsanlar çok s›cak, çok iyi.
Yaflam›m sonsuza dek böyle sürsün istiyorum.”
“Otelde güvende hissettim kendimi, yurttaki gibi. … Ankara’da endifleliydim. Ama paran olursa
sorun olmad›¤›n› ö¤rendim. Ankara’da yurttan birisi olmadan bir bafl›ma olmak beni ürkütebilirdi.”
44
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
“Yolda alt› kifli birlikte geldik. Hepimiz arkadaflt›k. Tek bafl›ma gelseydim, düflünme f›rsat›m
olabilirdi. Heyecanlanmad›m. E¤er bir sorun olsayd›, SHÇEK’i arard›m, kalaca¤›m yerin numaras›n›
bulur, hallederdim”
Kendinizi nas›l özel hissedersiniz?
Hepsi, onlar› karfl›layan Proje temsilcisinin gülen yüzü, s›cak yaklafl›m›yla karfl›laflt›ktan sonra
korku ve kayg›lar›n›n sona erdi¤ini anlatt›. “Kendini özel hissetmek” de ilk burada bafllam›fl.
Karfl›land›klar› andan e¤itimin sonuna kadar, Proje ekibi ve e¤itimcilerin davran›fllar›ndan çok
etkilenmifller. Hemen hepsi “ilk kez kendilerini özel, önemli hissettiklerini”, “de¤erli olduklar›n›n
fark›na vard›r›ld›klar›n›”, “sayg› gördüklerini” tekrar tekrar söylediler, mutluluklar›n› büyük ölçüde bu
gerekçeye dayand›rd›lar.
“Ayflen hocan›n s›cakl›¤›, bizi önemli ve de¤erli bulduklar› anlam›na geldi.”
“Bize biz oldu¤umuz için, oldu¤umuz gibi davranan tek grup (Proje Çal›flma Grubu’ndan söz
ediyor) bu grup. … Bu nedenle ‹fiKUR’a teflekkür ederim”
Konaklama flflaartlar›
Otelde, iki kiflilik odalarda kalmak flafl›rtm›fl, mutlu etmiflti. Otel yönetimi ve personelinin ölçülü,
sayg›l› ve çok içten davran›fllar› da öyle.
“Daha kötü bir yer bekliyordum, lüks bir yerdeyim. Yaflant›ma göre çok lüks bir yer buras›. Her
fleyimiz var; TV, bilgisayar, yemek… Hal›s›z, yat›l› okul, ranza, haftada iki gün banyo bekliyordum. Her
gün s›cak su var. Her fley önümüze gelince, ter dökmeden, çabas›z olunca, flikayet etmek ay›p.”
“…otel “Bekleyin, oda temizlenip verilecek” deyince, bize de¤er verildi¤ini gösterdi¤i için çok
heyecanland›m.”
“Yani, nas›l diyeyim, buray› hiç böyle zannetmiyordum; otelde kalaca¤›z falan. Hep böyle, genelde
gitti¤imiz yerlerde böyle, nas›l diyeyim, otel de¤il de, … yuva gibi yurt gibi bir yerde kalaca¤›m›z›
zannediyordum. Çünkü her gitti¤imiz yerde mutlaka ya yurtta ya da yuvada kal›rd›k. … Hani burayla
ilgili öyle genifl bir hayalim de yoktu. Böyle düflündü¤üm gibi de olmad› aç›kças›. Çok da iyi oldu.”
“… böyle oldu¤unu bilmiyordum. Her fley çok güzel, çok disiplinli, çok güzel bir flekilde
ayarlanm›fl, düflünülmüfl... Yani bizi rahat ettirebilmek için ne gerekiyorsa düflünülmüfl. Ben size çok
teflekkür ediyorum bundan dolay›. Ve bütün samimiyetimle dile getiriyorum.”
“Birbirimizi anlad›k, ayn› yerden gelmiflfliiz”
Program›n ilk günlerinde nefleli ama tedirginlerdi. Kald›klar› otel personeli ve gidecekleri sosyal
etkinliklerde karfl›laflacaklar› insanlar “yurt çocuklar›” olduklar›n› bilsin istemiyorlard›. Foto¤raf ve
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
45
video çekimlerimizde izin almam›zdan çok memnun olmufllard›. Medyadan, toplumda kendileri ve
yak›nlar› için deflifre edilmekten korkuyorlard›; kötü deneyimleri vard›. Nitekim, medyan›n ilk sertifika
törenindeki tutumu ile, insan›, hayat›n›, duygular›n› yoksayman›n nas›l can yakt›¤›na içerden tan›kl›k
ettik.
E¤itim dönemi, yeni arkadafll›klara, yeni dost edinmelere vesile oldu.
“Ayr› yurtlardan geldik diye gruplaflmalar olur, so¤ukluk olur diye çekinmifltim. Ama sahiplenme
iyi oldu. Birbirimizi anlad›k, çünkü hepimiz ayn› fleyi yaflam›fl›z, ayn› yerden gelmifliz.”
“‹lk gün, kim demiflti, “Belki güzel dostluklar edineceksiniz”, falan... Tam benim a¤z›ma doldu bu
laf. Hani dost kazanmam›z için daha çok fley paylaflmam›z gerekir, daha çok zaman geçirmemiz gerekir,
ve hiç kimseyi tan›m›yorduk. Belki iyi arkadafl olabiliriz... Hani “arkadafl” olabiliriz... Belki
görüfltü¤ümüz zaman daha bir s›cak, samimiyet olur. Ama “dost” olmak, “dost” kazanmak zor. … Tam
a¤z›ma doldu bunlar, ama söyleyemedim, söylemedim, öyle kald›. fiimdi k›zlarla daha bir tan›flt›k, her
fley daha bir güzel oldu. Bu fikrimin yavafl yavafl de¤iflti¤ini görüyorum. ‹yi ki söylememiflim bunlar› o
zaman, belki arkadafllar›m› rencide edebilirmiflim. ‹yi ki de söylememiflim.”
Ve e¤itimler…
Kat›ld›klar› program, mesleki e¤itim, güçlendirme e¤itimi ve sosyal etkinliklerden olufluyordu.
E¤itimler için hem çok fley söylediler hem de de¤erlendirme formlar›na çok fley yazd›lar. Kimi için
ö¤rendikleri yeniydi, kimi için e¤itimcilerin kendilerine yaklafl›m› hofl. Baz›s› program›n çok yorucu
oldu¤unu, baz›s› hayat›n›n de¤iflti¤ini söylüyordu. E¤itimcilerden çok memnunlard›. ‹flte birkaç örnek:
“Bence e¤itimler çok çok iyi. … Ben bunlar›, ek dersleri beklemiyordum, sadece bilgisayar görüp
gidece¤iz, onlar› bekliyordum. Yani, gerçekten bence çok çok iyi. Yani, böyle düflünmeleri... Nereden
gelmifl, kimin akl›na gelmifl? Hiç benim akl›ma gelmezdi mesela. ‹yi ki de düflünmüfller böyle birfleyi.”
“Konuflmam, hareketlerim de¤iflti. Sertifikam olacak. (ailesinden söz ediyor) Ben nerde ifl bulursam,
oraya gidece¤iz. Baflvurdu¤um yer yüzde 90 beni al›r diye düflünüyorum.”
“‹lk hafta benim için çok önemliydi. Hiçbirfley bilmedi¤imi gördüm. O kadar yaflamama karfl›n,
hiçbirfley bilmedi¤imi gördüm. Geçmiflte ne yapt›m, flimdi ne yap›yorum, nas›l bir iflte çal›flmal›y›m,
haklar›m neler, ö¤rendim. ‹flveren bana haklar›m› vermezse, ne yapmal›y›m ö¤rendim.”
“…Tüm eksiklerimi burada tamamlad›m diye düflünüyorum. Bir büyü¤üm ya da yafl›t›mla nas›l
konuflaca¤›m› ö¤rendim, korkmamay› ö¤rendim, önceden baz› fleyleri az biliyorum, karfl›mdaki tepki
gösterir diye korkuyordum.”
“(E¤itimlerle Türkiye’nin gelece¤i aras›nda bir iliflki kuruyor) …bayanlar için biraz daha ilerleyecek
san›r›m çünkü en az›ndan 23 kifli daha, daha ileri görüfllü. Kendilerini erkeklerle ayn› seviyede belki de
daha onlardan daha iyi görecekler. Bu kursa girenler fark›nda oldular en az›ndan yani gitgide iyiye gider
bence”
46
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
“Her genç ifl hayat›na at›lmadan önce güçlenme e¤itiminden geçmeli”
Proje kapsam›nda gerçeklefltirilen güçlenme e¤itimi ile yurtta yani kurumda yetiflmifl, genç k›z ve
deneyimsiz iflçiler olmalar›ndan do¤abilecek sorunlarla bafledebilmekte ifllerine yarayabilecek bilgiler
edinmeleri, kurum ve kurulufllar› tan›malar› hedeflenmiflti. Yapt›¤›m›z görüflmeler bu e¤itimin
gerçekten güçlendirici etki yapt›¤›n› gösterdi. Örne¤in, hemen hepsi, program devam ederken girdikleri
memuriyet s›navlar›nda kendinden memnundu ve baflar›s›n› bu e¤itime ba¤l›yordu.
“Proje çok mükemmel. … Siz, “yapaca¤›z, olur” dedi¤inizi yapt›n›z. Bana iyi geldi. Ürküntülerim,
korkular›m olmad›. Ümidim, kurstan sertifika almak ve … Üniversitesi’nde ifle girmek. … eve dönmeye
karar vermifltim. Kendime güvenim artt›. Sertifikam olacak. S›navda da iyi oldum. Heyecan›ma ra¤men
iyiydim.”
“Güçlendirme dersini farkl› düflünüyordum, farkl› buldum. Örne¤in evlenmekten korkard›m,
iletiflim kurmaktan korkard›m. fiimdi, kendimi geliflmifl hissediyorum. Nas›l davranmam gerekti¤ini
daha iyi biliyorum. ‹fle giriflte yapmam gerekenleri ö¤rendim.”
“Gençlerin hayatta, ifl yaflam›na at›lmadan önce mutlaka böyle bir e¤itim almalar› gerekir. Çünkü
hepsi de hayat›m›zda gerekli olan derslerdi.”
“Birçok konu ve konuyla ilgili kurumlar› ziyaret ederek bilgi sahibi olduk. Hepsi yaflam›m›zda
önemli olan fleylerdi. Hem ifl hayat›n› hem de çal›flan insanlar›n ne zorlukta veya yapmak istedikleri
fleyleri kanl› canl› izleme flans›m›z oldu ve çal›flmak kadar olmasa da baz› fleylerin fark›na vard›k. “
“Mesela, ben eflimle ayr›lmaya kalkm›flt›m. Dilekçe vermifltim. … Ablama dedim ki “Ben bunu
nereden karfl›layabilirim, avukat› nas›l bulabilirim?” Barolar! Hocaya sordum ki, dedi ki “Maddi
durumu olmayanlar için bizden hukuki yard›m istenebilir. Barolar’dan yard›m alabilirsin. Kad›n yard›m
derneklerine gidebilirsin.” falan dedi. Birçok fleyler ö¤rendik yani yasalarla ilgili.”
“E¤itim güzel gerçekten kaliteli. Güçlendirme e¤itimi özellikle. Birçok fley ö¤rendik. Örne¤in kad›n
haklar›ndan var ya bir sürü fley ö¤rendim. Geçen gün niflanl›ma söylüyorum, “ben” diyorum, “haklar›m›
ö¤rendim” diyorum, “ben art›k o kadar kolay de¤il” diyorum. “Sen oraya niye gitmiflsin yahu” diyor,
“dilin uzam›fl senin” diyor.(gülüyor) Yani birçok fley ö¤rendim. Hiçbirimiz bu kadar›n› bilmiyorduk.
Kim biliyorum diyorsa yalan söylüyor. Hiçbirimiz bu kadar›n› bilmiyorduk. Kulaktan dolma fley yani
bizimkiler.”
“‹fle girmeden önce hukuksal haklar›n› bilmek, iflyerinde nas›l davranmak gerekti¤ini bilmek
aç›s›ndan çok önemli. Kad›nlar›n haklar›n› bilmesi de benim için çok önemliydi.”
“‹fl konusunda bofl beklememeyi ö¤rendim, kendimi ezdirmemeyi.”
“... Daha önce dedi¤im gibi, kendimi savunsam bile nereye flikayet edece¤imi bilmiyordum. Ama flu
anda mesela, biri birfley yapsa veya fley yapsa, karakola gidece¤imi veya polise veya jandarmaya
gidece¤imi biliyorum flu anda. … Çok korkard›m eskiden.”
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
47
fifiiimdi hayata daha bir haz›rlar…
Program onlar› olumlu etkiledi. Proje Çal›flma Grubu’ndan çok etkilenmifller, onlarla güvenli
iliflkiler kurmufllar, onlarda yeni rol modelleri bulmufllard›. Son de¤erlendirmeleri çok olumluydu,
flimdi kendilerini hayata daha bir haz›r hissediyorlard›. ‹ki fley kesindi, onlar›n ifadesiyle, kendilerine
güven gelmiflti ve art›k SHÇEK d›fl›ndan gelen ça¤r›lar› da dikkate alacaklard›. Ço¤u, devlet d›fl›ndaki ifl
olanaklar›yla ilgilenmeye bafllayaca¤›n› belirtti. Daha sonra özel sektörde ifle girenler bunun bofl söz
olmad›¤›n› do¤rulad›.
“Asl›nda ilk bafllarda, sertifika alamam diye gelmek istemiyordum. Ama iyi ki gelmiflim. K›zlardan
ve hocalardan çok fley ö¤rendim.”
“‹lk baflta, ben buraya gelmeden önce, çok utangaç bir k›zd›m. Bir kere onu yendim. Çok heyecan
yapard›m. Mesela, meslek kursu dersinde böyle ç›k›p anlat›yoruz, mesela, f›kra veya da konuflma
haz›rlad›¤›m›z zaman kalk›p anlat›yoruz. Ben onu yapamazd›m, çok heyecanlan›rd›m, ama flu anda
yapabiliyorum. O heyecan›m› da yendim. Yani burada ö¤rendi¤im çok fley oldu.”
“Buraya gelirken sert kiflilerle karfl›laflmaktan korkuyordum. Annem gibi insanlarla karfl›lafl›nca
flafl›rd›m. ‹lk karfl›laflt›¤›mda, baz› arkadafllar çok tuhaf›ma gitti. Sonra al›flt›m. Baflaramamaktan
kayg›l›yd›m. ‹fle girebilmek, büyük hayalim, gerçekleflebilecekti.”
“…e¤itim görünce konuflmam birazc›k tatl›laflt›, bilgim artt›. Bir sürü olumlu yönü var olumsuz
birfley yok. … ‹nsanlarla iliflkilerimin daha iyi olaca¤›na inan›yorum. Beden dilini ö¤rendik art›k, yani
biliyordum da çok çok az, bu kadar de¤il. ‹nsanlar›n benim hakk›mda ne düflündüklerini biliyorum,
sonra kad›n haklar›ndan biliyorum, baya bir üzerinde durduk, ama durulmas› gerekiyor zaten. … ‹fl
görüflmelerinde sonra, birileriyle diyalog kurarken, ö¤rencilerimi mesela, daha iyi e¤itece¤ime
inan›yorum art›k.”
“Olumlu etkilendim. Kad›n haklar›n›, korumam gereken haklar›m›, üreme sa¤l›¤› ve ifl ve meslek
hayat›na iliflkin ö¤rendiklerimi yaflam›ma geçirip iflime yans›taca¤›m. Buraya çok al›flt›m. Program çok
güzel ama, iletiflim, çat›flma çözmeyi daha çok ifllensin isterdim. Toplumda nas›l davranmam›z
gerekti¤ini ö¤retin isterdim. Toplant› kurallar›n› ve bofl zamanlar› de¤erlendirme için öneriler
beklerdim. Sosyal hizmet uzman›m›z Ahmet hoca gibi olmak isterdim. Düflünceleri, davran›fllar› vb.
fleyleri çok be¤eniyorum. Ama flimdi ben de onun gibi olabilirim diye düflünüyorum.”
“…Ma¤azada tezgahtarl›k yaparken bu Projeye kat›ld›m. Milli E¤itim s›nav›n› kazand›m,
memuriyete bafllayaca¤›m, hayat›m kurtuldu.”
48
Anneme Beyaz Elbiseler Giydirece¤im
Güncellendirme e¤itiminden...
From the empowerment training
Haftal›k toplant›...
Weekly meetings
‹fl ve meslek dan›flmanl›¤›...
Guidance and career consultancy
T.C.
ÇALIŞMA VE SOSYAL GÜVENLİK BAKANLIĞI
K–Q
TSE - ISO - EN
9000
TÜRKİYE İŞ KURUMU GENEL MÜDÜRLÜĞÜ
SUPPORT FOR INSTITUTION BUILDING IN THE FIELD OF HUMAN
RESOURCES DEVELOPMENT
PARTICIPANTS ARE SPEAKING:
‘I AM GOING TO DRESS UP MY MUM WITH
WHITE DRESSES…’
‹lknur ÜSTÜN
S.Nazik IfiIK
Turkish Employment Organisation (‹fiKUR)
European Training Foundation (ETF)
March 2006, Ankara
FOREWORD
We are presenting to you the two books, which we anticipated them to be permanent and a
reference, of the Project which is proposed to the European Training Foundation in order to support
the "Project of Active Employment Measures and Technical Support to ISKUR at a Local Level" which
our Institution demanded from the European Commission for the disadvantageous target groups for the
year 2006 with a view to strengthening the employment strategies in line with the targets of the
European Employment Strategy.
In this project, a working method was applied which shall serve an example for the development of
the national employment policies and action plans for making the disadvantagepus groups integrated
into the labour market. The fact that the the group which was selected as the beneficiary of the project
contains more than one disadvantage led our Institution to cooperate as a priority with the Institution
of Social Services and Child Protection and Ministry of National Education at the level of policy making. On the other side, an example for cooperating with the non-governmental organizations as a
public institution was given.
The Project ensured that our Institution met a new disadvatageous group and the vocational
trainings offered within the scope of the Project shall ensure that the women become stronger in the
labour market. That it covers a training program which extends from vocation and job consultancy to
gender roles opened a new horizon for the works which shall be performed for these groups in the
future.
On the other hand, reviewing the book named "The Praticipants are Speaking" in your hand
together with the "Project Handbook" which is the main output of the Project shall explain why we
should show different approaches to the disadvantageous groups and the required clues to eliminate this
difference in the words of the group itself.
I am thanking to the young people who participated into our Project, the European Training
Foundation, the institutions, organizations, non-governmental organizations and the persons that
contributed to our Project, on behalf of ISKUR. I hope the work carried out here will serve a beneficial
example for the similar works to be conducted in the future.
Nam›k ATA
Acting Director General
L
FOREWORD
As a preparation for the design of a proposal for EC support in 2006, ISKUR’s requested in 2005
support from ETF for the implementation of a project focusing on active measures, like vocational
guidance, counselling and training for a selected group of girls hosted by SHÇEK, the Sosyal Hizmetler
and Çocuk Esirgeme Kurumu (SHÇEK)
The objective of the project were to build capacity of ISKUR staff in:
• Enhancing ISKUR’s inter-institutional co-operation and policy making capacity;
• Promoting targeted services to specific disadvantaged groups;
• Facilitating and evaluating active labour market measures for special target groups.
The ultimate objective of the project was to facilitate policy learning and transfer lessons learned
from this pilot initiative to actions for other target groups and large scale programmes (like the one to
be submitted to the EC in 2006).
This project built on the experience gained through the 2004 ETF’s Konya project in analysing the
demand of the labour market, and included the organisation of vocational guidance and training and it
was carried in close consultation with social partners.
This report is aimed at assessing the impact of the project from the point of view of the participants.
European Training Foundation (ETF)
LI
CONTENTS PAGE
INTRODUCTION ................................................................................................................................LIV
FIRST CHAPTER....................................................................................................................................57
Poor children, orphanage kids, girls
Poor children
- First poverty…
- Family relations tied on a thread
-You were born poor, are you going to die poor?
Orphanage kids
- Everyone comes from their own path…
• They came in all ages…
• Reasons…
• Mentors: teachers, head masters, prayer leaders, district officials …
• There are those that know how they came and there are also does that do not …
- The pain of leaving family: it takes time to get used to…
- An orphan is “the state’s children”, whereas a family is “ a dream and a warm home”
- Everyone’s family relations are their concern…
- Replacing feelings: “not having anyone and belonging to no one” is replaced by “looking
after each other”…
- The relationship with society is full of ache, pain and limits …
- Who is going to shoulder the weight of being an “orphanage kid”?
- For girls, an alternative to an orphanage is, no school, early marriage, and lots of kids..
- The resources of the orphanage is a dream away from the family’s resources.…
- The orphanage makes you a struggler, but doesn’t teach you the price of bread
- Those that leave a mark, for better or worse: Employees of the orphanage
Girls
- Being a girl, and always being under control…
- Violence, violence is everywhere…
- The belief that “working empowers woman””
SECOND CHAPTER ..............................................................................................................................75
Employment: Hopes, Expectations, Problems…
Why do they want to work?
- You work for yourself, for knowledge and for experience …
- Those that wants to work for themselves and their families…
- Those that wants to contribute to the State and the orphanage …
LII
Whey and how do they want to work?
- The jobs they dream about are in the private sector …
Current job experiences, are weighted towards the informal sector?
- Job sectors are varied…
- They have usually worked outside the normal standards …
• The only norm is that there no rules: Low and infrequent wages, no social security…
• Sexual assault and being under the threat of sexual assault
• Sexual assault in the work place is common and complaints are rare…
• Sending sexual messages to the clients…
-
A good employer is someone that treats me nicely …
What makes them disadvantaged?
- They don’t use and don’t know about institutionalised job search channels …
- Not obtaining jobs with security: “I have no backing”
- To benefit from career consultancy services …
- Having an advantage is significant in competition: “everybody is a high school graduate,
everybody is …”
- “We would have taken you in if you were a man.”
- Once again an orphanage kid, once again prejudices, once again not belonging to, and being
open to assault
- Having no knowledge on working life and rights…
THIRD CHAPTER ..................................................................................................................................87
Expectations from the Project, Gains from the Project
They have met ‹fiKUR through this Project…
How did they hear about the Project?
We met in the regional meetings…
Then, the long wait that breaks hope…
Why did they participate?
How they arrived
How do you feel special?
Accommodation rules
“We understood each other; we were coming from the same place”
And trainings…
“All the young people should take the strengthening classes prior to starting their jobs”
Now they are more ready for life…
LIII
INTRODUCTION
“…We don’t want them to know and they still have no idea. We stayed in an
orphanage, that’s the way it was… Actually, I would have liked to have said so. I
mean, nobody fully knows why, and who stays in orphanages, and for what reason
they are staying there. Even in Erzincan people were asking weird questions like
‘‘is that place private, are you paying for it’’. Or they would say ‘‘no, homeless people are staying there’’. To say… there it is: ‘‘you stayed in an orphanage, where did
you stay?’’; ‘‘In Erzincan’’ ‘‘I stayed in an orphanage’’, I couldn’t say it, every time
somebody asked me this question, my heart would start beating faster and I would
feel boiling water running through my back, and I would loose track of things to
say’’. It doesn’t make a difference for me. I would say it, but nobody really understands it and they start looking at me differently…’’
These are the words of one of our participants who explained the difficulties of growing up in an
orphanage. We have conversed with 70 girls like her, during their education, on issues such as
poverty, growing up in an orphanage, and the difficulties of being a girl in general and in the work place.
With these disadvantages, we saw and heard about how life, which can already be challenging, can
get even harder. Through this project, we wanted to share what we experienced with all the related
parties. With his book, we tried to present what it is like for a poor girl raised in an orphanage goes
through while trying to access the job market. Because, this book is trying to capture the solution to the
following question: Why is there a need to formulate different approaches to disadvantaged groups?
The project had two main concepts: being disadvantaged and employment.
Turkish Employment Organisation (‹fiKUR) via this project, is aiming to create equality of gender
and support to the disadvantaged groups on the entrance to the job market have tried to increase the
cooperation between governmental institutions and organisations, NGOs, social organisations with
local employers, in addition to the development and creation of special services directed to identified
disadvantaged groups, generation of active employment precautions for the target group; as well as to
analyse these first trials and establish employment services that can also be used on other groups. This
project is the result of a vision of two women that have proved that dreams can become a reality. They
are Ayflen Karakulak from ‹fiKUR and S. Nazik Ifl›k from Non-Governmental Organisations.
The Project starts with the human element, the target group and the technical team that implements
the project. It is completed somehow with its rights and its wrongs. We have created this book to
commemorate the stories told with the aim of the Project and to highlight that the Project has been
established for these people only. From its commencement, this project has been run with the
participations of ‹fiKUR, Ministry of Education, SHCEK and experts from NGOs. This book has also
benefited from such support. The discussions that had taken place on by the working group, during the
project’s analysis meetings have also shed a light to the preparation of this book.
Our book aims to present snapshots from the background of the project’s duration and at least show
a glimpse of how one can be affected by the stories of the participants. At the same time the significance
levied on the Project by the participants, their expectations, hopes, worries, their viewpoints and
approaches on their past and their existing social status as well as, how they are currently effected by it.
LIV
Our method was through half constructed interview forms and face to face meetings. Although we
have stayed true to the general frame of the topic, we have drifted slightly according to the stories voiced
by each participant. The interview that have been taken as core in book, has been constructed by the
following three female experts (‹lknur ÜSTÜN, Gül ERDOST ve S.Nazik IfiIK), in the participant’s hotel.
During the project we thoroughly interviewed 70 girls aged between 17 to 29 from General
directorate on Social Services and Child Protection (GDSSCP). Some are them are still residing in the
GDSSCP. Interviews couldn’t be conducted with two of the participants that have left without
completing their education.Our interview form had five main headings: personal information,
information on the time spent in the orphanage, the Project period and concluding analysis. Therefore,
we received information on themselves, their families, the life in the orphanage, life at work and the
related information as well as, their relation to the project, their analysis, being a girl, an orphan,
working and the what sort of a link they form between their experiences and being a girl. Although the
life they lead has been hard to shoulder, the glimpse of hope they experienced via the project has been
an exciting experience.
All of the interviews have been conducted in Ankara during the academic year, consecutively
during June and August 2005, where participants were divided into three groups. The first week of each
participant in Ankara has been a left for a period of trust creating exercises where they spent time to
meet, and trust us. Therefore, we the interviews you are about to read have been conducted in the
second week of each participant, while they were in Ankara.
Each conversation took between 40 minutes and 3 hours, average taking one to one and a half
hours. On 47 of them we used sound recorders whereas as, on the remaining 23 we took notes. In the
beginning, using voice recorders made some participants uncomfortable, however, as the sessions went
on, we noticed that they began to feel more at ease. Although, two or three participant had stated that
they couldn’t talk comfortably to recorders, they didn’t ask us to turn it off. We turned off the machines
when they told us very discreet information that they didn’t want to be recorded. There were times when
we had to make breaks between the conversation, where issues on their families and the time when they
first arrived in the orphanage came up. It hasn’t been easy period for us as well, it still isn’t.
We continuously asked the girls how they would feel about their names and pictures being printed
in the book. Apart from one or two people, none of them were enthusiastic. All of them were
immensely cautious due to their uneasy past experiences. Selflessly they stated that
they “wouldn’t
want to affect their brothers and sisters that have formed a life outside”. As we learned more about the
exclusions that come with being an orphan, we increasingly agreed them. This is the reason why we
haven’t provided the names of 70 girls. Although we know that as they read this book, they will find and
identify themselves.
Interviews were conducted one to one, in the time left from their trainings and at times that were
appropriate to them, with prior appointments. Therefore, they were some times held at the early hours
of the morning, and also on their break times, late at night. Participants have also explained a great deal
with their body language as well as with their words. They have showed sadness, excitement, things that
makes them happy, in addition to the aspects that they find it hard to share, and in some cases did not
want to tell, were shown in their face gestures and hand movements. In this book, we could only reflect
a friction of things we saw.
LV
The breakdown of the interviews were a sensitive process, and took a long time. The participants
had told us very discreet information, on the condition that we promised to keep them. Equally, we
didn’t compromise them, during the examination of the recordings. We owe our deep gratitude to
‹fiKUR during this process. We didn’t have many comments on the book as we wanted the majority to
be the words of the participants. Therefore the book is called “Participants are speaking: I’m going to
dress up my mum with white dresses”. The basic analysis of our examinations was founded, on the life
in an orphanage, being a girl and working life. We focused on the majority rather than on individual
situations. In the first section of the book we had to refer to “being poor, being an orphan, and being a
girl”. This is due to the participant’s emphasis on disadvantages of poverty, immaturity, growing up in
an orphanage, being a girl and the entangled issues of all kinds of social exclusions. In the second
chapter we tried to show employment in terms of its disadvantages and the girl’s needs. The third,
therefore the last section is devoted to the project’s journey.
Unfortunately, in this book, we couldn’t reflect on the results of the employment aspect of the
project. However, within the scope of the project we found out that after their training, the participants
have entered civil servant exams and applied to various positions and had fully utilised their experiences
and the things they have learned. We also couldn’t follow the working procedures of ‹fiKUR’s regional
offices, to a great degree. Nevertheless, we are certain that pursuing and examining the experiences of
regional offices and the participants would have been immensely enlightening and useful.
As a result, our aim in this book is not to create any boundaries, but to show that obstacles can be
tackled with extraordinary means. Through the eyes of the participants, we tried to present the limited
amount of people that the project has touched and the value that the project gained through its
participants. This is a very significant issue, as in some of the governmental projects, the participants
become invisible. Actually, where there is a human aspect, our contact, our means, and ways should be
examined and acknowledged so that it can shed a light to the similar studies. In this viewpoint we
wanted to open a path of employment service that embraces all people, without any discrimination. We
hope that we have made a contribution to this point, however small that may be. This book has also
shown that, the participants required more psychological work then was previously foreseen, in
addition to the value of the atmosphere and approach that was created in this project.
This book has been prepared with the cooperation of two women. Within this phase we were
supported by the people in the working group of this Project. But mostly from our participants, from
Gül Erdost that had worked with us during the interviews and from Ayflen Karakulak whom has
supported us through out the project. Our participants have understood both what we were trying to
achieve and our respectful and honest approach. And believed that what we were trying to start would
be beneficial not only to their generation but also the next. Özüm Dinçer, analysed out interview tapes
with great speed and precision, added us in our contest against time. A method was not foreseen to lift
the weight of the Project. Therefore, the ones that are the closest have witnessed this weight, meaning
firstly our families, our partners and children and our close friends. We are grateful for these people.
For reading and commenting on our written work we thank ‹. Tayfun Üstün for sharing the path the
Project had followed we would like to take this opportunity to thank Serpil Sancar and Aksu Bora.
‹lknur ÜSTÜN - S.Nazik IfifiIIK
December 2005, Ankara
LVI
CHAPTER ONE
Poor Children,
Orphanage Kids,
Girls
“…I feel really safe here. We didn’t have a home.
When I was 6 and 7 I used to dress up like a boy and live next to walls. Sometimes,
I was going to my family.
My dad was paralysed. He died a year ago. My mother is retarded. I have 3 brothers and
3 sisters. Apart from 3 of them all of the others are disabled. I applied to the orphanage
when I was 13.
I learned about it as I was passing through the male orphanage. I went to GDSSCP
regional office and applied, I got in two year later, I was happy when I got accepted. A safe
place, a warm home and warm food made me happy. I started school when I was 10 years
old.
Now I am in 8th grade. I can not tell you the pain I went through. I am going to take in
my family and make warm food.
Especially, I am going to dress up my mum with white dresses.
I always dream of this…”
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Poor children
Being a poor kid, an orphan and a girl disadvantaged them three times. Those that could remember
the time when they first came to the orphanage, remember a hard and painful period. However, their
sentences continues with; “thank heavens that I was given to an orphanage, or…” “I couldn’t learn to
read”, or “I would be married now, and have kids of my own”, except for a few instances, the common
point of all of the stories is poverty. The story of their lives begun with poverty. The main reason for
them to “end up in an orphanage” is being born into poor families.
Although being a poor kid is a reality, there are also other realities. For instance, where they came
from, there are also poor families that decide to keep their children. In their realities, there are aspects
like “lack of education”, “dissolving social structure and value”, and “losing one of the parents”. On the
majority of instances, what starts with divorce, or the loss of one of the parents, has lead to other
divisions. Relationships within the family can be like a thin piece of thread, that is there one day and
isn’t in the next. Therefore, our girls were poor, weren’t supported by their families and also lacked the
cooperation that poor people formed. This has not just had a deep impact on their path to the
orphanage, but also on their journey outside of the orphanage.
- Firstly poverty…
“…the condition of our family wasn’t good, we didn’t even have a table. Within this group, I am in
the worst conditions. Also, I am in the worst condition in the orphanage, all my friends know it…no
matter how many houses I went to, the worst one was our one …”
“…My dad had recently passed away, our financial situation wasn’t good. When he first died, you
feel empty, your head isn’t where it should be. Also they thought about our future. My dad had just
passed away, my mum was young, my sisters were very young, we were also young, I was going to third
grade. 3 months later my uncle died. Therefore they had to give us away to home, and we stayed 5 and
a half years there…”
“… my brother, is staying Istanbul, in the Youth home . I have another sister, she is studying…in
our house there are 5 to 6 people. Actually with my mum we are eight people, seven brothers and
sisters and my mum, it makes eight. I have a brother. He is working in a company, he will be a host. I
also have a sister. She was working in a textile company, but they wouldn’t pay her and so she left, and
didn’t go any longer. She left this summer. I also have a brother. He is looking for work, but he can’t
find any…The local council and neighbours are helping us out, that’s the way it is. And one of my
brothers came home with financial and non financial aid. He drops by every three to four months…”
“…while we were in the orphanage, my mother earned her living by looking after a paralysed
woman, for a six months, a long time... and then she looked after the kid of a doctor. And then found
a job in the textiles. She did a lot of jobs; washed dishes, stairs, looked after children, was a secretary…
she did everything. But of course she is a widow …”
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59
- Family relations tied on a thread
“… From my family, my uncle my granddad, we didn’t receive any support from anyone. I mean,
up to now nobody supported us. Only our mother from our family supported us, she was the only one
there…”
“…I really wanted to go to university, but I didn’t have the resources. I mean, there was nobody to
help me, back me…actually I don’t have anyone…In overseas, in Germany, I have lots of relatives,
uncles and aunts… but nobody helps us. For instance every summer they came here, have their holiday
and then they just leave. They stay with us, and then they leave. They never ask that these children are
in an orphanage, what do they need, how does this poor woman look after seven kids?”
“… My dad was a chauffeur, he knew lots of people. Our situation was good. And then he started
feeling bad, his foot started hurting, he couldn’t get out of bed…he went to the hospital and stayed there
for two months. The doctor said “take him away”. My uncle’s son was a doctor, and he helped us. But
how helpful can relatives be? For instance, my uncle is doing well. His son is a doctor, other son a
teacher and the other is a civil servant, but I have never even seen his house or his family. For instance,
I have another uncle and he is map engineer. But what help is he to us? I thing people are living for their
own benefit. We lost contact after my dad died. We didn’t go them as well…”
“…due to financial difficulties, they couldn’t look after me… my family, my grandma didn’t help
my mum in any way. Doesn’t share her wealth with us… here were quarrels everyday. I heard fights
everyday since second grade. My fathers mum and my mother never got on. My mum didn’t get on with
my aunts as well. They somehow always excluded her. According to my mum they were wrong and vice
versa…because my dad was the eldest son, everyone gave importance to him and therefore to as us. I
think they were really jealous…jealousy leads to numerous ugly things. I remember very clearly they
said the following to my mother: “our ox has died, the partnership is finished, get out” There are seven
kids…and then my mother gives… two of her kids to an orphanage…one year later, five of my
brothers… she asks us whether we want to go…we are in the village… we have only one house…(she
points out a place) there is space as large as this, five children are staying in this place. The toilet and
bath is outside…”
- You were born poor, are you going to die poor?
“…I had passed the exam of the military school. That gave me a lot of hope. Because I came in the
first place. The major said that “we will definitely take you”…but it didn’t happen, it didn’t happen
because of money...it happened the following way, I won the exam but lacked some of the written
documentation, and I needed money for that, how can I say this identification material… I went to the
local council (neighbourhood executive officer), they asked for 10 YTL and plus 2 YTL. I didn’t even
had 0,50 YTL. I explained the situation said that I was coming from an orphanage, they didn’t even think
about it. Just said that they were doing their job. On the other hand the current officer didn’t take any
money, and just prepared the papers. Didn’t even ask ‘If I was staying in an orphanage, or what my story
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was”. Even though I had explained the situation. She didn’t help me, she was a lady. I told the major
the about the situation. I called him and said that I didn’t have the means, although I have won, “I need
money to do it. But I can’t also take it from anyone”. There are five days left for my brother’s payday,
and he can’t take a loan from anyone, especially in a city like Ankara, because we didn’t know anyone
at the time. We really didn’t know anybody. My brother had a really tough time, it was very difficult to
see him like that”.
Orphanage kids
- Everyone comes from their own path…
Although the arrival stories of children in to the orphanage, as many common aspects, they differ
in terms of their age, reasons, and the means of their entrance. Their information on that day and their
thoughts are equally diverse, for instance the entrance age differs between 6 months to 16 years. Reasons
vary between poverty, loss of a parent, divorce of parents, step mum-dad, compulsory migration, lack
of education and financial aid. There can be various reasons for being sent to an orphanage; in addition
the large flow of information experienced in small cities will also play a part. Most of the time, the
magnitude of poverty, as well as the violence witnessed by a teacher, head of school, government
officials or a religious head (imam), will lead to these children being taken into care. Sometimes the
person that intervenes can be a relative, a neighbour, provincial district head or even a commanding
officer. Some have also told about their dad sending them, or with the influence of relatives their mum
letting allowing them go. Two of the young girls we talked have actually applied themselves. There are
also those that do not remember how they came, those that were left playing in its garden and those that
were explained the reasons why…
• They came in all ages…
“We came when we were five months old… there are three of us. We were all left at the foot of a
bridge.”
“… I went when I was 15 years old. Firstly there was the excitement of leaving the environment in
the village, but …”
“I entered the orphanage when I was four. I have been here for 16 years… due to constant rows my
mum and dad have split up. And because my mum couldn’t look after us any longer she gave us up to
the orphanage.”
“I was nine years old, my mum had died, and they gave us to the orphanage”
• Reasons…
“… According to my mum, when I was a baby, at two years of age…my dad passed away, as a result
the governor of the provincial district told her that she couldn’t look after us anymore, and gave us to
the orphanage”
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61
“When I was around 12…we came to the orphanage. I started from the third grade. After my dad
passed away, our family condition wasn’t good, so we were sent.”
“My dad died… two years later due to financial difficulties my mum sent us. And we were in the
village at the time,… we were already having difficulties, my grandma and aunties were causing
problems for us…and we actually wanted our selves, we wanted to go to school and there was a
possibility that my mother wouldn’t send us to school/ I mean, instead of living in a village…we went
to the orphanage…”
“When I was eight years old. I have been in an orphanage for 10 years…my dad was a drug addict.
My mum and dad got separated and we were sent temporarily. And then we were left there. After my
mum got remarried we stayed …”
“My mum and dad divorced. My dad left, married someone else, left us, we were left with our mum.
And when she couldn’t look after seven children, she gave us to the orphanage…I was attending 4th
grade, was either 10 or 11 years old…my mother doesn’t have a job, she is a villager, uneducated/ our
neighbours were helping out.”
“As much as I have been told my mother is a schizophrenic. And my dad, how can I say this is,
unknown. It also says so on my id card. And then the father leaves, and the mother has to take care. In
reality, she has problems of her own. Then she leaves me when I was three months old…apparently she
was always seeing me from the hospital, how can I say it, in small intervals… and she didn’t even have
a house, she was coming from the hospital. Then, after a few months she stopped. And then she never
came again. I don’t remember anything. That’s how it was, that’s how they told me.”
• Mentors: teachers, head masters, prayer leaders, district officials …
“We are nine sisters and brothers. The reason we were in an orphanage is…I can say that we were
good student in school. Of course, there was the influence of our step mum but we didn’t want to stay
in the village and as we were successful students, the idea came from our head master. She was a woman,
and when my mum died, the things we went through after she was gone…as we were living in a small
village, she was like one of us and she was aware of everything, therefore she told my dad and they went
to the regional office of the social services together. I can say that because of her we came to the
orphanage (she laughs). Of course my step mother had an affect also. But I always thank God of course.”
“we are five sisters. I entered the orphanage with the help of our prayer leader. Because my mum
couldn’t give my dad a son, he ran away with another woman in a neighbouring village. They had forced
him to marry my mum at the time. My mum didn’t want him as he didn’t have a job and was helped
out by the village officer…”
“…1992 earthquake had hit Erzincan. Our villages were evacuated … as the village officer was
widely known, it was covered in the press. After he died (his dad), it was written that they had no one.”
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• There are those that know how they came and there are also does that do not …
“I have been in the orphanage for 1,5 years. I was staying in a bed and breakfast place during
boarding school. I can start like this. When we were very little we were staying in my grandma’s house.
And then my mum left us. I entered exams… won and went to boarding school. I went but kept close
contact with my two younger sisters. I didn’t see them for 4 to 5 years but always spoke to them. After
I completed middle school, I started attending high school… within that two year period, I was with my
dad but I didn’t stay with him. I told the local officials and said that my family didn’t allow me to go to
school. My dad didn’t let us to go to school… We were having constant quarrels anyway. My dad’s
mother didn’t want us… and my dad wasn’t working.”
“…My mother needed to go to the hospital and my dad was in jail, so both of them were not with
us. We were alone in the house. My aunt took my little sister, and looked after her. Our neighbours were
helping us to get by. And then my dad told me that, he had written a letter from jail to take us to an
orphanage. One day they came to our school, took me and my brother, and brought us to the
orphanage.”
“We are ten brothers and sisters, my mother passed away when giving birth to our last brother, she
had something like cancer. We started having bad days, we didn’t have anyone, and we were left alone.
My sister was 12 years old and she was looking after us, she was constantly taking care of us, she became
our mother. My other sister didn’t go to school so she could look after our smaller brother and sisters.
My brother who was 13 or 14 was also taking care of us. I mean, we weren’t seeing our father, we had
no one, not anyone…and then we went to the orphanage…I was 9 or 10. My sisters and brothers also
went.”
“I opened my eyes inside the orphanage, I don’t know, I don’t remember… before I received my first
sip of milk, I was there”
“In 92’ (at 9 years old) after the Erzincan earthquake, I mean 1 month later, or maybe a day later
we found ourselves in the orphanage. They told us that they were taking us for a trip. We really loved
our dad, we had never got separated. They told us that they were taking us somewhere and just left us.
That’s how it happened. We didn’t know where we had arrived at.”
-The pain of leaving family: it takes time to get used to…
During our talks, the participants had the hardest time while trying to describe the orientation
period, of their first times in the orphanage. In the conversations, the same tears were cried, emotions
were high and the interviews had to be repeatedly stopped …
“…when we were first given, that place seemed unfamiliar. In the first nights we cried and felt bad
a lot of the times, but then we got used to it. There was always longing and missing.”
“…I cried a lot, I was constantly crying. I was missing my mum a lot. I only felt bad because of my
mum. Then, after a while it went away.”
I Am Going To Dress Up My Mum With White Dresses
63
“at first I was crying. I was saying to myself that, “It is enough, I want to kill myself. I want to go
home”. And also for the first time you experience what its like not to have a dad. On most instances
your mum always supports you; your dad doesn’t do that most of the time. Your dad doesn’t do much;
he watches from a distance and brings money to the house, leaves it and goes away. Doesn’t even show
love; but in any case he is the dad, there is bond and love between him and his children. We felt bad
and we cried; but very slowly we begun to get used to it, we learned to get along.”
“…I felt that I was excluded, I was constantly crying, I can never forget my first day… I was always
crying and I was walking around in the garden, teachers were coming up to me trying to make me feel
better by saying stuff like:“ This is a better place, your mum will come”. As if I didn’t know…it didn’t
last long. It didn’t last long. Then, I actually understood that the orphanage was better. I had arrived
knowingly. Before we arrived, they had told us how it was and we could have a career, our situation
would be better. Therefore, that time passed very quickly…I think the pain was due to leaving my
family.”
“…(on her dad) For instance, he cried non stop. I can never forget about that cry and for three days
it just wouldn’t go away. We cried as well. Because he is bringing two of his daughters to Erzincan, and
they have no idea about the place....I mean,it is when you ask me “where is Erzincan?” I have
probably seen it on the map and can say that “it is next to Erzurum” that’s how much I know it.”
- An orphan is “a state’s child”, where as a family is “ a dream and a warm home”
The project’s participants, just like the way that they went to the orphanage, came from different
regions. Although they are, and their reasons for arrival are different; they share poverty, and inability
of their families to look after or protect between them. They explain the difference between them and
the children in their villages as “we eat better food, have better clothes and can go to school”, “we are
free”. They call themselves the “state’s children”. However, they also talk about their worries after they
became 18 and also talk about the problems of being the state’s child. Also there were some advantages
of having a family. The children in school that were not from the orphanage were from a “home
environment”. Apart from two girls all of the participants talked about their families or from some one
in their family. “A family” was defined with all of the aspects that were lacking in the orphanage…in
this description there was always mother, father, love, affection, attention and warmth present.
However, the families that they talked about were lacking in all the qualities just described.
“The best aspect is that I can live here, but its worst aspect that it doesn’t share anything with us.”
“There are good and bad features of staying in an orphanage. It would be great if the teachers were
patient, but…if they don’t understand you, is always harsh, and is pressurising, you have depression and
look for love elsewhere, to fill the gap.”
“The girls in the village envy me. I am free and have been to a lot of places. They really want to be
like me. My mum trusts us. Or it wouldn’t be like this.”
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“…They are with their families, for instance they go to visit them, they tell about the times they
went to places with their dad. In the orphanage we just…our teachers in the orphanage didn’t pay us
attention. We may have an advantage of eater better food and having nicer clothes but we lack a
mother and also love.”
“… Orphanage was actually better, I had friends.. it was good but…for instance those that come
from a home environment, come up to us and ask whether we have a mum or dad, there is a division,
we cant say anything that will top that, we are staying in an orphanage. In some way, I don’t know, you
feel sad, you sometimes cry…”
“We were getting along really well with our teachers. Although not as well as mum and dad but still
very good; but I share with them things I wouldn’t have shared with my mum and dad.”
- Everyone’s family relations are their concern…
Most of our participants continue their relationships with their mum, dad or sisters and brothers.
The aspects of whether they are happy with their relationships and if they trust them varies greatly.
Their stories also present the boundaries of family support they will receive in the future.
“We are very close with my mum and sisters, that’s because we don’t have anyone…our grandpa
has now returned back to the village and they want us to come too…; so we can look after them. My
mum didn’t get married because of us, she helped us in every way, and we never needed a man.”
“…It has always been that our mum wasn’t there a week and was always there the next.”
“My dad is very dedicated to his children, he loves us and is a very emotional man…when we talk
on the phone we know that…he is thinking of us, but he has never hugged us and…maybe it is because
of where he comes from (eastern city), maybe it is in their culture…”
“…My dad was always coming to see and to take us, my uncle was also coming. In the beginning
he was coming every two days, then every Sunday.
“I always kept contact with my mum. After I hit 16, I met my brother my twin, and my uncles. And
then my aunt. I have recently met my dad. I am grown up now, and he will want me to look after him.
I don’t want to, he can stay where he was all this time, he can even stay out on the streets.”
“I have a good relationship with my brothers and sisters but they have their own life. Apart from
one all them are married, we talk on the phone…they think that our mother takes care of us and also
everyone has their own responsibilities. My step sister took care of us. My real sister is rich but she never
calls us. Some fields were inherited from my dad, the case is still open, they are overseas and rich. They
don’t care about me, they didn’t wanted to know me.”
“…My brother came every month to see us, on his breaks, Friday, Saturday and Sunday… he even
came on national holidays and took care of us.”
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65
“I used to go on the weekends, on my time off…they used to come and pick us up if we called
them.”
“I used to go on summer holidays as my mum wanted it…I have left the orphanage for 1 year. I am
staying with my mum and dad. I hate my dad...”
“I call them maybe once a month and they call me 2 or 3 times a month. They don’t call very often
but we have a pattern and we do talk. I also go every summer holiday, but didn’t this year on the 15 day
break, I always go on national holidays.”
“…I go every holiday. In the certification holidays, and on national holidays and stuff, they allow
us to go. And we went. My mum used to come and pick me up. But after I got used to the orphanage, I
didn’t want to leave my friends. But the orphanage forced us. That’s how we went.”
“…I saw my dad for the first time in 5 to 6 months … I went so I could see him. So I had no idea
when I went. He was talking so nicely…I spoke to him on the phone…I heard his voice for the first
time. I was 24 years old; I heard his voice for the first time and saw him for the first time. I hadn’t even
seen a picture of him…”
“I have no family relations. They never came to the orphanage. My dad is dead, I don’t know him.
I talk to my brother and sister on the phone. For 1 year my elder sister…has been a guest in the
orphanage, my little sisters are also here. From 4 mums and 4 dads, we are 16 brother and sisters. 7 of
them are real. I don’t know any of my other relatives.”
“…my mum for instance, I go to her during my free time on weekdays and weekends. She
sometimes says that “you” she says, “when” she says “are you going to grow up” “and look after me”. I
laugh on the inside, but it also makes me angry that she doesn’t spend any effort…I mean she doesn’t
even do her duties as a mum anyway. It is like I am the mum of my little sister. She is my little sister,
I have to look after her.”
“…my mum, my grandma, and my grandma’s relatives calls us even though they don’t like us, I
mean they do it for their own interests…in case they have to depend on us when they are old. Because
then we will be in a position to look after them…and also there is the issue of the heritance…my dad is
dead, my grandpa is dead…they are using our stuff now, I think that’s why.”
“…so our family used to call us and say “we are coming this day”, and then they would come over.
Not very often thought. Maybe once of twice a year... I mean my step dad wouldn’t allow my real mum
to visit us very often. He had cows. It was like “who will look after them?”
“I started working in a pharmacy when I was 15. I had tried coming suicide. They gave me to a
pharmacy. They said “here are the medicines”. Life can be like, if you put on this hair band, can start to
get heavy (she shows the small hair band in her hands). As an orphanage kid, we still go through the
problems of our families.”
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- Replacing feelings: “not having anyone and not belonging” is replaced by “looking after each
other”…
Whatever shape the family relations may take, orphanage kids experience a feeling of not having
anyone and not belonging anywhere. Therefore, taking care of someone has been the significant force
of getting over this feeling.
“…we never separated, it was because we didn’t have anyone…we couldn’t get on with anyone so
quickly anyway. Kids, when we first came…excluded us. We never separated. Only when we were going
to sleep. We were waking up early anyway. We always hand around with three of us. After a while we
were separated.”
“…it is actually not belonging to anywhere, my dad didn’t care anyway, our family wasn’t
interested about us, after mum’s death they weren’t interested in us any longer.”
“…As orphanage kids, if they even disperse us in Istanbul, we can find each other. Sharing the same
faith has enabled us to take care of each other. If one of us gets hurt, all of us would be on the look out.
But we can also hurt each other too, for instance we beat up each other. Then no one will get involved.
If someone outside will start a fight everyone will get involved.”
- The relationship with society is full of ache, pain and limits …
Those orphanage kids that don’t get along with their families, have also formed a similar
relationship with the state. Their relationship with the society is more painful, the cut is deeper and is
more rigid. The society which they will one day have to be a part of, hasn’t taken responsibility. Has
excluded them and at best just did not wanted to know them... this is such an intimidating situation
that, girls want to prolong the period when they have to join the society. Or they want to set certain
boundaries when spending time with friends and also in terms of marriage, so each relationship will
have certain limits. Although, they say that they are proved to be an orphanage kid, they say that they
will tell people “after they know me”, by this sentence, they are giving us clues on their strategy to deal
with the prejudices of society. In addition, being an orphanage kid, thus not being under anyone’s protection they argue, leaves them open for other dangers, and believe that this can therefore be seen as a
way of protection. Sometimes, although they don’t see it as a problem for themselves, they prolong the
period, so it wouldn’t affect their sisters and brothers that have a job or are married. It is equally
important to think about their relationship with the society in terms of the problems with employability.
“…people were excluding me a little bit. I mean, they would call me “orphanage kid” and stuff. I
was always shy; withdrawn in primary school, reserved in high school, shy in middle school…they
wanted to look down on me. I was very shy of people…I mean I couldn’t even blow my noise, I was that
shy.”
“People quickly act on their prejudices. Without knowing anything…therefore, my life philosophy
is not to act on prejudices against people”
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“Being an orphanage kid…have sometimes leads to people us looking at us in the wrong
way…orphanage kids does this does that. They say bad things about us. For instance if I get close to
someone, they wouldn’t want to marry me because I’m from an orphanage. This happened to me. He
said that “you are an orphan no one can marry you…I can’t”. I asked why, and he said that his family
wouldn’t allow it. That’s the worst thing…they exclude you…this is why my friendships had to end
twice…”
“…Nobody knows it. Because I know that most people won’t be able to understand the thing I tell
them, I don’t tell them that I am from an orphanage. It’s not because I am ashamed of it, I am proud of
it…they will judge before knowing me…they may have a different angle. But they know me, my
personality, and also see that I don’t have bad habits… I don’t know…if someone has a boyfriend and
is in the patisserie with them, I know its normal but, they would say that “look the girl from the
orphanage is going around with boys”…that’s how they see us. We could never get passed
that…therefore I am always cautious… actually boys used to approach us differently...”
“…There were some problems with my fiancée and his parents, but at the end he made them accept
it…staying in an orphanage did cause some problems. You might have heard about it, those staying in
an orphanage can have a bad reputation… they think that we are all the same. So that was a problem. I
am wondering if it will cause problems in the future as well.”
- Who is going to shoulder the weight of being an “orphanage kid”?
“…my physics teacher, he did a lot for me, he says that “get over this psychology, you are outside
of the orphanage now, I thought you were going to get a job, have a house, have a life”. I tell him that
“we will never get over it, that’s how we came and that’s how we will go.” I will always have friends from
the orphanage, I will never loose my contact with them, that’s how I think of it.”
“…when I walk next to people they say: “look an orphanage kid!” It doesn’t say on our forehead so
I don’t know how they can tell. That feeling really weighs me down..”
“Always the same environment. And they all see me as an orphanage kid. And I always felt very
uncomfortable of the situation. I could never break the cycle. I mean, I couldn’t get over my stuff, let
alone trying to explain to them …”
- For girls, an alternative to an orphanage is, no school, early marriage, and lots of kids..
“If I had not been an orphanage kid, my mother would have had me married. Maybe to an
uneducated man, that doesn’t have a job, and maybe I would have 10 kids when I’m 20. I don’t know
maybe, we wouldn’t get along, violence might occur…I don’t even want to think about stuff like that. I
would be uneducated, maybe, I would have even went to school, I wouldn’t know what relationships or
education was. My children would have been in the same situation as well.”
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“…I would be somewhere else now, next to our families, but I am grateful that I am in an
orphanage. I would have any of these opportunities. I had the thing to attend school. My mother says
that “if we hadn’t given you to the orphanage God knows what you would have been doing now,
perhaps working in fields in the village. I think she is right...”
“I went when I was 13 years old…if they hadn’t given me to the orphanage I might have married at
that age. I would be in a very bad condition, would be illiterate.”
“… I am always grateful, because if we were left in the village, we would have no idea of these
resources. We would look at life at a different way. Wouldn’t have much information.”
- The resources of the orphanage is a dream away from the family’s resources.…
“So we are in an advantaged position when compared to most people. When we started school, our
books, notebooks and forms were all ready, there were people without books. We were giving them to
our friends, we…together, we used to share. We also had an allowance. There were many students
coming from our village, but we were better off financially...it wasn’t much but on those days, a high
school allowance was 20 million…it was good, it was sufficient…”
“… We were 7 brothers and sisters and 4 of them came to the orphanage. The other ones were
married at a young age by my dad so they didn’t benefit…but we really liked that place, but we really
sincerely liked it. I mean, that the situation in a village is very different. We knew that we would
develop ourselves and learn new stuff. Maybe we wouldn’t be a family, but we didn’t have that anyways.
As we didn’t have a mum, we grew up a little differently. I mean that we had no money, we did have it
in the orphanage. We couldn’t have gone to judo nor, didn’t know what a social life was, wouldn’t study,
wouldn’t do any if that stuff. No one would place warm food on the table, we had to do that ourselves,
and at that young age. We saw all of that and were comfortable …”
“I attended 1-2-3 grades of high school while I was at the orphanage. We went with my sister. A
year later my other sister also came. I am so happy to be attending high school…we gave our allowances
to my mum. We also gave our internship pay to my mum.”
“…And every time my mum came over she was broked. They give me money from the orphanage,
for instance if I receive 20 million I give 15 to her. It was as if I was investing it. And also, when they
were distributing butter, jam, I would collect them, and I would fill half a bag and take it home. …”
“…when I wake up in the mornings, sometimes I used to run at least twice a week…as there is an
exam in the physical education department I was trying to be in a better shape…because, the school is
finished and we used to see that a little in school. I run for an hour in the mornings, swim, I come back
take a shower, the breakfast is usually not ready at that hour, after breakfast I go out and I walk around,
I am usually in the orphanage, we go swimming twice a week...”
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- The orphanage makes you a struggler, but doesn’t teach you the price of bread …
Instead of teaching them the means of survival, providing financial needs on a platter, leads ton
difficulties being experienced after leaving. Girls that have participated in our Project have told us that
although the orphanage life has taught them to “stand tall” and “learn to struggle”, it doesn’t teach on
the everyday necessities such as paying a bill and price of bread. Therefore, after completing 18 years
of age, it is seen as a nightmare that they are not ready for the life after the orphanage, both in terms of
education and employment. The sentence “there is nowhere to go” explains both the nightmare that
leaves them open for dangers and serious problems. The stories reveal that the standard applications
differ between orphanages and in some places the social protection for girls take a more prolonged period.
“What are we going to do when we leave the orphanage, we will be like fish out of water”
“…I am scared of life. I have always stayed in the orphanage...how much is a kilo of tomatoes, how
much is bread, I don’t even know that. Every thing was ready for us. It is even like if I have no money,
I don’t even know where to apply...”
“I wish that I had stayed there forever and never got out. Because it is very hard to deal with
people. Someone 20 years old, I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do at all…I couldn’t do it alone.
I stayed alone for 5 to 6 months; I even worked on a bus. People are always trying to take advantage of
you, trying to get something out. Being sleazy. It is the same thing with my marriage, I have never been
in a family situation, I don’t know how to cook. This is because I always had a ready plate in front of
me…I can’t even wash up. They were never patient with me, especially my mother in law. She always
excluded me. She said: “you don’t know how to cook, and you don’t cook, you can’t tidy up, you can’t
bake” so this and that. And I could have learned those with time. And I actually did learn it, I can cook.
What is there to do after you have the ingredients? I can simply open a cook book and will just do it.
But my mother in law repeatedly excluded me. And when she did that my husband didn’t talk to them.
I went through a lot of problems…”
“…I am thankful for coming to the orphanage. I know how to survive. I also learned how to stand
up on my own two feet. So, when the time comes I can protect myself. For instance the kids in the house
aren’t really like that. Its not being aggressive, but always saying something to top up what was said. For
instance when somebody makes a comment on me I can say that “No, it’s not like that, it’s like this”, so
I can defend myself easily…I matured a lot at an early age. Like other children, I didn’t play ball, didn’t
go to the park. I always feel very bad for that. I never had a childhood. That has been a deep hole inside.
I am still sad about that”
“… If they had given me an exact time, for instance like “you are leaving at this date, be prepared”
I could have at least found out about what I could have done, and had did it. But it wasn’t like that. You
are leaving after a week, 1 week later. You try to arrange everything, pack you luggage...”
“They didn’t need to say something to me, I have filled the age criteria, I knew they would kick me
out, so I went before they said anything, because that’s what they do to everyone ….”
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“Once they are at the age of consent, they say “leave as soon as you can”. I had flunked the first year
at school…they told me that “leave as soon as possible, why are you staying here, what is your reason,
you flunked here”…me, as soon as my school finished, they told me to pack my bags, and leave the
orphanage. And they also deleted my name from the registration, I couldn’t stay”
“… Each orphanage is not he same. For instance…I have two sisters in the Girls Home. According
to the family’s condition, they can stay there as long as they want. It’s not like that in my orphanage,
when you hit the age of consent you have to leave…I saw that the girls in…are attending courses. They
are also in the orphanage, although they are above the age of consent. But us…”
- Those that leave a mark, for better or worse: Employees of the orphanage
Positive or adversary, the behaviour of employees in the orphanage always influences and affects
the girls. During the interviews certain things were told about the employees. We know that in
GDSSCP there are people that are working selflessly, and contribute to the development of the girls, aid
them in the hard times, and present an “exemplary behaviour ” to the girls. However, as well as these
people that girls look up to, there are also those that are violent, and turn the life of girls into a
nightmare.
“At first we had experts from the social services. I really had idolised with them. Their relationships
and solutions with children had really affected me. I can’t get that out of my head, and that won’t
change. I actually take you seriously because of them. I think to myself that social services people are
really compassionate.”
“There, “this girl is from an orphanage”. To be frank, these made us sad, but I am happy to be
staying in an orphanage. It was good in everyway, even in terms of discipline…our head master was
really qualified. In terms of character and also attentiveness…I really set her as an example for myself.”
“We had a nurse in the orphanage; she was, had a job, a house, work, car and money. Also she
didn’t have to look after anyone. Half of the orphanage envied her. She was a businesswoman. She had
a tough personality.”
“… while we were staying in the orphanage…our children developer…did something, because I
hadn’t cleaned the oven very well, she made me lick the oven. But from the outside she looked really
well, I don’t know…people can change. This has tached me to not trust anyone, I never trust anyone.”
Girls
They are young girls and young women, and instead of a couple of them, were all single. Of the ones
that were married, two of them were pregnant, and one or two of them had no kids. Our participants
argue that the unfairness they experienced had a little to do with being girls and a lot to do with being
children from an orphanage and without family. However, they also talked about the “restrictions” of
being a girl and being controlled by their families and relatives and the hardship of “not being able to
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fit” everywhere. Also those that have drug addiction, and violence on the male side of their families,
have stated that they are “happy to be a girl”. There were various stories of violence that they had
witnessed and heard about. They linked the violence they had experienced to bad faith and bad people
rather than to “being a girl”. We also heard stories of rape, but refrained from writing them here so that
they would be kept a secret. Being sent to the orphanage was mostly followed with their mothers not
having any other choice, and also related with “being a woman”. Being a girl was only seen to be good
if you can work and earn your own living.
- Being a girl, and always being under control…
“…I don’t know, men can fit in to any situation. If you look outside, even if they are divorced, it
doesn’t affect them. But because we are girls it really does affects us. In conclusion we are branded as
widows when we get a divorce …”
“…We had talked about it in job exams. They would say stuff like: it should be someone we know,
you should be far away, you are a girl, something could happen to you, we will watch over you. Far away
wouldn’t be good…”
“It is actually hard being a girl, anything could happen to you.”
“My girlfriends would come over and say, “I saw you today. Why did you go to the patisserie
together? Who was that? Why did you sit with him? He is no good!” and stuff like that... for instance
in other times, they would actually do the same thing. But it would be a good situation if she is involved.
I mean, why would it be bad, you are also in the same situation. I wouldn’t criticise anyone if I do the
same thing myself. Some of my friend did. There were those that we had criticised but it would make
no difference, they would carry on in the same manner. For instance there was one friend. We had
talked a lot with her. Actually…we talked a lot and beat her up so much…it was wrong but it was
because of her. We would say “don’t go”. She would give an adverse answer. She would say “what is it
to you”. But we actually wanted what was best for her.”
“… (She is talking about her stepmum) I have one friend. I was crossing the street, and I only trust
her. My stepmum always asked me why was I was I going to the neighbour, why was I seeing my
friends. So she is causing problems, between me and my husband. Constant problems. For instance, my
husband would never hit me, he couldn’t. I remember him hitting me once, because of my step mum.”
“Men have to earn a living, they have to provide food for the family. For instance, I am a woman, I
didn’t go to school, didn’t have a school life, but by marrying can live off my husband. But if I was a
man, I couldn’t have done that. I would have to think about my family, having a family, but you can’t
do anything if you don’t have a job. But if you are a woman, you can’t find a job, can’t do anything, don’t
have education, you have to deal with your husband and live off him.”
- Violence, violence is everywhere…
“I like children. I don’t know, maybe, when I was little nobody liked me. When we stayed in my
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grandma’s house, everyone liked my cousins, and excluded us. They liked us, so that we could go to the
market or wipe the floors. We were good when we were working, we were their “dear nieces”. But when
we didn’t, they called us “your mum and dad’s daughter”, they would say “what else can you be
anyway”.
“There was constant fighting in the house. My dad would cause constant problems, the garbage
would be taken out, he would cause problems, dishes would be washes, and he would shout, swear. All
of the village would come over. It was a disgrace, you should have seen it, my life was a disgrace.”
“… My brother would beat up my mum all the time, and buy drugs.”
“I stayed at my uncles for 6 months. And then the sexual assault started. He had four wives. I ran
away... I was staying in the …orphanage, I am still there. When I was 5 my elder sister, was kidnapped
and raped, she is in an awful state at the moment.”
“…Because of my stepdad we couldn’t have stayed in my house…I…because I was smaller than the
rest I needed motherly love more than others, I would cry a lot, and ask for my mother. I went because
I had no choice; my sisters didn’t want to go as well. Why would we want to go there, it was beatings
everyday. But I still wanted to go, I wanted to see my mum. So we would go, and how can I put it, in
summer holidays and in the 15 day holidays. And that would be a complete disaster…you know how
step dads are...one of my elder sisters had always worked with her, there always beatings, she would beat
up my mum all the times.”
“…my sister … when she would come over, was completely distraught, they would beat me up all
the time. He always finds faults with me, he would beat me up, it wouldn’t have happened if you had
not accepted. He beat me up and even tried to choke me up.”
“Our head teacher would beat children up with a plastic stick. And then what happened. We went
to a journalist who was also from the same orphanage, and a woman’s society…we went to the head
teacher. We said that if you do that we would go to the press, this was bad for him…as he would out of
his job.”
“My dad died of a heart attack when I was 2 years old. He was 81 years old. My mother was a very
beautiful woman. She was his fourth wife, she was very young and had went for the money. My
uncles…gave me to the orphanage… my mum didn’t want it. But they forced her. After 12 years of age
my brother and I were given to an orphanage. I was beaten a lot, elder children would beat us up and
take our money. Teachers would wash us with boiling water. My life passed with violence and beatings.
I would bruise all the time. I would always defend myself, and as a result they excluded me, I would be
punished and wouldn’t be sent to holiday…and then I became the student head of the orphanage. This
developed my relationship with teachers and led me to respect them. I froze my duties as the head after
I started my internship in the kindergarten. But after the new head started beating up children I
reassumed my position.”
“My life in the orphanage started with my dad giving me there at the age of 1…I was expelled from
the occupational high school when I was at 3rd grade. This was due to helping a girl that was beaten by
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the headmaster for running away from the orphanage. The head master had beaten her with a wood
stick and locked her in a room full of mice. I broked the lock of the door. I was the student
representative of the orphanage when I was 16 and 17 years old. I told the press about the situation.
Without informing me they made my dad sign a piece of paper and expelled me from the orphanage.”
“I mean, I was always looking after the young ones that were getting beaten a lot… I went through
a lot at a young age ….”
“At 5th grade our teacher was changed and a male teacher came. He was a very tough person. He
executed a test of 100 questions and he took my paper. He didn’t take anyone else’s paper. Five of us
were left in the class, he only took my paper. He then said “the time is out”. I went outside. The next
day he was reading the results. I shouted at him and crossed his path. I told him: “you didn’t take their
paper and you only took mine”. He slapped me right then and there. His fingerprint was still visible on
my face. So they came from the orphanage to speak to him, and asked “why is this child’s face like this”.
At the end of the seminar I received a special certificate from him… but I though that “he only gave me
this because of the slap”
“… They liked me. The head master liked me so they were jealous. Because they needed love as
well they would beat me up when she wasn’t around, they would slap me,…”
- The belief that “working empowers woman”
“… You see women working and spending their wages. It’s great they don’t need anyone. When I
am married I would work so that I don’t have to bow down to my husband, he would bow down to me
since I would have an income and I believe in myself.”
“As long as you are old, believe in yourself and don’t get involved in bad stuff, nobody will harm
you.”
“I want a job, money and a happy home. I hate orphanages. When you are sick and there is a
thunder…you get scared. There is no food or love when you are hungry. ..the teachers would wash us
with boiling water, when they were mad at us. You can’t put anything in your mouth from morning to
afternoon. You are a child you want to munch on things but it is not possible. Now at home, I am
currently working, and can’t sit for 5 minutes. How can I finish the work of 16 people? I want have a
job before I am married. Otherwise, I would end up like my mum. If she had a job, wouldn’t she take
us to home?
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Kitap okuma ve tart›flma...
Reading a book and discussing
Grup çal›flmalar›...
Group activities
Sertifika töreninden...
From the certificate ceremony
SECOND CHAPTER
Employment:
Hopes, Expectations, Problems…
“I think the most important thing is that (when working), you can stand on your own two feet,
and you start believing yourself. Yes, you say to yourself that you are alone in this life and that’s
where it all actually starts. For instance, until now we all thought that: Yes, I am alone. Because I live
in an orphanage, I don’t have any support,…but actually there was a huge support behind us, a huge
country. At the moment (after the orphanage) I am alone. So, there is nothing I can do, I have to just
work.”
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Why do they want to work?
Apart from the two girls we have spoken to all of the young girls want to work so they “are not
dependent on someone else”. Their shoulders was carrying a life that was waiting to be saved. Firstly
their own lives, then their mum’s, if they have children, their life and especially their younger sister’s
and brother’s lives… this was not surprising as the reason behind being them being a “state’s child” was
poverty and broken homes. Only two people talked about the significance of working for developing
themselves.
- You work for yourself, for knowledge and for experience …
“I need to work so that I can do the things that I want. I can feel confident. Or some things cannot
be done through reading, you learn more with experiencing things. That’s why it is more important for
me to live and work. So, it is for knowledge. Maybe for the future, when I might work in a ministry, so
instead of saying “I wish I was working there” “I wish I was working that way” I choose to work now,
even though I may not be happy. I want to have experience, or I want to say that: yes I know about those
issues.”
“… for me, working is knowledge. …I want to be a good person for myself and the society. Then I
want to work hard and obtain lots of money…and then being able to spend that money on shopping….”
- Those that want to work for themselves and their families…
“When I work, I will be financially independent. You will earn your own money. Is there anything
more honourable than that? You wouldn’t have to ask for money from anyone, you can earn your own
money, and spend it yourself.”
“…When you work, you will have stuff like your freedom, you can do whatever you want. You will
be comfortable and buy anything you want.”
“I want to work and have my own home. I will do my best to make my family happy. I will also
work to be protected from my dad.”
“…For instance, when I work I won’t depend on anyone. Those people that didn’t look after me
when I was young, are actually thinking about that now, and even though I am not out yet, they are
beginning to get closer to me”
“… It doesn’t matter any more. I will do everything, as long as I can to stand on my own two feet.
I don’t want to depend on anyone.”
“… I don’t care for a lot of money, I just want enough to heal my family, help them to forget their
past and to get them a home, that’s all.”
… (when I work) I can help them more. When I mean helping them, my little brother for
instance…the youngest one…for instance, if we start working with my sister, his education would be
up to us, that’s why I want to start as soon as possible.”
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“I want to go to school and stand on my own two feet. I am sure that if my mum had a job we
wouldn’t be in this orphanage and she wouldn’t have done her second marriage…when I start working
I will bring my grandma next to me and first of all I will rent a house.”
“… I will make hot meals and have my family move in with me. I will especially dress up my mum
with white dresses.”
“I will shape up my life when I start working. Then my little brother’s and sister’s lives…the only
side I like is that I have little sisters and brothers that I love,…”
“I don’t want to be dependent on my family. For instance, currently I have a mum, step children,
step brother and we are in the same environment. I will help them, they should have to help me all the
time. In conclusion they are my family.”
“Actually I can say receiving a wage. You can live if you work, you can buy bread, for my daughter
a good… for instance to my girl that is now 3 years of age, I could not yet bought anything.”
“…I don’t want to leave my friends, that’s why…I need to work. I help status world even be
adequate. As long as I can leave the orphanage and rent a house.”
- Those that wants to contribute to the State and the orphanage …
“I actually want to be a police… “You know the state has done a lot for you, done this and that for
you” and I say that “at least I want to do something as well”.
“The future of Turkey…if it continues like this, isn’t so bright…when I work I really want to be
useful for this country, I want to work for this country. But you can’t do that just being a civil servant;
I want to study within this mentality and obtain a good position and develop my country.”
“I was really happy with the Social Services. It was like my home, and I would very much like to
work in that institution. I will deal with people and help them…This is what I wish for.”
“… I will donate to the orphanage…how can I say it…what is mostly used in our orphanage
is…toilet paper. We needed a lot…they give 1 roll for a month!...I had a lot of problems within that
aspect. My friends also suffered a lot…I actually understood it later on…I will donate a lot of toilet paper
to the orphanage.”
Why and how do they want to work?
Most of our participants have identified how they want to work as a “desk job”. Some of them have
described it as n active role, somewhere where they can help people and somewhere they feel useful.
Some of the conversations have shown that their jobs are connected with the things and conditions that
they wanted to change. But we never came across those that wanted to be employed in the industry or
in a factory. This can be due to the lack of factories in the Anatolian region, and the girls having no
knowledge of those. Those sectors that they have witnessed a rise in the status were usually from the
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service sector. The dog eat dog attitude of the private sector and the large quotas in the governmental
institutions have lead to the creation of false hopes in their minds. However, in another aspect they are
noticing that they are receiving less job offers and fewer of them are entering governmental jobs, and on
another level all the jobs they have prior to the “governmental” sector are seen as temporary, and are
scared not to receive any job offers from the orphanage and were even rejecting social security payments
of the places they are working in.
- The jobs they dream about are in the private sector …
“I want nice and quiet desk job. On first leave I want to go to holiday by myself. I want to finish
university and become a teacher. I want to be a teacher. Because I want to be with children and teach
them things. Children will give back everything you taught them, what ever you teach will be given back
to you, I saw this when I was looking after children, if you kiss them they will kiss you back, if you say
nice things they will say nice things back.”
“I have not yet worked and I am scared. I am really scared of making a mistake. I want to have a
job where I can use a computer.”
“I want to be a PR expert or a psychologist. I want a respected position. But…I don’t want to work
in…, because there is a lot of gossip. I wan to earn my certificate and earn my living. That is my
problem.”
“To be a civil servant, especially in a kindergarten, with children, because my sister is in
kindergarten and I miss her, also they are very significant to the children there. That’s why I want to
work in a kindergarten.”
“I want to work in the office of the major with a computer, and I want to support some people.”
“I have the support of my teachers. In conclusion I am an orphanage child and they will
definitely find me a job somewhere. But until they do...”
“I don’t know, actually when I do work I want to be a civil servant.”
“…We will see this year. We have lost hope from the government, we will go to university, like I
said…they talk about the future and stuff, but it’s not like it used to be it is really hard now. In the past
it was like, even if you didn’t study you would have got a job, it is not like that anymore. My friend is
still waiting for a job and it has been for 3 or 4 years. I don’t want to be in their position. Frankly, I
want to work.”
Current job experiences, are weighted towards the informal sector?
Some of the girls have commenced their job experiences while still in the orphanage, whilst some
have not held any jobs at all. Girls contributed in our Project are those that went to the orphanage from
kindergarten stage, and have done their education at night times, actually have little job experience.
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However, the first experiences can be those that have been directed from the orphanage to obtain their
first daily allowances. Their current experiences cover a variety of fields. Although it is hard to find jobs
that have social security, fixed contracts, structured and abide to certain rules. Meaning their
experiences come mostly from the informal sector. A serious problem they had was receiving or
threatening by sexual assault. Request of “sending sexual signals” to customers while working has been
a degrading and a scary fact. Numerous stories of bad experiences have been distributed with an
informal information web and have been accredited to all of the private sector…good experiences have
usually risen from the good behaviour of the boss, showing trust and protection. However due to their
small number, they are usually not heard of in the informal information web…the result is the hesitance
and not wanting to work in the private sector. The “state’s children” , prefer to wait until they become
“civil servants”.
- Job sectors are varied…
“First of all I sold bubblegum and chocolate on the streets, I painted shoes, collected paper off the
garbage, cleaned up in the cement factory and worked in tiling dressed up like a boy.”
“…After the orphanage some marketing jobs, …being a secretary in the local newspaper, estate
agent, cashier in a supermarket, in a newspaper booth, at various times…service officer in a hotel.”
“…I worked in children clothes.”
“My first job was in a pharmacy.”
“… I worked in textiles for 1 year, I operated the machinery.”
“…I worked in furniture shop.”
“It is not a type of PR but a secretary, general assistant of the boss…like the cutomer services of the
company...”
“… I am working in a membership centre.”
“I worked part time while I was in the orphanage, in things like marketing. After school external
implant technician, jewellery design, managing café and bars (she counts 4 to 5 brands), sales and
marketing, also working in a DVD-VCD shop, a computer firm, (provides the name) also a music firm.
“For the first time I was a coach, for a couple of times. While I was in the orphanage- a jewellery
design. The orphanage had arranged the fairs and we would sell them. I was also a secretary of a
lawyer…managed the tea room of the orphanage for 2 weeks…I was offered a job in the honey tasting
business and thus worked there for 3 months…”.
“Sales in the canteen…”
“Sales rep in the shop and the supermarket.”
“Secretary in an insurance firm.”
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“Answered phones in a cleaning company.”
“Voluntary work in the regional Social services office.”
“I collected hazelnuts for 2 months.”
“I have a chess teacher in the holidays.”
“I looked after three kids and an old person.”
“… Service personnel in a bus firm.”
“Professional folklore shows in hotels.
“I specialised in hair implant business.”
“I have been a tea person, and intern in textiles industry …”
“Marketing in a local TV station…”
- They have usually worked outside the normal standards …
• The only norm is that there are no rules: Low and infrequent wages, no social security…
“My reason to leave my job has been the low wage, hardship of working on the streets, and not
frequently earning from sales and marketing. I also left another position as they didn’t pay for my social
security payments.”
“Private sector means no social securities pay. I never had any money to got to he hospital.”
“I was a secretary in a computer shop. I had no social security and the wage was low.”
“I had no social security.”
“I left as I had no social security and had a small pay.”
“…I worked for 1 year in textiles. I was a machinist… (she talks about social security). Actually
they did offer social security. They said they would do stuff like security. We knew that they were all
excuses, they were actually fooling people. And I didn’t want it as well. There is also the belief that “if
you want security, you won’t get a job from the orphanage. So I didn’t get it done.”
“… My boss was a woman. She was very aggressive. She would make me refold the dresses that I
have folded.”
“(talking about the lawyer that she had been a secretary to) he was very selfish, I was getting 20
million a week, I stopped working when I started to pay out of my pocket, it wasn’t enough.”
“… (on her colleague) he was affecting me on a very bad way, was actually shouting at me (on the
computer) would say that “don’t let this girl write anything”, because I couldn’t write anything and
would loose information. He would shout next to the customers, so I couldn’t continue, why would I
go if I can’t be of use, I can’t sit like a bride and do nothing,…”
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• Sexual assault and being under the threat of sexual assault
• Sexual assault in the work place is common and complaints are rare…
“I worked in a furniture shop in Ankara. My boss was a disgraceful man, was sleazy and aged 50 or
60. His 18 year old son was also working with us. I worked for 1 month, I couldn’t do it so I left.”
“All of the people in my workplace were men. They would talk about everything next to me. I
couldn’t stand it any longer. They wouldn’t treat me like a person. They talked about very rude stuff. I
complaints and although our boss talked to them, they kept on doing the same thing. I couldn’t stand
it and left.”
“(on a colleague) … he asked me questions like, “do you a boyfriend?” and stuff, I would say “No”,
and he would ask me if I had “experienced stuff like that?”. I would say “No” … he would say “did you
go through some stuff?” then I would say, “No, I haven’t”. Then he would say “but I did a lot when I
was young”. This has been a lesson to me in that I don’t talk about some stuff. He was thinking of
different things, but thankfully nothing happened between us.”
“… It was an honest job, a good job, but then my bosses started causing problems, and I left.”
“From all of my jobs I had leave due to sexual advances.”
“I don’t trust the private sector at all. Wouldn’t there be sexual assault in the governmental sector?
There will be but you can complain about it. It is easier to get a bad reputation in the private sector. I
didn’t fill the job application form (in ‹fiKUR) for that reason.”
“… The person next to you looks at you on a different manner. So you just can’t work comfortably
… if I was a civil servant even if they did look at me in that way I can complain. But in the others if for
instance your boss does that, who do you complain to? You just have to leave work...”
• Sending sexual messages to the clients…
“My boss saw me as an object. He wanted the customers to come to the café by seeing me. The next
day he said that “stand outside so that people will see you and come in”. That was very hard for me. I
left that place…I didn’t fully receive my wage even.”
“Now…I am working in a subscriber’s centre. My boyfriend’s friend recommended it. Therefore,
there are no problems. But I do see problems for other girls in the centre. We are required to wear short
skirts, have made up hair and to wear heavy make up. This is weird and hard for me to oblige to. They
want me to look into the eyes of the customer’s when we are selling phones. This makes me feel bad as
it is like I am seducing the customer. (She talks about a small city in the central Anatolian region), in
… women cannot buy telephones for themselves, so they come with their husbands. Isn’t it strange to
look into the eyes of the men, while their wives are next to them?”
- A good employer is someone who “treats me nicely”…
“(talking about being an orphanage kid) they knew it in my workplace … due to the social
security. I wasn’t going to tell them but, when they offered to pay for my social security and I said “no”,
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they said “explain”, “why don’t you want it”. So I explained it, but was taken nicely, very differently
from the other places, they helped me all the time and said that “we are mum and dad”, “you are with
us” and “please tell us if you need anything”…”
“…He had actually given the shop to me for safekeeping, I was attending to everything, he was
occupied with estate agency, so I was dealing with everything, he said that “you are the boss in this
place”. Everything was under my control, we were getting along really well, I was doing everything,
therefore, he was very happy.”
“… My boss was really nice. Even if the wage isn’t good, it is not so important. I had a problem with
my leg it was varicose veins. It required me to leave my job, as I couldn’t stand up for a long time. I
could attend university while I was in the pharmacy. I saved up some money …”
“… I wanted to be in the place of brother, mother and sister of the owners of the company I was
working for. They were supportive, clever and just the way they should have been, they were thinking
of me a lot. I didn’t take the duties of an entrance position. I was careful and didn’t usurp my position.
Although, I hadn’t thought of working outside the public sector, they made me like the private sector.”
“The fact that I was staying in an orphanage didn’t make a difference to people as I didn’t tell them
at first. I would tell them after a while, after they got to know me. And this would not make a difference
to them as they do not judge me afterwards. I get on well with my boss and colleagues. Actually, in the
last hotel I had worked in, although I had worked there for 1 month I got an offer to be promoted over
the supervisory position of someone that had worked there for 4 years. So they didn’t want me to leave.
I had a good communication link with them”.
What makes them disadvantaged?
Our participants have certain disadvantages for the employment sector. They didn’t know, and
hadn’t used institutional job search facilities. For instance they were familiarised with ‹fiKUR during this
project. In addition, not just for job search but for career direction purposes, they were unaware of
institutional services. None of them had received career tutoring in school. They also learned about
‹fiKUR career consultancy during this project. Although some of them had attended, vocational schools,
their talent the sector didn’t match and no current employment positions were available in their city
within that industry. They learned about the competitiveness in the job industry, when they started their
own job search.
Although they saw being a girl as a significant disadvantage, they actually believed that bad
behaviour and assaults in the work place arose from them being an orphanage child. For instance, a
participant talked about the gender separation of jobs in her region. Ina addition to the stories on
sexual assault there were those that were told when the sound recorder was turned off. It was those that
were about the first blame always being on the girls from the orphanage, when something was going
wrong.
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During our talks we understood that the participants had no idea on defending their rights in the
workplace. How to find a job, what aspects they should be careful, writing a CV of were not their strong
points. They were not given any information in school.
- They don’t use and don’t know about institutionalised job search channels …
“I had two friends from my block that were working…they said: “come with us if you want to
work”. T here was a newly opened textiles company that was looking for staff, so they took me in, and
said “we will give you a try”.
“They sent me from the orphanage…”
“I had and internship actually…”
“I used to look in the newspaper and find some jobs there.”
“My boyfriend suggested a very reliable friend of his.”
“My friend said so, I saw them and we agreed.”
- Not obtaining jobs with security: “I have no backing”
“I won all of the exams, but lost all of the interviews. I don’t want to be a help. They don’t take me
in when I say that. I don’t have backing anyway”
“Our job papers arrive. But I don’t have hope for these papers, you may ask me “why”. I have been
to 4 to 5 exams till now…we get high marks from them, but always fail the interviews.”
- To benefit from career consultancy services …
“(a graduate of the trade high school, is explaining why she is not looking in the area that she
specialised in) “a field like that…personally, I can not find a job in that area. Even if there is I have never
heard about it”
“…For instance, I had a talent for arts, I did paintings in middle school. I came on the second place
in a contest…I wanted to enter art school. I wanted it and also had the talent, but unfortunately they
killed the talent inside me…(she gives a name of one of her teachers in the orphanage) didn’t allow me
to go there, she said : “that’s not good for you, you should go for trade”. I didn’t say anything, didn’t
even utter a word. I went to the trade high school, but was unhappy …you can not tell your teachers
how it is …”
“We didn’t actually go there willingly. Everyone said “go there, go here” and we were in middle
school and didn’t know anything. I don’t actually like children…I wanted to be a PE teacher, but didn’t
make it. I was supposed to go last year but the orphanage didn’t allow it on the grounds that “we can
not pay for two teachers”, there aren’t any problems in our section from the morning classes. They just
excluded us by saying “we don’t pay”. We were left outside.”
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“I was meant to go to art school, as I was very talented, especially in painting. They always say in
the orphanage: “we will send the children to occupational school”. Our teacher was saying that there
were a lot of boys there. But they don’t send girls to that place; boys are only sent to normal high
schools.”
“…I had never thought about doing child development. I mean, I have no idea of anything, in the
orphanage they ask me “which school do you want to go to?, “you tell us and we will send you there”.
They said that “you like children so I think you would make a good teacher in child development”. And
I thought about it, so “is it like being a teacher in a kindergarden” they said “yes”. I thought about it a
lot. But they also told me about the good sides of, being a teacher. I warmed up to, thinking I would be
a teacher and stuff. That’s how I got in”
“…if I had the opportunity to go the university, I would have liked to be a PE teacher. As, I was
very interested in sports. But right now it doesn’t make a difference …”
- Having an advantage is significant in competition: “everybody is a high school graduate,
everybody is …”
“… Now there is some stress of getting a job, entering an exam, passing the exam, and what is going
to happen in the interview…I think, it is easier to be a university student. Everyone is a high school
graduate, everyone…that’s how it is…those that think like me, and those that have no common points
with me, those that have finished high school on a bad average, are in the same position with me, we
have no difference.”
- “We would have taken you in if you were a man.”
“they don’t take girls to restaurants. My brother worked in a restaurant, and then a café. I applied
to the same position, but they didn’t take me. The reason given was that a woman can not work till late
hours, couldn’t do some jobs or couldn’t carry a plae on a certain way. My brother did work. On that
aspect men have a large advantage. No matter how many places I applied to, they all wanted men. They
said: “we would have taken you in if you were a man.”
“…I went to the fruit and vegetable shop…they sell vegetables and stuff. I thought women can work
in this place. They said that if you were a man it would have been ok”.”
“…there are not so many job opportunities in the South-East. You know girls stay in their houses,
wait until they die. I think it is nicer for girls to have special jobs, as men can find a job everywhere,
can go anywhere comfortably”
- Once again an orphanage kid, once again prejudices, once again not belonging, and being open
to assault
“… ok it is nice in the orphanage but when we go outside they say that “these are staying in the
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orphanage” they look down on us, or pity us, and label us… when we go outside in Erzincan “look these
are from… orphanage, these are…”and they look at on a bad way and say “nothing will be of these
girls”. That’s how they approach me and it is negative”
“… because we are staying in the orphanage, even in the job environment…people suddenly start
looking at us differently...”
“(talking about the assault of her friend…) “you ask me whether I talked about my personal life and
, that I stayed in an orphanage?” I didn’t tell them that I was staying in an orphanage.”
“… They didn’t know I was from the orphanage. I didn’t tell them on purpose. I knew how they
would have approached me. But, I wish I had. I went through that situation…I though they would be
bad to me because I am from an orphanage”
“The disadvantage of being a girl, and from the orphanage, is that that there is a prejudgement on
being from an orphanage, there is everything. To be very frankly they think that “these girls have stayed
in an orphanage, need money, as long as we give them money, we can buy everything, and buy their
bodies.”
“the ones that are staying in the orphanage, can be how can I say it…I mean that they can go in any
direction…that’s how they look at us mostly…especially men. That’s why I didn’t say anything in the
beginning. I just introduced my self, then told them, then it didn’t mean anything.”
- Having no knowledge on working life and rights…
“…They tell us that “you will be a civil servant” I didn’t even know what it was to be a civil servant,
do they sit and write stuff? They just sit and deal with the files that arrive…on my mind…I don’t think
they do much…they would actually say that thought.”
“I understood the significance of your pronunciation, clothes and body language while working. I
learned the importance of looking at the person while talking to them”
“I didn’t have social security. I didn’t know about stuff like that. Now its like can I lead my own life
and receive my pay cheque, its all ok”
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Sosyal aktivitelerden...
A view of social activities
Toplumsal cinsiyet rolleri...
Gender roles in society
Veda yeme¤i...
Farewell dinner
THIRD CHAPTER
Expectations from the Project,
Gains from the Project
“My view on life and thoughts on my jobs have changed. I am more determined and ambitious.
The future doesn’t frighten me any longer.”
“I liked the workings as I saw them. I didn’t get bored, and trusted it more. I was against
marriage, life seemed pointless and was getting used to laziness. I am different now.
Getting used to business attire and having responsibility doesn’t scare me.”
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They have met ‹fifiK
KUR through this Project…
‹fiKUR was introduced to the participant in this project. There weren’t any participants that had
applied to ‹fiKUR prior to this project. The regional meetings were the first leg of the introduction. They
made their registration to ‹fiKUR after this Project.
“Have I actually heard of ‹fiKUR, but how? Those that are looking for a job, go and apply there,
that’s how I heard of ‹fiKUR, so I had no link from jobs and stuff. As I didn’t work before”
“I did hear about it before. I even didn’t take it seriously. I thought the day would definitely come
and it will happen some way.”
“… Then we received the invitation. Not to us, they had sent it to me. It was written “‹fiKUR”
and stuff. That’s how I met ‹fiKUR first the first time, prior to that I hadn’t.”
How did they hear about the Project?
There were two main channels that informed the participant of the Project: the first is the letter sent
my ‹fiKUR, an invitation to the regional meetings, and the second has been informal web formed
between friends. Due to the second source, those that couldn’t be reached by invites, relatives not being
able to tell them and those that had no job invite from the state was easily reached. These webs
constitute a very significance place in the hearts of the girls, it fills the compassion gaps, forms a safe
environment and is therefore trusted. They also gain information that may be hard to come by. Our
Project is an example of this situation, we have utilised these communication webs. But this web also
weakens the connection with formal channels, and can lead to incomplete and exaggerated news, which
can lead on the wrong direction and can also break the hopes of the people.
“Firstly, I received the envelope. So… “we have this project. Do you want to participate? ”Tthere
was a meeting time. I wanted to participate. At that moment I thought to myself that if I participate now,
then I would get a job really quickly. I was very, very happy.”
“I was very happy when the envelope arrived. I was working in a music shop.”
“I was very happy to hear about the project. The letter arrived and they wanted me to attend the
meeting.”
“My brother told me about it. The letter had arrived in his house.”
“When they first invited me I was at work. When they said you were being called by ‹fiKUR, I had
just received my number and I thought my friends were joking with me”
“… For the first time, I had no idea, my friends…told me about it. They said that “There is
something like this, I have already sent it, and I said that “I wish” “if there was a possibility I would
come too” then she said “let’s call them maybe you can come too”
“They called me from the orphanage and said go to the meeting.”
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We met in the regional meetings…
Although the invitation to take a part in the project had caused quite a stir, most were not fully
trusting and thought “nothing will come out of this”. Most of our participants had a feeling of being
abandoned, that was highlighted in the orphanage and if they didn’t study, they can not find a job and
are therefore left outside, after reaching 18, and leaving the orphanage. Therefore they didn’t trust the
meeting. With this feeling didn’t believe the things they ehard in the meeting. Afterwards the
declaration of private sector possibilities have lead them to think they may be loosing their spots in the
public sector.
“…I was very excited. I didn’t believe in it, I went and went out. My morale was low, everyone was
on a different state of mind. I turned from half the way. And thought “ so what there is a 50% chance”
“While in the orphanage there was lots of people that said they would help out financially but
didn’t return. Therefore I didn’t believe in it. I told about that in the first meeting.”
“When I first heard about the project I wanted to attend the meeting. I liked Murat teacher a lot.
He directed me in the right direction.”
“In the first meeting there was Hürriyet from ‹fiKUR. We were 20 ladies. In my life, I lacked
backing the most. This training would support me. I was therefore happy…”
“I openly said that, “it probably wouldn’t happen”, “they are just making us to fill these forms as a
formality”. So I didn’t think it would happen.”
“My job was arranged by my teacher. My boss was very sleazy, and had not paid my social
security for 5,5 months. He didn’t want me to attend the meeting. I went nevertheless. There were
10-14 girls there. I was very surprised. My friends were overdressed and didn’t believe in the Project. I
did take it seriously, I was very worried when they said two people would be chosen as a result of it…”
“Murat came to the meeting. There were around 10-15 girls. On one way you are hopeful but I
thought I couldn’t attend it. I though it was just like a job interview. I wanted to be called. I wanted to
use this opportunity.”
Then, the long wait that breaks hope…
The first thoughts of “nothing will come out of this” and, “the forms are filled out as a formality”
signals the loss of hope. Therefore, they didn’t believe what was explained in the beginning sections of
the Project. During the two month wait for the training, they have thought how right they had been, of
course until they were invited …
“I haven’t heard of ‹fiKUR before, only in here. Ayflen says that... “in Ankara there is a computer
class or this and that class, do you want to go?”. And I said “Yes”. Then she gave us a form. And we
filled it out… then they said that you will leave on Sunday 21st of June” we couldn’t go on that day. And
then after it didn’t happen, I thought that it wouldn’t happen once again…I stopped dreaming about it.
I didn’t forget about it , I just let it go. I thought that “it wouldn’t happen” as 1,5 months had passed. I
could do …I was devastated.”
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“When Ayflen teacher phoned me in the music store, 3 customers were waiting for me. Tit was the
best thing in my life, as in my life there were only problems and fights existed..”
“I took the Project seriously. I was so happy to receive the phone call.”
“I wasn’t expecting them to call after the meeting. I was surprised to hear from them. The waiting
period has been painful. Just when I was loosing hope I said:” it is a “serious task””
“ …It was the last day, the day I arrived. (on her friend) I said “it is your choice”, and “at least do
something”. But she said that there was no time to loose and today was the last day. I then said “maybe
it will happen one day”, the next day she said that “they called me and they are inviting me as well”. At
that moment I was very happy, because I wanted it as well. “I was very happy to come. I just got on the
bus and came over””
Why did they participate?
They wanted to attend this project due to different reasons. Some thanks to the hope they would
get jobs at the end of it, some because they thought the training they received would be beneficial
regardless of the outcome, and some to distance themselves from the worrying environment they were
in and get a breath of fresh air... Most spoke of the positive effect the certificate would have on their
chances of finding a job. They attributed much more merit than us to the certificate they would receive
if they were successful in the exam after the training. The certificate was like a key: A document
relating to quality would open the doors to a proper workplace.
“I mean I only went in for computers. (Referring to the computer course). I followed job
advertisements, went to so many job interviews but couldn’t get in. If they don’t ask for anything, they
ask for a computers certificate. I said to myself, at least if I got a job in textiles or… etc, if I got a job in
places like that, I would work myself too. I would pull myself together. There were times when I
couldn’t even find the money to buy bread. I suffered so much, suffered so much.”
“I am here to get my certificate and get a job.”
“I am here to learn Computers”.
“I was overjoyed. Because I don’t want to work in such awful jobs. I was so happy. If I can just
participate in this, I’ll definitely get a job. That’s the way I channelled my thoughts, and directed myself
towards it, to participate. I said to my mum, “I am so happy mum, I am going to attend”.
“I was happy, Because at least I could gather my thoughts, and distance myself from the problems
at home”
“So, you see, I really wanted to go. You see, I was so happy. So, I would be going to Ankara. And
it had everything on the form: “Choose two professions you would like. Indicate your favourite with
numbers. First, I wanted beauty specialist, a lot. Second, Computers. Everyone was like this, they either
picked their own course or computers”.
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“This was my only consolation. If it didn’t happen, I would be going back. I wasn’t from Ankara but
I got picked. It was a huge chance. I wanted the course for the certificate most of all”
“…At the end of it is a certificate too. So, you network, give job security, and inform us on subjects
we have no knowledge of.”
“…During the meeting, I got this good opportunity, and I thought to myself, I should take
advantage of it.”
“My sole reason for coming here was, the woman at my workplace knew everything but never let
me touch the computer. When I returned to the workplace, I would say “I know Computers”. I
wouldn’t feel dominated by her showings of superiority. “This is a chance for me”, I said to myself.”
“I am here to develop myself, to learn my rights and never be dominated.”
“I am here to get a good education and gain self-respect.”
How they arrived
They hit the road with many questions on their mind, many worries in their hearts and doubts.
There were people who borrowed the money for the trip. To be frank, if their expenses during the
project were not compensated, they would not have been able to come. The came with trepidation, their
trip passed filled with thoughts of what they might find ahead. People who were making their first
intercity journey, people who didn’t leave the bus when it stopped for fear of getting lost or something
happening to them… People who did not move from where they got off the bus in Ankara until they
were greeted
“I left their … orphanage in 2003. I was on a picnic. When I got home, I opened the letter my
neighbour received, and was delighted. I became anxious too, how would I get to Ankara? I was glad
when I learnt we had 3 friends at the bus station.”
“…I had financial difficulties. They sent me in a hurry anyway, no money. I worked on it and came
back.” … “They pay for everything anyway”, I said.”
“ I was scared of the illicit issues. The doors, our safety overnight is important, you know. My
grandfathers were anxious. “Can you do it?” they said. “I am now the man of the house, I can go
anywhere.” I said. My mum will trust me, she won’t let them talk. If they had protected before, they
would be talking now.”
“As I was working and living with my mum I had think about, financial issues. I knew I could have
received the tickets from the fund. My mum got a loan and I was able to come.”
“When we got on the bus we were scared and excited with (tells the names of one of her friends).
We were so happy to see the teachers. (She is talking about Ayflen KARAKULAK that welcomed the
participants from the bus.)”
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“When I was in the car, while coming here, I hadn’t though of people in that way, people are very
nice very warm. I wanted it to continue this was forever.”
“In the hotel I felt safe, just like the way I felt in the orphanage… I was worried in Ankara. But I
learned that if you have money then you wouldn’t have problems. It would have scared me to be in
Ankara without any other girls from the orphanage.”
“We arrived with 6 people. We were all friends. If I had came alone there would have been a time
to think. I didn’t get excited. If there was a problem I would call GDSSCP, I will find out the address of
the place I was supposed to stay and find it.
How do you feel special?
All of them told as they eased their worries after being welcomed by the warm behaviour of the
Project representatives. “Feeling special” actually starts in this point. They all had a very good
impression of the behaviour of the Project representatives from the start to the finish of the Project.
Almost all have stated that they felt “special and significant for the first time” “have realised that they
were valuable” “were respected”, they have made these remarks about a number of times. Their
happiness was derived because of these factors.
“Ayflen teacher’s warmth, showed us that they were taking us seriously and that we were being
valued.”
“The only group that were treating us like that because we were who we were (on the Project
group), therefore I would like to thank ‹fiKUR”
Accommodation rules
The condition of staying with one other person in a room had surprised and also made the
participants happy, in addition to the hotel personnel’s professionalism and respectful behaviour.
“I was expecting a worse place, I was in a luxurious place. This place is very luxurious for me. We
have everything, a tv, computer, food…no carpets, boarding school, I used to wait 2 weeks for a bath.
There is warm water everyday. It is rude to complain when we don’t sweat for anything and do not have
to make an effort.”
“…when the hotel said “please wait the room will be cleaned” I was very excited as they showed
they valued us.”
“how can I put it I never though this place would be like this, we were going to stay in a hotel and
stuff. On the normal places we go to they are not hotels but are how can I put it…I thought we would
stay in a place like an orphanage. Because in everywhere we go, we stay in a place like an orphanage…I
didn’t have large expectations of this place. And that was good.”
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“… I didn’t know it would be like this. Everything is very nice and disciplined, everything has been
though about and considered…they thought about everything to make us comfortable. I want tot hank
you for that. And I am saying this with all my heart.”
“We understood each other; we were coming from the same place”
The first days of the program were cheerful but cautious. They didn’t want hotel personnel and
those people that they would meet in the social activities to know that they were coming from the
orphanage. They were happy when we asked their permission for photos and videos. They were afraid
to be recognised in the media by the people they know and by their relatives. We have actually seen the
impeccable and hurtful behaviour of media that did not care about the value of human life and
emotions, in the first certificate celebration.
The education period lead to new friendships.
“I thought that coming from different orphanages would lead to formation of different groups and
that there would be a cold atmosphere. But everyone took care of each other. We understood each
other, as we had shared the same experiences and we were all coming from the same place.”
“On the first day somebody had said that, “maybe you will have nice friendships”, and stuff...this
was returned back to me. That to have friends we would have to spend more time and share lots of
things, and we actually didn’t know anyone. Maybe we could have been good friends. Just “friends”
perhaps…maybe when we meet them a warmer atmosphere can be achieved. But to be “close friends”,
that is hard to establish…I just couldn’t say out loud these words they were all just stuffed in my mouth.
Now we have met the girls and everything is great. My thoughts are slowly changing. I am grateful that
I haven’t said those words then, maybe I could have hurt my new friends. It is just as well I dint say
those words.”
And trainings…
The program they had participated was made up of, occupational trainings, strengthening trainings
and social activities. They said a lot about the trainings and have written down a lot to the assessment
forms. To some what they learned was good whereas some found their trainer’s to be nice. Some have
stated that the training was tiring whereas the others have stated that it had changed their lives. They
were very pleased with the trainers. Here are a few examples.:
“I think the trainings are very, very good…I wasn’t expecting these additional lessons, I just it
would be computers. Really, I think it is very, very good, I mean, for them to think like this…who have
thought about it, and how? I wouldn’t have been able to think of these. It is great that they have thought
of these.”
“The way I talk and my gestures have changed, I will have a certificate, (on her family) wherever I
will find a job, we will go there. I think 90% of the places I apply to will accept me.”
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“The first was very important for me. I saw that I didn’t know anything. Although I have been a lot,
I didn’t know anything, I learned about, what I did in the past, what I am doing now, in what type of a
job I should have and my rights. If the employer want respect my rights, I know what I should do.”
“…I completed all of my shortcomings here, I think. I learned how to talk to someone my age and
my elders, I learned to be scared, I knew a little before, I was scared that people would react badly.”
“(She is forming a link between the trainings and Turkey) … I think it will be better for women as
at least 23 more girls are looking towards the future. They will show themselves in the equal position
of maybe on a better position than man. Those that participated in this course are aware of that now, at
least are getting to understand it better.”
“All the young people should take the strengthening classes prior to starting their jobs”
Within this Project the strengthening trainings were directed at girls that have been grown up in
orphanages or inexperienced young girls or factory workers, to help them to deal with problems that
may arise and to learn about different institutions and companies. The interviews have shown that, these
trainings have really had a strengthening effect. For instance, nearly all of them were happy with the
civil servant exam that they had taken, and linked their success to this project.
“The Project is so perfect…you said that “we will do it, it will happen”. That was good for me. I
had no fears of worries. I hope to get a certificate from the course and… go to university… I decided to
go back to school. I feel more confident now. I will have a certificate. My exam went well. Even though
I was scared. I am fine now.”
“I though the strengthening classes would be different and actually it was something completely
different. For instance, I was scared of marriage, I was scared of communicating, I feel developed now.
I know how to act on a better level. I know what I have to do when I start my job.”
“Young people should definitely have this training before starting work, because all of them were
lessons that are necessary.”
“We received a lot of information on numerous topics by visiting various institutions. All of them
were aspects that are significant for us. We had the opportunity to witness how people are working in
a hard manner, and even though we didn’t work ourselves we came close to it.”
“For instance I had decided to divorce with my husband. I had given a consent paper to my sister…I
told my sister “how can I afford this, how can I find a lawyer” the bar! The teacher said that “those that
are in financial difficulty, can ask for legal advice from us. You can receive advice from the Bar. You can
go to Women’s associations” and stuff. We have learned a lot about the law.
“The education is really good and qualified. Especially the strengthening class. We have learned a
lot. I was telling my fiancée the last day, I was saying “I”, “have learned about my rights”, “I am not as
easy as before”, he told me why I had gone to that place, you talk more (she laughs). So I learned a lot.
None of us knew that much. Whoever says that they did is lying. The stuff we knew wasn’t based on
anything.”
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“Knowing you legal rights before starting to work, how to act in the workplace are very important.
It is also important for me that women know their rights.”
“I learned not be wait empty handed in the workplace, not to allow people to walk over me.”
“... As I told you before, even if I did defend myself I didn’t know where to complain to. But now,
if somebody will do something, I know I can go to the police…I used to be really scared in the past.”
Now they are more ready for life…
The program has positively affected them. They were very influenced by the Project Working
Group, they have formed trustful relationships and has seen them as role models. Their last assessments
were very positive, and they felt more ready for life. Two things were certain, they were confident and
would be responsive to the invitations that would come outside of the GDSSCP. Most have said that they
were interested in the job offers from the private sector. After a while those that found a job in the
private sector agreed with this point.
“Actually, at first I didn’t want to come, just in case I wouldn’t receive a certificate. But I am glad I
came. I learned a lot from the girls and the teachers.”
“At the first glance, I was a very shy girl before I came to this place. I got over that now. I used to
get excited a lot. For instance, in the occupational course we make a speech. I couldn’t do that, but I
can now. I got over that uneasiness. So I learned a lot here.”
“I was scared of meeting tough people here. I was very surprised to meet people like my mum, when
I first met them it was very weird to me. Then I got used to it. I was worried about succeeding. Getting
a job, my big dream, can now come true.”
“…After the training I started talking nicer, and my knowledge increased. There are a lot of good
points and aren’t any bad points…I believe that my relationship with people will be better. I learned a
lot about body language, although I knew a little I didn’t know this much. I know what people are
thinking about me, I know about women’s rights, we stressed a lot on the topic, it was the right thing
to do…after the interviews when forming a dialogue with people, I believe I can be a better teacher to
my students.”
“I have positively influenced. I will put the information to use on topics like women’s rights, the
rights that I should protect, reproductive health and things on work life. I really got used to this place.
The program was really good, but I wish that there were more of courses on resolving conflict. I learned
how to act in the society. And also rules to follow in meetings, and how to fill free time. I wan to be like
our social services expert Ahmet teacher. I really like his ideas and attitude. But now I do think that I
can be like him”
“…I attended this Project while working as a shop assistant. I passed the Ministry of Education
exam, I will be a civil servant, I have saved my life”